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Author Topic: Wicked husband, children watching  (Read 4154 times)

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Offline En medio stat virtus

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Re: Wicked husband, children watching
« Reply #60 on: September 10, 2017, 09:03:17 AM »
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    • I am so sorry for your sufferings, but in my humble estimation you might want to prayerfully and logically listen to what your gut (God) is telling you. Not letting your emotions rule the decision. You have to work to  save your own soul and that of your children first and foremost. Pray and carefully look for employment. If it is God's will, it will happen. If you are able to find a sustaining job for yourself and your children then either find another place to live or have him leave. No one's counsel is infallible. If you continue to stay simple and pray, God will show what to do. Try not to be afraid. I am also praying for you and your family. 
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    Offline Jaynek

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    Re: Wicked husband, children watching
    « Reply #61 on: September 10, 2017, 09:36:32 AM »
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    • Quote from: Anothersoul on September 08, 2017, 09:41:16 AM
    I feel like I really can't do anything right because nothing changes so maybe I am doing it wrong. I have to continue to look for a remedy for my children instead of listening to people that know me who say that I am so brave for staying. I want to KNOW what I am doing what is right for my children and not myself. The reason I asked about what advice priests give is because I thought that when a confessor gives advice a Catholic can count on it coming from Jesus Himself.
    The forgiveness given in Confession comes from Christ Himself, but the advice does not.  It is from the priest, although assisted by the grace of his ordination.

    A priest's advice in the confessional is not infallible, but that does not mean we should ignore it, especially when several priests have all said the same thing.  And a traditional priest is far more likely to be right than advice you receive from strangers on a forum like this.  You know nothing about the people writing here and none of us have been given the graces to be a pastor of souls.  You seem to be looking for people to tell you that it is okay to ignore the priests you have spoken to.  This is probably a sign of a problem with you that you should be praying about.

    I am sorry that you are suffering and I will pray for you.  However priests who are more familiar with your situation and Church teaching than I am are all telling you the same thing.  Stay with your husband.  As far as I can tell, this is the correct advice for you.

    (For some background on me, I am a mother and grandmother and have been married for 38 years.)
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    Offline StCeciliasGirl

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    Re: Wicked husband, children watching
    « Reply #62 on: September 10, 2017, 11:23:03 AM »
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    • Quote from: Anothersoul on September 07, 2017, 11:59:53 PM
    He is a fallen away Novus Ordo convert

    Well, it should seem like you're off to a good start. (I'm not joking.)


    Quote
    Our income suffers because he only works part time, much less than he ever has, so we live on very meager means.

    Television is on constantly

    Have you tried focusing your prayers on your husband? Unending, ceaseless prayers that he won't see (since it seems that would cause him offense), including asking priests and religious to pray for his renewed state? Throughout your post, you mention separation and employment for yourself; you mention his vices, and your fear of how that might affect your family; but maybe Our Lord would have you refocus your prayer intentions on the head of your family, your husband. That he remember his Baptism, Confirmation, and Marriage vows, and that you have the strength and faith to focus your prayers on him. (And of course it never hurts to review your own vows, as well.)

    You have to have mercy on him, and forgive him, and have faith that God will improve his lot and therefore your own. And always be in thanksgiving, knowing that the Saints are praying for your Marriage as well if you ask. You and your family do have shelter and clothing; apparently transportation; you have many things to be thankful for that others of the Faith have not had. I find a full examination of my own shortcomings, followed by Confession and Penance, helps a lot with my prayer life.

    We go to graveyards and pray for those who are in Purgatory; it would seem we must certainly pray for those who yet live. Especially our spouses.
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    Legem credendi, lex statuit supplicandi

    +JMJ

    Offline Jaynek

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    Re: Wicked husband, children watching
    « Reply #63 on: September 10, 2017, 04:32:03 PM »
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    • Quote from: En medio stat virtus on September 10, 2017, 09:03:17 AM
    I am so sorry for your sufferings, but in my humble estimation you might want to prayerfully and logically listen to what your gut (God) is telling you. Not letting your emotions rule the decision. You have to work to  save your own soul and that of your children first and foremost. Pray and carefully look for employment. If it is God's will, it will happen. If you are able to find a sustaining job for yourself and your children then either find another place to live or have him leave. No one's counsel is infallible. If you continue to stay simple and pray, God will show what to do. Try not to be afraid. I am also praying for you and your family.
    I don't understand what you mean by "listen to what your gut (God) is telling you".  Putting the word "God" in parentheses after "your gut" makes it look like you think these are the same thing.  That is a very wrong idea.
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    Offline Jaynek

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    Re: Wicked husband, children watching
    « Reply #64 on: September 10, 2017, 04:43:03 PM »
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    • Quote from: Anothersoul on September 08, 2017, 08:49:45 AM
    I need to know that I am not an enabler by staying.
    Or is that a term that doesn't apply to Catholics?
    The term "enabler" comes from modern psychology and has little to do with Catholic thinking.  The closest Catholic concept is being an accessory to sin.
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    Offline Anothersoul

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    Re: Wicked husband, children watching
    « Reply #65 on: September 11, 2017, 09:49:35 PM »
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    • Thank you, to all of you, for taking time to offer advice for our situation. I take them to heart and consider all as I am working on myself also while I suffer in this difficult marriage..it is not easy to come out and talk about this with strangers, but we are all Catholic, so that makes us FAMILY. 


    To those concerned, my husband has NEVER, and would NEVER deliberately expose our children to pornography. He does love them and sees the value of their innocence, but he cannot overcome this for himself. 
    I have the reminder in the back of my mind that every time he does this (regardless of the kids seeing or knowing anything) he brings demons with him, and in our home..unless there is some kind of heavenly protection that I cannot verify..so I am constantly haunted by this frightening reality.
    (We use holy water liberally around here and daily. Benedict medals in place, and Hearts of Jesus and Mary displayed in a place of honor with daily Consecration said) 

    Thankfully the children have ZERO access to internet and tv is off during the day. Then it's mostly family oriented shows with dad. 
    I would toss the tv in a heartbeat if he would let me. But he's addicted. 

    The ideal that I am praying for is to be able to raise my children without the added modernism, and with Traditional Catholic Family Unity. 
    Daily prayers and Rosary while we trudge on.  :pray:


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    Offline clarkaim

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    Re: Wicked husband, children watching
    « Reply #66 on: September 20, 2017, 08:04:41 PM »
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    • Quote from: DZ PLEASE on September 08, 2017, 07:52:18 AM
    In other words you don't know, and you could be wrong.

    Also, at the risk of starting a cackle fest in the hen house, if this is an honest post, and not a misrepresentation then there are alternatives, such as we are dealing with a scuffed up, desperate mother of two, and she's talking about what it felt like, these alleged traditional priests actually said something else i.e. she misunderstood.

    Real world example. "Sweet heart, you gonna eat  that second slice of cake?"

    She thinks "I look like a fat troll!"

    He thinks "Am I gonna be a dad again?"

    She says "HE CALLED ME FAT AND UGLY! :really-mad2: >:( :cussing: :'("

    He joins the dog in the barn.
    :laugh2: :laugh1: :laugh2: :applause: :cheers:
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    Offline clarkaim

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    Re: Wicked husband, children watching
    « Reply #67 on: September 20, 2017, 08:16:47 PM »
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    • Quote from: Anothersoul on September 11, 2017, 09:49:35 PM
    Thank you, to all of you, for taking time to offer advice for our situation. I take them to heart and consider all as I am working on myself also while I suffer in this difficult marriage..it is not easy to come out and talk about this with strangers, but we are all Catholic, so that makes us FAMILY.


    To those concerned, my husband has NEVER, and would NEVER deliberately expose our children to pornography. He does love them and sees the value of their innocence, but he cannot overcome this for himself.
    I have the reminder in the back of my mind that every time he does this (regardless of the kids seeing or knowing anything) he brings demons with him, and in our home..unless there is some kind of heavenly protection that I cannot verify..so I am constantly haunted by this frightening reality.
    (We use holy water liberally around here and daily. Benedict medals in place, and Hearts of Jesus and Mary displayed in a place of honor with daily Consecration said)

    Thankfully the children have ZERO access to internet and tv is off during the day. Then it's mostly family oriented shows with dad.
    I would toss the tv in a heartbeat if he would let me. But he's addicted.

    The ideal that I am praying for is to be able to raise my children without the added modernism, and with Traditional Catholic Family Unity.
    Daily prayers and Rosary while we trudge on.  :pray:
    my prayers are with you, and if your a troll, I default that you are sincere, what do I lose?  nada.  
    Now this tv thing.  I've noticed for a long time how propagandized American's are, the stuypid things we believe that are spoon fed to us by this hooknosed hymie tools of satan.  Been "red-pilled" for a minute or two.  BUT  jst like when an old girlfriend asked her brother and I if we where giving up alcohol for lent, his response 25 yrs ago was "hell no, the NCAA men's basketball tournament is in lent"  Truer words where never spoken.  How can you watch KU basketball without a TV?  Father Violette granted me that caveat once, even came over for a few games and beers over the years. 
    God bless.  Hang in there, keep praying, introduce your husband to some good MEN in the parish (no hens, for certain!!)  and his better nature just might come around.  Action though, God does not drive parked cars.  Good friends build good men. 
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