Author Topic: Why So Many Single Men and Women? (Read 4459 times)

Marcelino · « **on:** March 25, 2012, 09:51:39 PM »

I notice a lot of single men and women these days, between 30-50. The girls seem pretty, polite and kept enough. The boys seem fit, decent and hard working. Why are these people not getting married, but instead staying single? I've also spoken to girls in their 20s that don't want to get married and aren't interested in being nuns or oblates. They seem to want to be career singles, yet some of them appear to like boys well enough. What's going on?

Incidentally, the people I am specifically thinking of are all trads, but of course you'd find this in novus as well as protestant churches. And certainly, you'd find this among modern agnostics too.

Telesphorus · « **Reply #1 on:** March 25, 2012, 10:05:45 PM »

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They seem to want to be career singles, yet some of them appear to like boys well enough. What's going on?

Incidentally, the people I am specifically thinking of are all trads, but of course you'd find this in novus as well as protestant churches. And certainly, you'd find this among modern agnostics too.

There aren't good jobs for the young men. The young women have absorbed feminism and hypergamy.

As for their moral behavior, I doubt (in general) after a certain age it's significantly different than the rest of society.

Telesphorus · « **Reply #2 on:** March 25, 2012, 10:09:48 PM »

The parents who think they're traditionalists didn't manage to raise their children to be traditional. The most powerful social influences are not consciously recognized.

s2srea · « **Reply #3 on:** March 25, 2012, 10:14:08 PM »

Please Marcelino- we don't need any posts like this for a while...

Telesphorus · « **Reply #4 on:** March 25, 2012, 10:20:37 PM »

One has to be with femitraditionalism or against it.

But femitraditionalism will mean the dwindling of the traditional movement within a couple generations.

It seems for many, believing Catholic men in the churches aren't good enough for their daughters. Thinking that way is really a form of silent apostasy.

FaithByProxy · « **Reply #5 on:** March 25, 2012, 10:36:25 PM »

Feminist problems aside, I think one of the biggest issues is that women and men are both conditioned to be completely afraid of commitment in the modern world. It's seen as something bad - like some sort of mental illness, almost. People think that being morally depraved, selfish, near-sociopaths will make their lives better, and find out only too late that the opposite is true.

They are taught that they need to know each other for years to marry. They think that marriage, children, and any sort of commitment that will take longer than a month to sort out is terrifying and requires perfect planning and execution. The modern human has been sheltered so much from any sort of hardship, mental or physical, that the slightest discomfort sends him running.

It is a sorry state of affairs. I wish that more adults would behave like adults instead of spoiled children.

Telesphorus · « **Reply #6 on:** March 25, 2012, 10:44:00 PM »

Quote from: FaithByProxy

I think one of the biggest issues is that women and men are both conditioned to be completely afraid of commitment in the modern world.

I think men are often afraid of commitment because of the severe risks that marriage entails today.

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It's seen as something bad - like some sort of mental illness, almost.

I think rather the desire to be with one person alone is seen as weakness. Mutual dependence is seen as weakness. Sometimes men are repelled by what they see as weakness in women, but I think more commonly, men who are sentimental are seen as weak by women.

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People think that being morally depraved, selfish, near-sociopaths will make their lives better, and find out only too late that the opposite is true.

I think there is a lack of honesty. It's difficult for people to trust others if they area themselves dishonest. It is hard to know one's own mind when self-deception and rationalization are the norm.

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They are taught that they need to know each other for years to marry. They think that marriage, children, and any sort of commitment that will take longer than a month to sort out is terrifying and requires perfect planning and execution. The modern human has been sheltered so much from any sort of hardship, mental or physical, that the slightest discomfort sends him running.

People wait a long time because they are encouraged to wait. Because people do not trust each other, because people have become dishonest.

ServusSpiritusSancti · « **Reply #7 on:** March 25, 2012, 10:49:24 PM »

Well, the single life is a vocation for some. I am not yet sure what my vocation is, but what I can say is that finding a Trad woman will be difficult given the circuмstances I am in.

FaithByProxy · « **Reply #8 on:** March 25, 2012, 10:57:29 PM »

That is certainly true, Telesphorus. Navigating social circles (some, not all) is like walking through a minefield of deception, so it isn't hard to see how people can quickly become disillusioned and unable to trust others easily.

The issue is very complex, and has a lot of layers to it. Feminism, immaturity, and dishonesty all play their part, as well as a general scorn towards family life.

Marcelino: I would pray for your single friends, and hope that they are living holy lives, which is certainly possible if they are single for unselfish reasons.

Spiritus: Very true. I was speaking more as a generalization, much of society has an issue with staying single for bad reasons. One look at the rising birth rate among single women is a good indication of the terrible trend.

As for marrying at 18...I wouldn't rule it out. If the couple is mature and has a good understanding of their duties toward each other as husband and wife, then I don't see the issue. If, however, they are immature and just want to marry for the experience of it, or due to base passions, then there would definitely be room for doubt, which would be true at any age.

It was not uncommon for people to marry at a young age, even in fairly recent history. If human civilization has marched forward without collapsing thus far, I think it's probably safe to say that marrying young is not a major issue.

Marcelino · « **Reply #9 on:** March 26, 2012, 11:56:22 AM »

So, what I'm hearing is, it's basically low wages and fear of betrayal (which often seems legitimate). I'd also add to that a lack of visible and practical community support and strong community ties (diversity and transience alienates people). I'm thinking like, you can trust and depend on your next door neighbor to watch your kids for you, while you run and errand, just because they think they should be neighborly and of course, they won't corrupt them, because they're "good people."

Some people think the state can step in and change things, but Germany for example apparently has very generous benefits for married couples with children and their birthrate is pathetic. Russia too apparently pays a big cash bonus to women who have kids, but same thing. Not much of a dent. And you know, there they don't have the diversity we have here, so that says a lot too. Although, I guess they do have a lot of moral diversity nowadays.

I'd also add a general sense of incompetence. Look at blockbuster movies like "The Sixth Sense." Basically expressing all this fear of death and the supernatural. Why should a Christian be afraid of those things? You'd have to have lost your faith to have all that fear. So, without that faith how are you supposed to deal with life? It seems hopeless. I suppose there is a sense of hopelessness in The West.

Jitpring · « **Reply #10 on:** March 26, 2012, 01:37:27 PM »

Quote from: Marcelino

I notice a lot of single men and women these days, between 30-50. The girls seem pretty, polite and kept enough. The boys seem fit, decent and hard working. Why are these people not getting married, but instead staying single? I've also spoken to girls in their 20s that don't want to get married and aren't interested in being nuns or oblates. They seem to want to be career singles, yet some of them appear to like boys well enough. What's going on?

Incidentally, the people I am specifically thinking of are all trads, but of course you'd find this in novus as well as protestant churches. And certainly, you'd find this among modern agnostics too.

I know a single, non-sodomite 40-year-old trad (convert from paganism), whose parents have around 12 marriages between them. Not surprisingly, he's not very enthusiastic about getting married. I suspect the post-60s marital wreckage has produced many like him.

SouthernBelle · « **Reply #11 on:** March 26, 2012, 02:37:08 PM »

I imagine people don't get married for several reasons. Two that I can immediately think of are (1) they desire marriage, but haven't yet met the right person; or (2) they don't have any particular desire to marry, but don't have a vocation to the religious life.

There's nothing wrong with Catholics living a chaste single life. In fact, I think it used to be common for there to be many more single people than we see today. Older stories/novels often mention the spinster aunt or crusty bachelor uncle.

These days, in our hyper-sɛҳuąƖized culture, if you're not married or in a "relationship" you're viewed as being deficient in some way. Perhaps these people you are noticing are simply living out more "traditional" - and therefore natural - roles.

Telesphorus · « **Reply #12 on:** March 26, 2012, 06:19:32 PM »

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In fact, I think it used to be common for there to be many more single people than we see today.

Actually, I think that's not true.

Here Dorothea Dix states that there was a time when old bachelors and old maids were "as scarce as hen's teeth."

http://news.google.com/newspapers?nid=1129&dat=19341013&id=N7VRAAAAIBAJ&sjid=LWkDAAAAIBAJ&pg=6192,5169108

This article is very interesting, because it shows the changes that have been happening in society have been progressing for a long time. The young woman who writes to Dorothea Dix is claiming that men are to blame for not marrying them, but the explanation is given as to why it's not the men who are to blame. Men do not marry women because they cannot afford them, because they are less useful, and because they are less chaste and more liable to divorce. Those are the reasons she lays out.

Marcelino · « **Reply #13 on:** March 27, 2012, 02:11:35 PM »

Quote from: Telesphorus

Quote
In fact, I think it used to be common for there to be many more single people than we see today.

Actually, I think that's not true.

Here Dorothea Dix states that there was a time when old bachelors and old maids were "as scarce as hen's teeth."

http://news.google.com/newspapers?nid=1129&dat=19341013&id=N7VRAAAAIBAJ&sjid=LWkDAAAAIBAJ&pg=6192,5169108

This article is very interesting, because it shows the changes that have been happening in society have been progressing for a long time. The young woman who writes to Dorothea Dix is claiming that men are to blame for not marrying them, but the explanation is given as to why it's not the men who are to blame. Men do not marry women because they cannot afford them, because they are less useful, and because they are less chaste and more liable to divorce. Those are the reasons she lays out.

Wow, a 1934 newspaper!

They say, all revolutions are top down events.

I think the money thing is probably the biggest reason (usury). And therein likely lies the motivation for promoting the sɛҳuąƖ revolution among the people in the first place. You know, lust makes you stupid. And lust is a very popular vice and it is easy to sell. So, what better way to dumb down the people, so you can draw the wealth out of their country, than to promote lust. :idea:

sɛҳuąƖ Revolution prepares the way for the Feminist Revolution (once enough men turn into sex maniacs). Feminism = contempt for rank, at its most basic level. Once you're there as a culture, husbands, wives, children and even the family dog are entitled to nothing more from each other, than any stranger/stray on the street is.

Marcelino · « **Reply #14 on:** March 27, 2012, 02:17:37 PM »

Quote from: Jitpring

Quote from: Marcelino
I notice a lot of single men and women these days, between 30-50. The girls seem pretty, polite and kept enough. The boys seem fit, decent and hard working. Why are these people not getting married, but instead staying single? I've also spoken to girls in their 20s that don't want to get married and aren't interested in being nuns or oblates. They seem to want to be career singles, yet some of them appear to like boys well enough. What's going on?

Incidentally, the people I am specifically thinking of are all trads, but of course you'd find this in novus as well as protestant churches. And certainly, you'd find this among modern agnostics too.

I know a single, non-sodomite 40-year-old trad (convert from paganism), whose parents have around 12 marriages between them. Not surprisingly, he's not very enthusiastic about getting married. I suspect the post-60s marital wreckage has produced many like him.

Yeah, I know a guy who literally found his wife in bed with the neighbor and he says that was his last and only marriage for him. He too comes from a broken home.