I am not even sure she is a Catholic.  All we know at this stage is that Gooch her husband is a convert of just under 2 years (or thereabouts).  So I am assuming she is a non-Catholic or CINO rather than a practicing Novus Ordinarian.

Might be buried in one of the other threads.

The devil is in the details.

gooch, I'm seeing this from a different perspective than the others.  They are all correct of course.  But I see satan working here with the goal of DIVORCE.  He will use something good like your aversion to contraception to achieve his end.  See, when people get divorced it's almost impossible to stay in a state of grace.  Because of loneliness there WILL be other relationships, on both sides, that will either come close to adultery or will in fact be adultery.

Please see the big picture and know that the devil's goal here is to split you up.  Your priority must be your soul and the soul of your wife.  Even if she has the IUD removed she may still divorce you because of the real issue--control.  While you are the head of the family, in your heavy-handedness, you haven't loved her as Christ loves the Church.  You rule her with an iron rod instead of with tender mercy.  

Yes, she is a feminist.  Yes, you have God-given authority to be in charge of the family.  Yes, she has no right to prevent you from impregnating her.  But none of this will matter if you split.  You are not required to continue to produce more children.  Your goal should be to convince her to use no contraception and the only way to do that is to remove her fear that you will force her to produce more babies.  She is nearing menopause anyway and her fertility is declining.

Again, the issues raised by the other posters are correct but divorce is not an option.  It's a lie of the world that Catholics can SEEK divorce and remain in a state of grace.  The Church has NEVER taught that dogmatically.

Be assured that if you split, satan will make sure you meet a sweet, trad lady who would love to have babies with you and cater to all your desires.  She will be everything your wife isn't.  But the relationship will be evil.

I don't want to offend anyone.  Take what I have written with a grain of salt and TALK TO A TRADITIONAL PRIEST.  

FYI--I have a child with austism spectrum and this child had a strong reaction to the MMR given around age 2-3 months.

 While you are the head of the family, in your heavy-handedness, you haven't loved her as Christ loves the Church.  You rule her with an iron rod instead of with tender mercy.  

Your goal should be to convince her to use no contraception and the only way to do that is to remove her fear that you will force her to produce more babies.  She is nearing menopause anyway and her fertility is declining.

Good advice, though I question how he makes a convincing argument to the bit in red above.

If she removes the coil, biologically speaking the only way she can be 'sure' and therefore have 'no fear' is if they do not have sex until the menopause.

Otherwise he can lessen the fear, but he cannot remove it.  She might get pregnant again.

And yes, I know she might get pregnant on the coil, but she perceives that as a lot safer than any NFP method.  Perception is reality as far as any argument Gooch is making goes.  At least at the start.







The Wind and the Sun were disputing which was the stronger. Suddenly they saw a traveller coming down the road, and the Sun said: "I see a way to decide our dispute. Whichever of us can cause that traveller to take off his cloak shall be regarded as the stronger. You begin." So the Sun retired behind a cloud, and the Wind began to blow as hard as it could upon the traveller. But the harder he blew the more closely did the traveller wrap his cloak round him, till at last the Wind had to give up in despair. Then the Sun came out and shone in all his glory upon the
traveller, who soon found it too hot to walk with his cloak on.

Quote from: Zeitun

 While you are the head of the family, in your heavy-handedness, you haven't loved her as Christ loves the Church.  You rule her with an iron rod instead of with tender mercy.  

Your goal should be to convince her to use no contraception and the only way to do that is to remove her fear that you will force her to produce more babies.  She is nearing menopause anyway and her fertility is declining.

Good advice, though I question how he makes a convincing argument to the bit in red above.

If she removes the coil, biologically speaking the only way she can be sure and therefore have no fear is if they do not have sex until the menopause.

Otherwise he can lessen the fear, but he cannot remove it.  She might get pregnant again.







The Wind and the Sun were disputing which was the stronger. Suddenly they saw a traveller coming down the road, and the Sun said: "I see a way to decide our dispute. Whichever of us can cause that traveller to take off his cloak shall be regarded as the stronger. You begin." So the Sun retired behind a cloud, and the Wind began to blow as hard as it could upon the traveller. But the harder he blew the more closely did the traveller wrap his cloak round him, till at last the Wind had to give up in despair. Then the Sun came out and shone in all his glory upon the
traveller, who soon found it too hot to walk with his cloak on.

I agree I know women 46 - 48 that are still having babies.  :baby:

And by the way, I wouldn't give the MMR jab to my children not because I question its connection with autism but simply because I don't think Measles, Mumps or German Measles (Rubella) are particularly dangerous and doing 3 inoculations at once does seem like a money saving exercise.

But, if my wife REALLY wanted to give them inoculations, then I would seek out the most ethical and least risky way of doing it, and take some minor risks for the sake of keeping her happy and feeling like what she thinks actually matters.  She gave birth to them after all.

I would research it on the internet and discuss it with her in bed.  Get her input and go for that option.  That is what successful married couples do.

In the end what do the "risks" matter anyway?  Why are so called Traditional Catholics so afraid of autism or vaccines causing some minor risk of death or other problems?  My son is great.  Love him to bits.  He cannot commit a mortal sin, is assured of salvation, has lots of younger brothers and sisters to look after him when I've gone.  My other children might all disappoint me and lose their souls, but he cannot.

I thought Trads were supposed to welcome the crosses God sends.   :confused1:

Why for the sake of a very slight reduction of risk (even if you buy the whole MMR connection, the chances are less than 1%), would you drive a wedge between yourself and your wife and thereby risk your marriage and your entire family's eternal souls?

That's just short sighted.

you are one twisted person.. we are to disregard what we feel are safety measures for our children because we welcome all children

Quote from: Zeitun

 While you are the head of the family, in your heavy-handedness, you haven't loved her as Christ loves the Church.  You rule her with an iron rod instead of with tender mercy.  

Your goal should be to convince her to use no contraception and the only way to do that is to remove her fear that you will FORCE her to produce more babies.  She is nearing menopause anyway and her fertility is declining.

Good advice, though I question how he makes a convincing argument to the bit in red above.

If she removes the coil, biologically speaking the only way she can be 'sure' and therefore have 'no fear' is if they do not have sex until the menopause.

Otherwise he can lessen the fear, but he cannot remove it.  She might get pregnant again.

And yes, I know she might get pregnant on the coil, but she perceives that as a lot safer than any NFP method.  Perception is reality as far as any argument Gooch is making goes.  At least at the start.

I actually don't believe her biggest fear is pregnancy.  I think her biggest fear is that he doesn't care about her and her "needs".  Remember his wife is not a real Catholic so her "needs" would be worldly (which I think he's already stated).  Again I believe the issue is control not babies.  Note the word "force" above.

Non-Catholics don't care about morality and truth the way Catholics do so those arguments will backfire.  He has to appeal to her common sense and vanity.  Unfortunately.  Conversion is possible.  I speak from experience.

Quote from: ggreg

Quote from: Zeitun

 While you are the head of the family, in your heavy-handedness, you haven't loved her as Christ loves the Church.  You rule her with an iron rod instead of with tender mercy.  

Your goal should be to convince her to use no contraception and the only way to do that is to remove her fear that you will FORCE her to produce more babies.  She is nearing menopause anyway and her fertility is declining.

Good advice, though I question how he makes a convincing argument to the bit in red above.

If she removes the coil, biologically speaking the only way she can be 'sure' and therefore have 'no fear' is if they do not have sex until the menopause.

Otherwise he can lessen the fear, but he cannot remove it.  She might get pregnant again.

And yes, I know she might get pregnant on the coil, but she perceives that as a lot safer than any NFP method.  Perception is reality as far as any argument Gooch is making goes.  At least at the start.

I actually don't believe her biggest fear is pregnancy.  I think her biggest fear is that he doesn't care about her and her "needs".  Remember his wife is not a real Catholic so her "needs" would be worldly (which I think he's already stated).  Again I believe the issue is control not babies.  Note the word "force" above.

Non-Catholics don't care about morality and truth the way Catholics do so those arguments will backfire.  He has to appeal to her common sense and vanity.  Unfortunately.  Conversion is possible.  I speak from experience.

All pretty cryptic.  What does she fear then?  Hospital food?

Of course she fears pregnancy.  That is why she had the coil inserted.  Duh!

Gregg,

Her fears are really just the expression of his disbelief in God.  She doesn't believe in God.  We need to be straight about that.  

The best solution is the one that is no longer on the table and that is - do not marry a non-Trad Catholic girl.