Author Topic: wife rejects natural family planning (Read 31174 times)

Tiffany · « **Reply #155 on:** August 03, 2013, 12:36:31 AM »

Quote from: Novus Weirdo

Yet you thought it would all be handy ammo when you got on this forum, thinking that by being worldly you would somehow know more than others who have been here a while and who are much more knowledgeable in terms of Catholic doctrine.

This is really nuts.

First of all, I searched out a trad forum, thinking other trads would be into natural remedies/midwives/not standard OB/GYN care, asking about a natural treatment for female problems that was recommended to me.

Secondly I've never thought of myself as worldly.

I think you should just put me on ignore.

Tiffany · « **Reply #156 on:** August 03, 2013, 12:37:40 AM »

Quote from: Hobbledehoy

Hello Gooch!

The only advice I can give you from experience is that prayer is ultimately the most efficient means whereby one may prevail against the obduracy of those whom we love: for it is not one who endeavors to change the other person but heavenly grace that liberates our loved ones' free volition from attachment to self and other temporary things. Such grace, however, it to be sought by prayer and penance.

Self-abandonment to the will of God, devotion to the Blessed Virgin Mary, and the earnest practice of the theological and moral virtues will enable you to be an exemplar whom your wife will acknowledge if only her free will is unburdened by self-attached and self-will. I would recommend you focus your energy on your children, praying for them, teaching them by word and deed, &c., so that your wife may awaken to the sublimity and profundity of the Catholic faith in all its luminosity. Perhaps if she sees how much your love the children and how you are all jealousy for their eternal welfare and the greater good of the household, maybe she too will remember that she does not belong to herself insofar as she is now a mother: a mother is never her own, and a married woman finds her freedom in maternity, and ultimately her salvation. This is as St. Thomas teaches when he comments on how St. Paul exhorts women to bear children: "Bear children, and not kill them secretly by abortion: yet she shall be saved through childbearing, if she continue in the faith [I Tim. v. 14]" ("Filios procreare, et non eos occulte occidere per abortum. Supra II, 15: salvabitur autem per filiorum generationem, si permanserit in fide," super I Tim. cap. v. lect. 2).

I especially recommend devotion to the Miraculous Infant Jesus of Prague. Please be assured of my prayers.

Glad you are back! :)

Telesphorus · « **Reply #157 on:** August 03, 2013, 01:56:52 AM »

Quote from: gooch

Quote from: Tiffany
Quote from: Telesphorus
"He was controlling, so I had to leave him" - how many so-called trads will accept that excuse at face value from women - how many Catholic men see themselves blamed for their wives abandoning the religion and abandoning their responsibilities?

I don't think it's an exaggeration to say this justification of women's horrible behavior and their knowledge that interlopers will support them, even at their own church, for breaking up their families, is one of the major reasons for the high divorce rate, particularly for religious men.

Being a pious man means getting a kick in the teeth from the liberals in the congregation when the worst happens.

Quote from: Zeitun

Please see the big picture and know that the devil's goal here is to split you up. Your priority must be your soul and the soul of your wife. Even if she has the IUD removed she may still divorce you because of the real issue--control. While you are the head of the family, in your heavy-handedness, you haven't loved her as Christ loves the Church. You rule her with an iron rod instead of with tender mercy.

It's his fault for his heavy-handedness and not loving her.

why do you say I don't love her? what exactly was my heavy handedness, which issue are yousaying I should have been more lenient? should I still be going to the novus order mass? would this be loving her more?

She was being SARCASTIC.

ggreg · « **Reply #158 on:** August 03, 2013, 03:20:15 AM »

Quote from: gooch

Quote from: ggreg
Gooch, according to the other thread you converted around two years ago or less.

So it's not like your wife married you with a full and frank understanding of what she was letting himself in for. You weren't from a family of 9 kids with all of your brothers and sisters having 6 or more.

From her perspective you have moved the goalposts on her. She was at least a decade into a marriage where she thought she could use contraception and all of a suddenly she is not only dealing with a convert's zeal (famous for causing these and other problems) but a bunch of other stuff like trousers, broccoli and inoculations.

Blimey man, can't you see what has happened here?

Turn the dial back a little. Turn the volume down. Let her slowly absorb the new you.

With that I wish you luck and I have deals to do.

yes I have moved the goal posts on her, not sure though are you advocating I give in to her? when you say turn the volume down I believe i am doing that, but unless I give in I don't see how else I can turn the dial back...as for trading in other issues for this one that won't fly, she's into the organic food, I don' force her to go to the mass every sunday..she understands the kids will never be vaccinated again...

You said she felt you had railroaded her on a lot of other issues which she had given in on.

Turn the volume down means saying you are willing to consider with an open heart ALL of the issues that don't involve mortally sinful immediate grave matter for the one that does, the one that WILL destroy your marriage. The issue that no Traditionalist Catholic and many a novus Ordo Catholic would or could tolerate.

Basically you have to shock and surprise her and make her reconsider you as a husband. Right now she is thinking through the pros and cons of divorce. What does that tell you about her state of mind?

Without breaking down the walls of her personal Alamo she is not going to back down. You are otherwise at an impasse. In my view and experience, 18 months without sɛҳuąƖ intercourse with your wife over an issue like this is a HUGE problem. In effect you past a sign on the road saying "slow down dangerous cliffs ahead" and you have ignored it.

And let's face it, your methods have not worked or you would not be here seeking advice. The definition of stupid is carrying on doing the same thing and expecting a different result.

Want the harsh truth? Your wife is either cheating on you or masturbating and thinking about other men. You've allowed that to happen with the enforced abstinence.

You are closer to the cliff edge than you think. If you stand on principal now, you will fall down that cliff and as a man in America, Australia or Britain today the courts are basically going to chew you up and spit you out.

Conspiracy_Factist · « **Reply #159 on:** August 03, 2013, 06:13:00 AM »

Quote from: ggreg

Quote from: gooch
Quote from: ggreg
Gooch, according to the other thread you converted around two years ago or less.

So it's not like your wife married you with a full and frank understanding of what she was letting himself in for. You weren't from a family of 9 kids with all of your brothers and sisters having 6 or more.

From her perspective you have moved the goalposts on her. She was at least a decade into a marriage where she thought she could use contraception and all of a suddenly she is not only dealing with a convert's zeal (famous for causing these and other problems) but a bunch of other stuff like trousers, broccoli and inoculations.

Blimey man, can't you see what has happened here?

Turn the dial back a little. Turn the volume down. Let her slowly absorb the new you.

With that I wish you luck and I have deals to do.

yes I have moved the goal posts on her, not sure though are you advocating I give in to her? when you say turn the volume down I believe i am doing that, but unless I give in I don't see how else I can turn the dial back...as for trading in other issues for this one that won't fly, she's into the organic food, I don' force her to go to the mass every sunday..she understands the kids will never be vaccinated again...

You said she felt you had railroaded her on a lot of other issues which she had given in on.

Turn the volume down means saying you are willing to consider with an open heart ALL of the issues that don't involve mortally sinful immediate grave matter for the one that does, the one that WILL destroy your marriage. The issue that no Traditionalist Catholic and many a novus Ordo Catholic would or could tolerate.

Basically you have to shock and surprise her and make her reconsider you as a husband. Right now she is thinking through the pros and cons of divorce. What does that tell you about her state of mind?

Without breaking down the walls of her personal Alamo she is not going to back down. You are otherwise at an impasse. In my view and experience, 18 months without sɛҳuąƖ intercourse with your wife over an issue like this is a HUGE problem. In effect you past a sign on the road saying "slow down dangerous cliffs ahead" and you have ignored it.

And let's face it, your methods have not worked or you would not be here seeking advice. The definition of stupid is carrying on doing the same thing and expecting a different result.

Want the harsh truth? Your wife is either cheating on you or masturbating and thinking about other men. You've allowed that to happen with the enforced abstinence.

You are closer to the cliff edge than you think. If you stand on principal now, you will fall down that cliff and as a man in America, Australia or Britain today the courts are basically going to chew you up and spit you out.

so you are in effect saying I should give in, correct? and no she's not cheating on me lol...how have I ignored it if I'm telling her about natural methods, if she accepts an alternative to contraception then we have a resolution...most modern women of today would have left me by now, the truth is she realizes she can't live without me,