When I first converted to Catholicism 13 years ago, I spent much time reading and learning everything I could about the Faith.  I talked to everyone I knew, sent emails of pertinent articles etc about the Faith.  I was very zealous and very concerned about the condition of their souls.

Well, years and years later ... my father committed ѕυιcιdє. May God forgive him. And that began a period of deep reflection and of observation that I didn't think I'd done a good job in communicating the Faith, i.e., the love of Jesus and my love for him .. or anyone else in my family.  I began to realize that it was my pride instead which had compelled me to push at people endlessly to give up their sinful lives and become or return to Catholicism.

But now I am at a place where it's been years since I've actively been trying to communicate the Faith and yet I am aware of family members just sitting their in complete ignorance or outright defiance of what Jesus has taught us and that it's the Catholic Church which He founded for our salvation.  I am very worried about their ultimate end and I don't know now how to communicate this effectively to them.

There are several apostate Catholics, and then there's my grandmother who is a casual Orthodox, meaning that she belongs to the Orthodox Church and always has but it's because it's her family identity, her culture more than anything else.

I asked her to pray for another family member who is "not a man of faith" the other day and she said, "Oh, but he's good, he'll be fine." This was about my other grandfather (my father's father ...My Orthodox grandmother is widowed).

My grandfather is an atheist. I hate to say that, but it's true. . He does not believe in God.  His son, my father, committed ѕυιcιdє a couple of months after my grandmother died.  A year and a half later his other son died, I think due to a drug overdose.

I love these two people dearly.  They have always been there for me and I have many fond memories of how they treated me when I was a child.  

But I do not know how to talk to them about God.  I don't know how to communicate the Faith to their particular problems: schismatic and atheist.

What am I required to do? Or is there a book for each issue that I could send to them?  I do not have confidence in talking to them directly about this and I don't know what to do.

I think we all, everyone of us, can post a story such as you just posted.

Sometime it's best not to say anything, after you said it a few times.  I realize  to tell you to pray is not what you want to hear, you feel like you must do something else.  Yet, we are all being tested right now, and pray you must!

When you pray you must have confidence that your prayers will be heard, and pray to the Eternal Father, to offer the Precious Blood of His Son for the conversion of your loved ones.   He will hear your prayer.  

When I first converted to Catholicism 13 years ago, I spent much time reading and learning everything I could about the Faith.  I talked to everyone I knew, sent emails of pertinent articles etc about the Faith.  I was very zealous and very concerned about the condition of their souls.

Well, years and years later ... my father committed ѕυιcιdє. May God forgive him. And that began a period of deep reflection and of observation that I didn't think I'd done a good job in communicating the Faith, i.e., the love of Jesus and my love for him .. or anyone else in my family.  I began to realize that it was my pride instead which had compelled me to push at people endlessly to give up their sinful lives and become or return to Catholicism.

But now I am at a place where it's been years since I've actively been trying to communicate the Faith and yet I am aware of family members just sitting their in complete ignorance or outright defiance of what Jesus has taught us and that it's the Catholic Church which He founded for our salvation.  I am very worried about their ultimate end and I don't know now how to communicate this effectively to them.

There are several apostate Catholics, and then there's my grandmother who is a casual Orthodox, meaning that she belongs to the Orthodox Church and always has but it's because it's her family identity, her culture more than anything else.

I asked her to pray for another family member who is "not a man of faith" the other day and she said, "Oh, but he's good, he'll be fine." This was about my other grandfather (my father's father ...My Orthodox grandmother is widowed).

My grandfather is an atheist. I hate to say that, but it's true. . He does not believe in God.  His son, my father, committed ѕυιcιdє a couple of months after my grandmother died.  A year and a half later his other son died, I think due to a drug overdose.

I love these two people dearly.  They have always been there for me and I have many fond memories of how they treated me when I was a child.  

But I do not know how to talk to them about God.  I don't know how to communicate the Faith to their particular problems: schismatic and atheist.

What am I required to do? Or is there a book for each issue that I could send to them?  I do not have confidence in talking to them directly about this and I don't know what to do.

Dear MrsZ,

I identify with you very much too.  Both my parents were atheist, and disowned me because of my beliefs.  My mother is gone, and my father is still estranged. I've seen family members in terrible tragedies.

Though there "is no salvation outside of the Church," conversion is something that happens deep inside the heart, where we can't see or force anything.  Some people come to God at that last moment.  As a convert of many years, I know that people must hear "from" God rather than only human arguments.  I've seen "apologetics" fail without God's intervention, and I remember one instance in college where a debate with a liberal professor ended with him saying "So there IS a God...  Well, I won't serve Him anyway!" All the debates had made things worse, and I grieve that I had not prayed as I should. With my husband, I decided I would never "debate" (besides, he had attended Harvard). I prayed and spoke kindly as I felt "led" in prayer.  God graciously showed us actual miracles, which helped him find deep devotion once again... By the time he died, I felt I lived with a saint...

Jesus promises,"My sheep (will ) hear My voice."  So, if you love people and pray for them, He will show you what to say.  Most people "smell it" if someone is just trying to "preach at them."  That's how I felt during a time when I'd been deeply betrayed by the Church.  It's when they feel accepted and not looked down on that God often sends something big to show them He's there-  I've seen atheists convert more than once!  The only thing I regret is saying things "to" people w/o backing it up with prayer.  ThanK you for this reminder to keep praying!!

 

Pray for them.

You may also want to consult a priest with the specific means needed - there are various Novenas which may be needed or other methods of sacrifice from you in order to help convert them.

Many years ago when my mom wanted my dad to finally go to confession ( after many years without it) one of the underground priests of our persecuted church told her to go to the Mass daily and receive Communion every day ( which in our church can not be received without Confession first). On the 30th day of here daily Mass my father asked my mom if she knows how and when he can go to Confession. That was still during Soviet Union era.

Thank you all so much.  I realize that this is THE thing for my life, is trusting in God, praying and doing His will. I agree that I was not "forced" into conversion.  I had been going along with my communications with my family and then the other day on the phone, it all came up again ... my grandparents are 90 years old ... and when my grandmother said what she did, it reminded me of where she actually is in regard to understanding things and it scared me.

But you have all reminded me what I have been called to do and I will redouble my efforts in prayer.  God Bless :)

I hope I didn't come off as giving advice, especially that you shouldn't say anything.  I was just remembering that keeping up God's Presence while with others had been key in my own life, and how much I want that back-- it's been hard for me due to grief lately.  If she's bringing up topics like death or God, she probably wants to hear something helpful (it's hard to tell, but God often does tell "ordinary" people like us).

I often used to be in "listening prayer" while visiting relatives or friends.  One time an unbelieving friend was scared because she was being sued by her former boss(a lawyer)!  Concerned, I said something about "asking God to help" in a simple way.  We agreed that she had nothing to lose with this prayer. I couldn't believe my ears when she called shortly after I got home.  She had prayed with all her heart- all the way home, and walked in to hear her phone ring: that boss had his secretary call to say he had just dropped the law-suit.  He had decided suddenly: during the hour we were discussing God over coffee...  That isn't any isolated case!  Things like that happened in front of my husband (I'm so glad he found a strong faith before he died!)  Some music students also said things like that.

So, she went to church on her own after that.  I didn't discuss doctrine because she knew a lot and she was too upset to deal in "apologetics."  I've seen miracles happen like that because God really wants those people who don't know how to believe.  A novena can really help (there's one I'll always treasure), but it doesn't take one to "work miracles" necessarily.  I think you will know what to do in meditation, because you seem to really love and care.  God is more willing to change us than we are. Could we can pray for each-other? Wherever two or three agree, some great changes can happen.  I would be so thrilled to see my Dad and others convert!!

God Bless,
AnneCatherine