Author Topic: Why dont parents with kids have time? (Read 852 times)

Matthew · « **on:** July 26, 2010, 09:10:33 AM »

Here is a scan of a newspaper article someone posted:

JoanScholastica · « **Reply #1 on:** July 29, 2010, 06:54:47 PM »

Becoming a parent is about devoting your time for your child. It's not really about having no time for yourself. IMHO, a time spent with your kid is like a time spent with yourself as well.

For those who say they don't have time for themselves, I guess it's just but missing their days like way back when they're still single. And this is nothing but immaturity.

wallflower · « **Reply #2 on:** July 29, 2010, 07:33:39 PM »

Quote from: JoanScholastica

Becoming a parent is about devoting your time for your child. It's not really about having no time for yourself. IMHO, a time spent with your kid is like a time spent with yourself as well.

For those who say they don't have time for themselves, I guess it's just but missing their days like way back when they're still single. And this is nothing but immaturity.

I'm a mother and I beg to differ. Wanting a few moments or a day or an evening to oneself does not necessarily indicate immaturity. Nor does it indicate not enjoying time spent with their children. Wanting to shirk responsibility and be single again is immature for sure but few women really want that. If you think about all the people with responsibility for others, they get time off, time to rejuvenate. The nuns I know always get a day a week away from their duties for wholesome recreation. Parish priests that I know, who are responsible for hundreds of souls, get a day a week to themselves for recreation (besides Sunday, their busiest day). Husbands (generally) get to come home from work and rest from their work days. My point is that most people are/should be able to leave work at work and enjoy home as home. A mother's work IS at home. A mother's work IS her children, her homemaking and her husband. So for her to enjoy a little recreation she needs to get away from her work, which translates to getting out of the house for a bit, a break from the children, a break from hubby. Does that make a little sense? It often has nothing to do with selfishness or immaturity but the God-given need for wholesome recreation.

Matthew · « **Reply #3 on:** July 29, 2010, 11:40:36 PM »

I agree that wanting recreation is not selfish --

However, I think your view of a typical husband's life is a little rosy.

A husband has to interface with the modern world, to fight it and survive it, to keep his job, deal with people, etc. and support his family. And in a recession there is a lot more for husbands to worry about. But my main point is that most husbands have plenty to worry about besides their jobs: the house (the building itself), the land/outside stuff/machines, helping with the kids and discipline, and still have some time left over to make his wife feel appreciated. It can be quite difficult to juggle all the various duties at times.

And when the wife is pregnant and needs more sleep/has less energy/can't get around as well, don't think a good husband doesn't take on a bunch of other duties as well: laundry, dishes, diapers, cooking, you name it.

I know that in my case, my wife and I are both horribly busy (except maybe 1 hour before bedtime, which gets later all the time!)

Lastly, I disagree with your statement about "getting a break from hubby". Let's just say that my wife has no dreams of getting away from all of us -- just the kids. Same for me. We actually enjoy each other's company -- we read and discuss books, have pretty much the same interests, etc. and we are each others' best friend. Maybe we're just really lucky?

Matthew

Alex · « **Reply #4 on:** July 30, 2010, 01:14:04 AM »

Quote from: wallflower

I'm a mother and I beg to differ. Wanting a few moments or a day or an evening to oneself does not necessarily indicate immaturity. Nor does it indicate not enjoying time spent with their children. Wanting to shirk responsibility and be single again is immature for sure but few women really want that. If you think about all the people with responsibility for others, they get time off, time to rejuvenate. The nuns I know always get a day a week away from their duties for wholesome recreation. Parish priests that I know, who are responsible for hundreds of souls, get a day a week to themselves for recreation (besides Sunday, their busiest day). Husbands (generally) get to come home from work and rest from their work days. My point is that most people are/should be able to leave work at work and enjoy home as home. A mother's work IS at home. A mother's work IS her children, her homemaking and her husband. So for her to enjoy a little recreation she needs to get away from her work, which translates to getting out of the house for a bit, a break from the children, a break from hubby. Does that make a little sense? It often has nothing to do with selfishness or immaturity but the God-given need for wholesome recreation.

I completely agree.

Alex · « **Reply #5 on:** July 30, 2010, 01:15:54 AM »

Quote from: Matthew

I agree that wanting recreation is not selfish --

However, I think your view of a typical husband's life is a little rosy.

A husband has to interface with the modern world, to fight it and survive it, to keep his job, deal with people, etc. and support his family. And in a recession there is a lot more for husbands to worry about. But my main point is that most husbands have plenty to worry about besides their jobs: the house (the building itself), the land/outside stuff/machines, helping with the kids and discipline, and still have some time left over to make his wife feel appreciated. It can be quite difficult to juggle all the various duties at times.

And when the wife is pregnant and needs more sleep/has less energy/can't get around as well, don't think a good husband doesn't take on a bunch of other duties as well: laundry, dishes, diapers, cooking, you name it.

I know that in my case, my wife and I are both horribly busy (except maybe 1 hour before bedtime, which gets later all the time!)

Lastly, I disagree with your statement about "getting a break from hubby". Let's just say that my wife has no dreams of getting away from all of us -- just the kids. Same for me. We actually enjoy each other's company -- we read and discuss books, have pretty much the same interests, etc. and we are each others' best friend. Maybe we're just really lucky?

Matthew

And that's the reason I've chosen to remain single all my life. Married life takes a lot of energy - energy which I don't have anymore.

JoanScholastica · « **Reply #6 on:** July 30, 2010, 01:22:13 AM »

Quote from: wallflower

Quote from: JoanScholastica
Becoming a parent is about devoting your time for your child. It's not really about having no time for yourself. IMHO, a time spent with your kid is like a time spent with yourself as well.

For those who say they don't have time for themselves, I guess it's just but missing their days like way back when they're still single. And this is nothing but immaturity.

I'm a mother and I beg to differ. Wanting a few moments or a day or an evening to oneself does not necessarily indicate immaturity. Nor does it indicate not enjoying time spent with their children. Wanting to shirk responsibility and be single again is immature for sure but few women really want that. If you think about all the people with responsibility for others, they get time off, time to rejuvenate. The nuns I know always get a day a week away from their duties for wholesome recreation. Parish priests that I know, who are responsible for hundreds of souls, get a day a week to themselves for recreation (besides Sunday, their busiest day). Husbands (generally) get to come home from work and rest from their work days. My point is that most people are/should be able to leave work at work and enjoy home as home. A mother's work IS at home. A mother's work IS her children, her homemaking and her husband. So for her to enjoy a little recreation she needs to get away from her work, which translates to getting out of the house for a bit, a break from the children, a break from hubby. Does that make a little sense? It often has nothing to do with selfishness or immaturity but the God-given need for wholesome recreation.

It is my personal opinion. Nonetheless, I do understand you.