It seems to me that mothers are largely responsible for how their
sons learn to control or cope with their anger. When I have known
grown men to whine or fuss or complain, I have found that their
mothers are prone to give them comforting attention to 'calm them
down.' Then they grow up thinking that throwing a tantrum is a
way to get what they want. They might not even be aware
they're doing it, because it comes naturally to them.
So too with anger. I knew a man who went into fits of rage when
some simple thing didn't go his way. He would place his feet apart
about 36 inches, bend his knees, put his hands on his knees,
hyperventilate, and start ROARING.
I think the cartoonist who draws Dilbert (Scott Adams) must have
known him! (Maybe he knows a close relative?)
There is no way he never did that as a child. This was quite
repulsive to see. A video of that would be enough to make any
woman lose interest in him in two seconds.
Another man, who was a concrete coring man, when the machines
didn't work to his expectations, would throw down an expensive
diamond blade on the ground and stomp on it. What does he
expect to accomplish? Certainly any woman who sees that would
have an entirely different outlook on him.
I don't think that anger itself is such a bad thing, but rather what a
man chooses to do with it is what is important. It can be a great
motivator, but out of control it is quite unseemly.
I know a trad priest who preaches that hatred or anger, and murder
are the same thing, and that anger is forbidden by the 5th
Commandment, for when one communicates anger to someone, it
is the same thing as killing love, and since God is love, well, you
get the picture?