Author Topic: wife rejects natural family planning (Read 31027 times)

Tiffany · « **Reply #185 on:** August 10, 2013, 06:05:02 AM »

Quote from: parentsfortruth

Quote from: ggreg
She did procreate. She had 3 children. It is not helpful at this stage to speculate on whether she had a long term plan. The OP considers himself married and three children need a mother and father. Retroactive speculation does not help.

It is more likely his wife is tired and feels incapable of having more children.

60 years ago nobody would have obtained an annulment if their wife got herself sterilised at 40 after 3 children. Now they are handed out like confetti and idiots like you whisper into the ears of men who should be trying to save their marriages, not run away like cowards.

You can't even listen to yourself. Someday you might come by this board years from now and read what you're saying and see how utterly ridiculous you sound. SHE PROCREATED ON HER OWN TERMS. Now she's choosing to leave God out of the equation completely.

And yes, she "feels" incapable, but with some prayers from her husband, she can regain that confidence. To just say "DERP OH WELL, SHE IS JUST GOING TO POTENTIALLY KILL OUR NEXT ONE! FIRE AWAY!" No, that is not the Catholic way to handle this situation.

PFT He wasn't justifying her not having more children. Many women do make decisions based on how they feel and it's not just with having children. Gooch has already mentioned her fatigue. Acknowledging what is behind her desire to use contraception isn't saying it's the Catholic way. It's not wrong to understand and try to help someone with whatever they feel while continuing to communicate Church teaching.

Conspiracy_Factist · « **Reply #186 on:** September 03, 2013, 09:20:00 PM »

Quote from: Zeitun

gooch,

Please read the testimony of Gloria Polo (she has received the permission of her bishop to share her story) who was struck by lightening and died after receiving third degree burns to her internal organs including ovaries, uterus, and breasts BECAUSE SHE WAS USING AN IUD.

http://www.gloria.polo.ortiz.in/

Hey I wanted to thank you for this link, I read it, and tried to get the wife to read it, she finally read a few pages and she seems to at least change her tune somewhat, she talked to songbird about nfp and while she's not convinced it will work she hinted to trying it and mentioned abstinence...better than hearing about divorce.

Zeitun · « **Reply #187 on:** September 04, 2013, 09:04:13 AM »

Quote from: gooch

Quote from: Zeitun
gooch,

Please read the testimony of Gloria Polo (she has received the permission of her bishop to share her story) who was struck by lightening and died after receiving third degree burns to her internal organs including ovaries, uterus, and breasts BECAUSE SHE WAS USING AN IUD.

http://www.gloria.polo.ortiz.in/

Hey I wanted to thank you for this link, I read it, and tried to get the wife to read it, she finally read a few pages and she seems to at least change her tune somewhat, she talked to songbird about nfp and while she's not convinced it will work she hinted to trying it and mentioned abstinence...better than hearing about divorce.

Deo gratias! Wonderful news. Keep praying that Our Lord will soften her heart on this issue.

Take care.

Julie10 · « **Reply #188 on:** September 04, 2013, 10:52:57 AM »

I don't have much advice to give but I will pray for you. I don't know you as I have not been on this bored long but I know about having babies.

The thing with babies and women is that NO MAN will ever understand what having a baby does to a women. I got so sick in my pregnancy that I got to point where I cried out and I could not imagine purgatory being worse. I actually developed an allergy to my baby and had burning welts all over my body. The only thing that kept me sane was knowing it would only be 9 months of h*** and not a lifetime. Plus after the baby comes you literally don't sleep for a year and your hormones are all screwed and it is hard. No man will ever understand. I have an amazing supportive husband and he still has no clue. So the best thing you can do is show empathy for the vocation she has and all she does already and try to help out more. Ask her what scares her about more children and ask her what she needs from you to get over the fear. She says she is scared of getting sick and tell her if she does you will take care of her or hire help to care for the children. She probably is feeling alone. Being a mom can be lonely in a way that when a women becomes a mom 99% of her life changes but for a man only like 10% so he will never understand how demanding motherhood is. Don't blame her or lecture her about God. Just say you understand why she wouldn't want more because it is hard but she is a great mom and wife and her babies are so lucky to have her. Tell her you can't stand the thought of not being with her in heaven and you will do whatever it takes to help her get there . I have tons of friends and the main reason they don't want more kids is because they don't get help and feel alone and sleep (sleep is the biggy.....offer to watch the kids so she can nap at least once a weekend). Start with the little things and it might help to move the big things.

Call home from work to see if she needs help or you to pick up anything. Come home early and tell her you will watch the kids for an hour so she can have a break, Etc.
You get more with honey than vinegar with women so show EMPATHY and be there. Work on being a supportive husband and make sure you tell her you love her and appreciate her. So many men have problems with words but it is worth it. Ask her to pray with you about it.

Most importantly LOVE her and make sure she knows it. Don't give up.

Capt McQuigg · « **Reply #189 on:** September 04, 2013, 11:52:35 AM »

Julie,

The woman in the example from your post doesn't need a husband, she needs a padded room and a custodian to keep an eye on her 24/7.