Author Topic: Why Do Some Girls Try So Hard To Be Looked At? (Read 9424 times)

Marcelino · « **Reply #15 on:** March 10, 2012, 08:24:36 PM »

One thing I noticed was that a girl who acts like this, in a group that is all male, ends up in a powerful position and can even, if allowed to by a more socially powerful male, control the group, provided of course, that the men in the group play the sucker (after all, she's just a fantasy for most, if not all of them and for the poor slob who ends up with her, he'll spend his time with her tortured by constant feelings of jealousy, because of real, albeit "internal" and perhaps not "external," infidelity to him)

Another thing I've noticed, is that a girl who does this has the power to "stun" most males, thereby throwing them off balance and leaving them mixed up for a moment or two. There's no way a male can perform at his peak under that influence. He's too dazed and confused, particularly if he keeps going back for more

Telesphorus · « **Reply #16 on:** March 10, 2012, 08:41:06 PM »

Quote from: Marcelino

One thing I noticed was that a girl who acts like this, in a group that is all male, ends up in a powerful position and can even, if allowed to by a more socially powerful male, control the group, provided of course, that the men in the group play the sucker (after all, she's just a fantasy for most, if not all of them and for the poor slob who ends up with her, he'll spend his time with her tortured by constant feelings of jealousy, because of real, albeit "internal" and perhaps not "external," infidelity to him)

Another thing I've noticed, is that a girl who does this has the power to "stun" most males, thereby throwing them off balance and leaving them mixed up for a moment or two. There's no way a male can perform at his peak under that influence. He's too dazed and confused, particularly if he keeps going back for more

The thing to remember is that a young man who still reacts strongly to such things has to keep in mind that his stock is going up, and hers are going down. Achieving self-mastery, avoiding a preoccupation with women in youth will allow you to attract a woman who is better than you ever thought possible when you get older. Indeed you'll think you were crazy for liking the girls you did at that age.

A man's value relative to women will go up hugely if he practices virtue. Even to intermittently or to a slim degree he will see his stock go way up.

Pursuit of women should be on your own terms, when you're in a good enough position, they need to prove their worthiness, you need to prove nothing.

The worst possible thing to do (I of all people should know) is to be grateful and smitten by feminine attention. Or to be afraid of losing it.

Raoul76 · « **Reply #17 on:** March 10, 2012, 09:26:33 PM »

Some gems here from Tele, but I'm used to hearing him say intelligent things before once again trying to draw you into his extremes:

Quote

True chivalry is the gracious behavior of men who refrain from exercising the advantages that their real power gives them out of genuine altruism. It's not posing as a knightly guardian of women out of a supplicating desire to please them.

Quote

What is called chivalry today is not a knightly code of honor but rather a naive and boyish bashfulness that is at once insisted on as a kind of tribute while being inwardly despised.

It's all true. The only part I take issue with is talking about a true and false chivalry. The whole code of chivalry itself is part of an incipient feminism; it's part of women's desire to be worshiped. Courtly love and all that was clearly a harbinger of what we see today. Chivalry was a subtle replacement of true obedience and virtue with a more worldly set of values, that looks the same to the untrained eye but really isn't.

The romantic idealist, the Roland headed for the cliffs of destruction, worries about chivalry. A Catholic husband should pattern himself after St. Joseph, not some kind of lovesick fool medieval knight who goes out and fights in a Crusade so that a woman might give him a lock of her hair -- men who did this replaced Christ with a mere creature. Back then just like now, it was the devil who was influencing people through fantasy literature.

It's interesting to read the story of St. Ignatius, who started out as just this kind of Don Quixote, obsessed with all the codes and behavior patterns that go along with it. He told the story of how he used to pay court to a certain woman who was the "belle dame sans merci" type, who always kept him at arm's length and was cold and forbidding. He realized eventually that he felt miserable whenever he was thinking of this woman, and felt exalted whenever he thought of God. This was one of his revelations that made him what he eventually became.

Raoul76 · « **Reply #18 on:** March 10, 2012, 09:36:05 PM »

Vain women, which is many, many, many of them today, have a bottomless desire to be worshiped. There is the cliché about men being like dogs, and women like cats -- when they are at their worst -- and it is really true. Men, when they are immoral, tend to just go around humping anything that moves, like a dog. Immoral women, like cats, are elusive and hard to catch. They're warm one minute and then cold the next, to always keep you off-guard and to keep you fixated on them. They disappear and leave you a note saying "Never forget me!" They want men to be consumed by them, to jump off a cliff for them. That is the ultimate tribute for some women, to see men kill each other or commit ѕυιcιdє for them.

Men need to learn these wiles that women use. I have seen it with Catholic women just the same as with non-Catholic women, and the guys have no clue what's going on. They are totally helpless. Girls pick it up instinctively and from the media, but young men, I fear, have no real way to defend themselves except to trust someone older and wiser, preferably a priest.

As someone experienced in the world, alas, I see through it all with pinpoint accuracy. I should set up a service where guys run their potential mates by me. I can tell someone who will be a poor choice in two seconds flat. Of course, this is what priests do so it looks like my service will never get off the ground

Raoul76 · « **Reply #19 on:** March 10, 2012, 09:45:45 PM »

Signs to look for in a girl that means she is very likely a bad choice as a wife --

* Manipulation, juggling several suitors, talking to lots of guys. A girl with more heart will see that, if she shows serious interest in one guy, she should concentrate on him alone. Then if that doesn't work, she can move to the next. Girls these days try to make themselves seem desireable by surrounding themselves with male attention, to stir up envy; this should have the opposite effect by repulsing good men.

* An excessive fascination with the media. I would say anything less than total contempt is an excessive fascination, by the way, and no, I'm not kidding. Now, she may turn on the TV from time to time, but overall she should be very aware of how evil it is. Many, many trad Catholic girls are way too into pop culture, and it warps their minds in a way that is all too apparent.

* A surly and sarcastic attitude, a general atmosphere of unhappiness, this is a sign the girl is not resigned to the will of God. She isn't content because she feels like deserves something more than what she has, she has expectations that are making her unhappy -- beware! A good wife rolls with the punches and accepts what God sends her. Very minor signs can tell you a LOT. With Catholics, you likely won't see any major acting-out, but the self-obsession will come out in subtle ways.

* If the girl comes after you instead of vice versa. Girls should wait until they are approached or get an introduction.

I believe that a relationship leading to marriage, if it is in God's will, will most often be smooth and easy. Two people like each other and figure it's about time to get married so they do it. They don't expect perfection but they see that they can make it work and they are compatible. There certainly is no room for any overt manipulation or game-playing with Catholic courtship.

Hobbledehoy · « **Reply #20 on:** March 10, 2012, 10:20:32 PM »

Quote from: Marcelino

Lots of girls dress immodestly nowadays. So, I try not to look at them. Most girls respond to that by covering up. Others respond by just going about their business. However, a few respond to it by trying even harder and some of those seem resentful or at least no more caring than a fisherman would be towards a fish. Girls like that I prefer to stay away from, but sometimes I get "trapped." What do you think motivates them and how do you deal with it?

In my experience, young women deliver themselves over to immodesty and unchastity because they lacked a strong father in their childhood, and had no supernatural religion (wherein our Lord is the Heavenly Father): either they grew up in broken homes with no father, or had negligent, abusive, weak or otherwise defective fathers; having no other male role model to be a surrogate father figure, or neglecting the faith that might have compensated for such a defect.

A wise and strong father is indispensable for a young girl as reference by which to measure her relations with boys and later with men, as she is given an exemplar of true masculinity in such a father, which she is to expect from a potential suitor. Having this true notion of Christian manliness will form in her a sense of respect and decorum that will make her conscious of the necessity of modesty not only in dress but also in bearing and behavior.

In the present day, these girls are poisoned with naturalism and materialism, and so they deal with men as if they had no supernatural end for which to strive (i.e., holy grace in this life, and eternal glory in Heaven), giving themselves over to the worldly standards of the age.

How is one to deal with such women? As other have said, to avoid them: and, also, to learn the terrible lesson of the responsibilities to which one would have to be faithful as a husband and father (if one is indeed called unto Sacred Matrimony), so that one would not raise a daughter as disgraceful as the women who willingly endeavor to tempt and vex us.

Roland Deschain · « **Reply #21 on:** March 10, 2012, 10:44:51 PM »

Quote from: Raoul76

Some gems here from Tele, but I'm used to hearing him say intelligent things before once again trying to draw you into his extremes:

Quote
True chivalry is the gracious behavior of men who refrain from exercising the advantages that their real power gives them out of genuine altruism. It's not posing as a knightly guardian of women out of a supplicating desire to please them.

Quote

What is called chivalry today is not a knightly code of honor but rather a naive and boyish bashfulness that is at once insisted on as a kind of tribute while being inwardly despised.

It's all true. The only part I take issue with is talking about a true and false chivalry. The whole code of chivalry itself is part of an incipient feminism; it's part of women's desire to be worshiped. Courtly love and all that was clearly a harbinger of what we see today. Chivalry was a subtle replacement of true obedience and virtue with a more worldly set of values, that looks the same to the untrained eye but really isn't.

The romantic idealist, the Roland headed for the cliffs of destruction, worries about chivalry. A Catholic husband should pattern himself after St. Joseph, not some kind of lovesick fool medieval knight who goes out and fights in a Crusade so that a woman might give him a lock of her hair -- men who did this replaced Christ with a mere creature. Back then just like now, it was the devil who was influencing people through fantasy literature.

It's interesting to read the story of St. Ignatius, who started out as just this kind of Don Quixote, obsessed with all the codes and behavior patterns that go along with it. He told the story of how he used to pay court to a certain woman who was the "belle dame sans merci" type, who always kept him at arm's length and was cold and forbidding. He realized eventually that he felt miserable whenever he was thinking of this woman, and felt exalted whenever he thought of God. This was one of his revelations that made him what he eventually became.

All I do is mention the fact that maybe if men were better men then this wouldn't be as much of an issue, not excusing the women who do it, and my manhood is called into question and I'm likened to a lovesick fool :roll-laugh1:

You guys are a hoot.

Roland Deschain · « **Reply #22 on:** March 10, 2012, 10:46:36 PM »

Quote from: Telesphorus

Quote from: Marcelino
One thing I noticed was that a girl who acts like this, in a group that is all male, ends up in a powerful position and can even, if allowed to by a more socially powerful male, control the group, provided of course, that the men in the group play the sucker (after all, she's just a fantasy for most, if not all of them and for the poor slob who ends up with her, he'll spend his time with her tortured by constant feelings of jealousy, because of real, albeit "internal" and perhaps not "external," infidelity to him)

Another thing I've noticed, is that a girl who does this has the power to "stun" most males, thereby throwing them off balance and leaving them mixed up for a moment or two. There's no way a male can perform at his peak under that influence. He's too dazed and confused, particularly if he keeps going back for more

The thing to remember is that a young man who still reacts strongly to such things has to keep in mind that his stock is going up, and hers are going down. Achieving self-mastery, avoiding a preoccupation with women in youth will allow you to attract a woman who is better than you ever thought possible when you get older. Indeed you'll think you were crazy for liking the girls you did at that age.

A man's value relative to women will go up hugely if he practices virtue. Even to intermittently or to a slim degree he will see his stock go way up.

Pursuit of women should be on your own terms, when you're in a good enough position, they need to prove their worthiness, you need to prove nothing.

The worst possible thing to do (I of all people should know) is to be grateful and smitten by feminine attention. Or to be afraid of losing it.

Wow. You sound like the kind of guy any woman would be lucky to call her husband.

.....but I'm guessing you are probably not married.

Maizar · « **Reply #23 on:** March 10, 2012, 11:03:50 PM »

It's not entirely the girls' fault. See the following xkcd comic, which nicely explains the neologism "negging". I apologize for the cuss word. Do not read this comic if you are likely to be offended by one cuss word.

The mass media in particular is the "negging" influence on young women, who are driven to dressing immodestly out of feelings of inadequacy. Indeed, from a purely animal point of view, attracting the better mate is ironically associated with trying less, not more.

Telesphorus · « **Reply #24 on:** March 11, 2012, 07:08:51 AM »

Quote from: Roland Deschain

All I do is mention the fact that maybe if men were better men then this wouldn't be as much of an issue, not excusing the women who do it, and my manhood is called into question and I'm likened to a lovesick fool :roll-laugh1:

You guys are a hoot.

You try to pass off female behavior as a male responsibility, just as is done about abortion, single-motherhood, female promiscuity, etc.

It's called "white knighting" - and it's morally unacceptable. Women don't act that way because men as a class make them. They act that way because other men let them. And those that let them give them the excuse that they act that way because "men" "objectify" them.

Roland Deschain · « **Reply #25 on:** March 11, 2012, 07:30:18 AM »

Quote from: Telesphorus

Quote from: Roland Deschain
All I do is mention the fact that maybe if men were better men then this wouldn't be as much of an issue, not excusing the women who do it, and my manhood is called into question and I'm likened to a lovesick fool :roll-laugh1:

You guys are a hoot.

You try to pass off female behavior as a male responsibility, just as is done about abortion, single-motherhood, female promiscuity, etc.

It's called "white knighting" - and it's morally unacceptable. Women don't act that way because men as a class make them. They act that way because other men let them. And those that let them give them the excuse that they act that way because "men" "objectify" them.

That is not what I said. You read too much into my statement, I believe. I am simply pointing out that there may be several contributing factors to explain the modern phenomenon of women dressing like prostitutes. Childish, sex driven modern male attitudes being one of these factors. The main contributor being, as I stated at the outset, is female vanity.

I am far from a feminized male.

Telesphorus · « **Reply #26 on:** March 11, 2012, 08:06:14 AM »

Quote from: Roland Deschain

maybe if men were better men then this wouldn't be as much of an issue

i.e. - you're blaming female immodesty on men as a class. If "men were better men"

Quote

That is not what I said. You read too much into my statement, I believe.

No, it's always the same pattern with a certain kind of church-going conservative. Whenever the wretched behavior of modern women is brought up, the responsibility is pawned off as men as a class. Like wallflower saying men are not the victims of feminism because she claims they're collectively responsible for it. She blames men for behavior that is under the control of women. "Man up" - as they say, "lead" and feminist women won't act like tramps and harpies. It's dangerous nonsense.

Quote

I am simply pointing out that there may be several contributing factors to explain the modern phenomenon of women dressing like prostitutes.

No, you said very clearly: "If men were better men this wouldn't be as much as an issue" - you you're blaming it on men "objectifying" women, when it's women who are objectifying themselves.

Quote

Childish, sex driven modern male attitudes being one of these factors. The main contributor being, as I stated at the outset, is female vanity.

I am far from a feminized male.

Whatever you are is not the point, it's the attitude expressed in your comments. It's women who choose the sort of men they want to try to attract.

Telesphorus · « **Reply #27 on:** March 11, 2012, 08:19:53 AM »

At the bottom of all this is this taunt:

"If you were a real man you wouldn't have to worry about feminism. It's your personal responsibility as a man, you're a not a victim of a feminist society"

This is of course bullshit. It is an excuse for all manner of feminine crimes, and women and the men who pander to them have endless variations of repeating it.

The one thing the men who repeat it can't and won't do is to hold women in their churches and families accountable for their way of dealing with the opposite sex.

The first stage in really "manning up" - so to speak - is to hold such men accountable.

Maizar · « **Reply #28 on:** March 11, 2012, 08:27:04 AM »

Roughly speaking, if women are unhappy with the men of this world, they have mothers to blame. Boys learn how to behave from mothers. They learn how to compete from fathers.

If men are not happy with the women of this world, they have fathers to blame. Girls learn what to expect from a man from their fathers, and they learn how to manage life (or how to survive a bad husband) and run a family from their mothers.

This can be observed, better than anywhere else, in the children of the slums, where the generational traits of criminality, alcoholism and sɛҳuąƖ depravity are perpetuated. It is no less true in the middle classes, however.

s2srea · « **Reply #29 on:** March 11, 2012, 09:54:04 AM »

This is a difficult subject. I think that both men and women, as a class, are to blame, for the way men and women act. Of course, much of this is the responsibility of the generation(s) before us; the women of that generation have given in so much to feminism entirely; they've 'liberated' themselves, they think, from man. But man has mostly stood by their side and has supported them in the western world.

If he rejected this reversal of the natural order, that women brought about, we would not have feminism as we have it today. I think there have always been evildoers who have supported a form of feminism. But the fact that men after WWII were not the same men (as a friend once put it), and women were not the same women, as a whole, together, they've failed.

We're all affected with some sort of feminism before turning to tradition. But we need to be careful not to come too far in the other direction in correcting our mentality. Seeking endless blame to one or another sex is useless, and destructive. We should focus on ourselves, ensure we reject any notion of feminism and feminist attitudes, and this begins with learning what it is and isn't, and move on with life. Placing too much attention on who's to blame really doesn't help.