Catholic Info
Traditional Catholic Faith => Catholic Living in the Modern World => Topic started by: ca246 on July 01, 2018, 02:59:07 PM
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I am curious to know why it is that a lady today at an SSPX chapel offered me a ride home, but then said she should ask the priest first it was OK for her to do that!
There must be something I am blissfully unaware of...
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Well there's nothing wrong with it if the pair were husband and wife, or brother/sister. Otherwise a man and woman should not be alone in a car
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Yes, it was probably due to the possibility of scandal. St. Pius X would not sit in the same carriage with a woman ... for that reason. When I was a seminarian, I had to give a lady a ride home and she rode in the back seat.
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So what does one do when their supervisor asks them to give them a lift to pick up their car at the mechanic? Hypothetical of course. :)
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So what does one do when their supervisor asks them to give them a lift to pick up their car at the mechanic? Hypothetical of course. :)
It all depends on whether there's any risk of scandal. Could people who know you're married to someone else and yet do not know the purpose for the trip draw some conclusion about it? If the only ones who see you are people who know that you're just dropping him off to get his car, the risk of scandal is minimal. If no one who might see you knows that you're married to someone else, the risk of scandal is minimal. After all, you could just be a couple (married to each other even). If there's a 30-year age difference between the two of you, the risk of scandal is minimal. But let's say I'm a married 35-year-old man riding with a 35-year-old woman and driving past people who know me and my wife, and they don't know why I'm in the car with this woman, i.e., the reason for the trip isn't known or otherwise obvious, the risk of scandal increases, with people wondering "Are they having an affair?" It's just a question of prudence: How likely is it that someone who sees you might conclude that you're having an affair? Also factoring in is how long are you gone? So, even if a woman who worked in my office asked me for a ride, and everyone knew I was just giving her a ride to get her car, it's no big deal ... unless of course I'm gone for 3 hours without explanation. But if I'm back in 15-20 minutes, then no conclusions would be drawn.
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Scandal would definitely be the reason.
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Thanks Lad. I think in this situation it is a quick trip down the road so it is probably ok.
I think things can get a little tricky when it is your boss asking for the lift. In other words, it can be tough saying no ... unless you really have other plans.
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In all seriousness, what ISN'T objectionable about a woman driving one of the opposite gender to Mass?
In any case, you never know what might happen when a woman gets behind a wheel... brace yourselves!
https://youtu.be/PmXAsfeQ_4E (https://youtu.be/PmXAsfeQ_4E)
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Thank you for the explanation but it seems so far-fetched and almost laughable because I'm less than 20 and she is more than 60 years old!
Why would someone even think up such a rumor? I will concur with Mother Angelica on how the world would be much better if everyone minded their own business. It seems to me that the people comitting sin would be the nosy people making outrageously rash judgements and not the ones carpooling to Mass. Especially in a time of such crisis, these are the last things someone should be worried about, and if people are murmuring about Mr.X being in a car with Mrs.Y, they do the work of the devil... preventing the faithful from attending the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass.
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Thank you for the explanation but it seems so far-fetched and almost laughable because I'm less than 20 and she is more than 60 years old!
Why would someone even think up such a rumor? I will concur with Mother Angelica on how the world would be much better if everyone minded their own business. It seems to me that the people comitting sin would be the nosy people making outrageously rash judgements and not the ones carpooling to Mass. Especially in a time of such crisis, these are the last things someone should be worried about, and if people are murmuring about Mr.X being in a car with Mrs.Y, they do the work of the devil... preventing the faithful from attending the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass.
Beware: Old isn't dead.
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Several years ago I read about a parish where a woman gave her priest a ride somewhere. Busy bodies went beserk. One man got so upset he started stalking the priest to try to catch him at something. The police were called and it split the church.
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This can be taken to extremes, guilty consciences, anyone? But yes, there are people, mainly women, but men, too, who look for opportunities to be "scandalized" and spread juicy gossip to their like-minded friends. Innocent souls have had their lives ruined by the dirty minds, itching ears, and flapping jaws of such persons.
One cannot live in a state of constant paranoia over such matters. (Wouldn't the devil love that?) Such situations should be dealt with on a case by case basis. Use prudence, that's all. If there is a person whom you know will gossip or makes rash judgments, who may fall into this sin, make an alternate arrangement, or, better yet, invite her and one other trustworthy person along for the ride!
If you find yourself the victim of someone falsely scandalized and spreading gossip, think about what she's saying and to whom. If the gossip is nothing reasonable persons believe, let it die a natural death. If it is potentially harmful to the innocent, including yourself, follow Our Lord's directions to St. Matthew, chapter 18. Go to the person and correct her. If the situation is too far gone for that, take a friend or two with you. Last resort, go to your priest and let him handle it.
I was once accused of impropriety with two young men 35 and 29 years my junior because I drove them to a BJs store to get food for a conference. The person who spread the rumors was a man---go figure! The reason I drove the young men was because the vehicle designated for the food run was a standard shift and I was the only licensed driver on the premises able to drive it.
It turned out the purpose of the gossip was to mock the young men for being unmanly for not driving a stick! In the meantime, the rumor flew out to other people including the mother of one of the men that I wanted to get cozy with her son! Needless to say, I went to the man, told him what had happened, and demanded he correct the the situation. He refused, so I corrected it myself with the mother, a woman about 10 years my junior. Once she met me, her fears were allayed. I also reported it to the priest who did nothing.
I didn't attend the conference and decided if anyone actually believed the rumors, God could deal with it because I had more important things to do.
In another incident, a gentleman called me to inquire if I would be able to pick up a bishop at the airport and drive him about 50 miles to a hotel. The man's wife had gone into labor for the birth of their 6th child, so he wasn't able to do it. I accepted to do the favor, so took my car to the car wash for a thorough cleaning and next day picked up the bishop, and drove him to his hotel. His Excellency sat diagonally opposite me in the back. I asked for and received his blessing before returning home. End of story. For all anyone knew, I was a merely a hired limo driver.
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I always think it's sad (pathetic, really) how some people NEED others to be wicked, in order to be able to live with themselves. They have to tear others down, so that in their degraded (no doubt sinful) state they will feel relatively "good" or superior.
To them I say: Why don't you rectify your life, go to confession, and live an upright life so that you WON'T have to rejoice in iniquity any longer, but rejoice only in the truth and goodness instead!
St. Paul specifically mentioned this when describing what Charity is.
The saints were always SAD to see a soul in sin, and rejoiced only in goodness and truth.
Busybodies as described by a few posters here are exactly the opposite. They get huge grins, feel better about themselves, and literally rejoice within themselves when they discover that someone is having an affair, for example. Of course, externally they put on a "tsk-tsk" show of it, and pretend to be scandalized. This is the scandal of the Pharisees which is actually sinful in itself.
How demonic!
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I always think it's sad (pathetic, really) how some people NEED others to be wicked, in order to be able to live with themselves. They have to tear others down, so that in their degraded (no doubt sinful) state they will feel relatively "good" or superior.
To them I say: Why don't you rectify your life, go to confession, and live an upright life so that you WON'T have to rejoice in iniquity any longer, but rejoice only in the truth and goodness instead!
St. Paul specifically mentioned this when describing what Charity is.
The saints were always SAD to see a soul in sin, and rejoiced only in goodness and truth.
Busybodies as described by a few posters here are exactly the opposite. They get huge grins, feel better about themselves, and literally rejoice within themselves when they discover that someone is having an affair, for example. Of course, externally they put on a "tsk-tsk" show of it, and pretend to be scandalized. This is the scandal of the Pharisees which is actually sinful in itself.
How demonic!
:applause: I heard about a saint encountering a man who told him he had no hope of saving his soul because he'd been held captive by a demon to a certain sin for 60 years, unable to free himself. The saint, upon hearing this burst into tears and wept upon the sinner's neck. He took the sinner into his abode, for the man had been cast out, provided for his needs, and embarked upon 40 days of prayer, fasting, and other penances. The sinner was released and went on to become a saint himself.
Does anyone know which saint this was? I think he may have been a desert hermit, but not sure.
Regardless, this should be our attitude towards those prone to false scandal and gossip.
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It's tricky -- we should have anger and hatred towards sin, which all the saints had, but only pity for the sinner. Otherwise we're liable to violate Charity and start hating men for whom Christ died and who MIGHT one day glorify God forever in heaven.
In the case of Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, Ted Turner and other scoundrels that would literally take a miracle, but none of these (currently living) souls is condemned yet, as of this writing. So we're not allowed to hate them. We must oppose them and speak out about their errors, public sins, cօռspιʀαcιҽs, and undermine their plans at every opportunity, but we must have the right (Catholic) attitude towards them.
Anyone with the love of God in their soul would feel some pity, even for Hillary Clinton, when she realizes how badly she screwed up and is about to plunge headlong into eternal Hell forever, while she finally realizes that she has a God-shaped hole in her soul (as it were) that will now never be filled, forever -- for as long as God is God. This regret is the worm that dieth not.
That is not something to rejoice about. God would prefer that each soul glorify Him in heaven, rather than glorify His Justice in hell. The life of Jesus Christ (especially His Passion and Death) bears witness to this truth.
"God desireth not the death of the sinner, but that he be converted and live."
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We must avoid all possibility of scandal. Had Irene Garza gone to confession with a friend, she may still be alive today. Yes, priests can be mentally ill, too.
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/john-feit-murder-beauty-queen-texas_us_5a2af935e4b073789f69b431