Author Topic: What family activities should young married couples not yet blessed with (Read 2995 times)

Jacob III · « **on:** November 26, 2012, 02:34:36 PM »

What kind of general activities are good for building a strong marriage?

What kind of things should a couple do before they have children so that family tradition and bonds are strong?

Thanks - :smile:

Catechist99 · « **Reply #1 on:** November 26, 2012, 02:58:22 PM »

Well...if they are already married they should......have babies! To wait is contrary to Sacred Tradition and is a mortal sin.

Taken from the SSPX.org website about using natural means to avoid children until the couple wants them:

Quote

This is the case of those selfish couples who are determined to limit the size of their family from the beginning of their marriage. They are truly married, although their marriage is not pleasing to God, and they will never be able to communicate to their children generosity, the spirit of sacrifice, the love of the Cross, of souls and the Church.

Jacob III · « **Reply #2 on:** November 26, 2012, 03:02:11 PM »

Quote

Well...if they are already married they should......have babies! To wait is contrary to Sacred Tradition and is a mortal sin.

We've been married only 4 months.

As I told a family member, we work on having children "a little bit every day".

What I meant by the question is what can we do now so that the children we will eventually have will have a good Catholic upbringing?

MaterDominici · « **Reply #3 on:** November 26, 2012, 11:21:12 PM »

This is a good time to work on establishing holiday practices that you'd like to be second-nature year after year. Even something as simple as deciding when you'll put up a Christmas tree and how long it will stay after Christmas will streamline things in the future.

Here, we love music and it's hard not to pull out our favorite Christmas hymns right about NOW, but we'll be doing our best to focus on Advent and prioritize prayer and study until Christmas is actually here. If it were just the two of us, we'd probably do both, but with children around it's better to be more deliberate in keeping the season in order.

In general, this period of your marriage is a great time to study your Faith more in-depth. Read some good religious books together and discuss them. If nothing else, a good book on Catholic family life should interest you both. I have We and Our Children: How to Make a Catholic Home from Mary Reed Newland sitting here on my desk -- you two get a copy and read it for me as I seldom find the time to read more than a few pages. :wink:

Matthew · « **Reply #4 on:** November 27, 2012, 12:06:15 AM »

Quote from: Catechist99

Well...if they are already married they should......have babies! To wait is contrary to Sacred Tradition and is a mortal sin.

Taken from the SSPX.org website about using natural means to avoid children until the couple wants them:

Quote
This is the case of those selfish couples who are determined to limit the size of their family from the beginning of their marriage. They are truly married, although their marriage is not pleasing to God, and they will never be able to communicate to their children generosity, the spirit of sacrifice, the love of the Cross, of souls and the Church.

I appreciate your zeal for the truth, but you have to be careful to not come across as that heartless Trad that goes up to people and tells them off ("You're going to hell, you know.") or judges people, even when you might be totally wrong about them and not know what you're talking about.

For example, this post.

You assume they're using NFP or birth control, rather than assuming (as I did) that they were recently married.

You don't always hit the jackpot on the first try, you know. And not everyone has maximum fertility, so even 6 months into a marriage there is no guarantee that any non-contracepting couple will be pregnant. In fact, this becomes more of an issue the older a couple is.

People read about 52 year old women giving birth, and they think mankind has somehow evolved super-fertility in the 21st century. (This is the classic delusion for moderns that use birth control.) The fact is that fertility declines gradually, and at some point dives off a cliff. That point is different for each woman. And mens' fertility declines as well, though the "cliff" is not as certain.

Catechist99 · « **Reply #5 on:** November 27, 2012, 12:30:17 AM »

It's true I interpreted "before" as they were choosing to wait to have children until they were ready.

My apologies!!!

Jacob III · « **Reply #6 on:** November 27, 2012, 08:55:57 AM »

Quote from: Catechist99

It's true I interpreted "before" as they were choosing to wait to have children until they were ready.

My apologies!!!

Apology accepted! :cheers:

Thanks for the good advice Mater and Matthew.

Sigismund · « **Reply #7 on:** November 27, 2012, 08:55:26 PM »

Quote from: Matthew

Quote from: Catechist99
Well...if they are already married they should......have babies! To wait is contrary to Sacred Tradition and is a mortal sin.

Taken from the SSPX.org website about using natural means to avoid children until the couple wants them:

Quote
This is the case of those selfish couples who are determined to limit the size of their family from the beginning of their marriage. They are truly married, although their marriage is not pleasing to God, and they will never be able to communicate to their children generosity, the spirit of sacrifice, the love of the Cross, of souls and the Church.

I appreciate your zeal for the truth, but you have to be careful to not come across as that heartless Trad that goes up to people and tells them off ("You're going to hell, you know.") or judges people, even when you might be totally wrong about them and not know what you're talking about.

For example, this post.

You assume they're using NFP or birth control, rather than assuming (as I did) that they were recently married.

You don't always hit the jackpot on the first try, you know. And not everyone has maximum fertility, so even 6 months into a marriage there is no guarantee that any non-contracepting couple will be pregnant. In fact, this becomes more of an issue the older a couple is.

People read about 52 year old women giving birth, and they think mankind has somehow evolved super-fertility in the 21st century. (This is the classic delusion for moderns that use birth control.) The fact is that fertility declines gradually, and at some point dives off a cliff. That point is different for each woman. And mens' fertility declines as well, though the "cliff" is not as certain.

And some couples will never conceive, even if they never use contraception.

Catechist99 · « **Reply #8 on:** November 27, 2012, 11:14:56 PM »

Sounds like you will be a great daddy since you are making these plans in advance. All blessings in the family flows through the father and yours will be blessed greatly because you have great love.

The best way to love your children is to love their mommy as Christ loves the Church. Sacrificially in addition to romantically. I know you will do that.

Now for the activities.....if you already don't have the habit of praying the daily family Rosary now is the time to start. Once you acquire that habit you'll miss it if you don't do it.

Familiarize yourself with the Catholic Holy Days and begin to incorporate the celebration of feast days especially the Marian feasts.

You might also consider discussing whether you will celebrate your child's birthday or saints day. Some people don't do the birthday but rather the saint's day. Maybe you can do both!

This may be unpopular....develop the habit now of living WITHOUT television.

If you have sons it's imperative that you spend a large amount of time everyday engaging them in "rough" and masculine activities. Even as babies. Bishop Williamson has long been an advocate of fathers spending more time with their sons then the mother does.

:baby:

Nadir · « **Reply #9 on:** November 28, 2012, 12:22:41 AM »

Quote from: Catechist99

You might also consider discussing whether you will celebrate your child's birthday or saints day. Some people don't do the birthday but rather the saint's day. Maybe you can do both!

Also how you will celebrate Christmas. Will you introduce Santa Claus into your family?

Quote from: Catechist99

This may be unpopular....develop the habit now of living WITHOUT television.
:baby:

Very wise words, Catechist! It's absolutely essential to ban the TV if you want to do the right thing by yourselves and your children.

Tiffany · « **Reply #10 on:** November 28, 2012, 06:38:46 AM »

Put the works of mercy in your lifestyle.
Not all but it seems like many children and young adults today are self centered.
I don't know if it's the result of affluence or just the influence of our pagan culture because their parents are often generous people.

When your first baby is born life will become very busy! It will take a planned effort to keep doing things for others, because "tyranny of the urgent" kicks in once you have children. :)

Traditional Guy 20 · « **Reply #11 on:** November 28, 2012, 06:47:27 AM »

As some have already said:

Cut out television and movies, go to Mass together on Sunday (that should be a given anyway), listen to classical music, so to (some) operas, exercise together (although you can and should do sports your wife should not do), know religious instruction to prepare that instruction for your children, if you do not know how to box learn so you can teach your sons how to defend themselves, if you do not know how to shoot a weapon learn that so you can teach your sons for sport, etc.

As some have said already it is good for the father to teach their sons these things along with outdoor activities and learning to work hard at blue-collar work. For daughters it would be good to center their education on preparing them for motherhood of course.

Sigismund · « **Reply #12 on:** November 28, 2012, 09:24:27 PM »

Quote from: Catechist99

Sounds like you will be a great daddy since you are making these plans in advance. All blessings in the family flows through the father and yours will be blessed greatly because you have great love.

The best way to love your children is to love their mommy as Christ loves the Church. Sacrificially in addition to romantically. I know you will do that.

Now for the activities.....if you already don't have the habit of praying the daily family Rosary now is the time to start. Once you acquire that habit you'll miss it if you don't do it.

Familiarize yourself with the Catholic Holy Days and begin to incorporate the celebration of feast days especially the Marian feasts.

You might also consider discussing whether you will celebrate your child's birthday or saints day. Some people don't do the birthday but rather the saint's day. Maybe you can do both!

This may be unpopular....develop the habit now of living WITHOUT television.

If you have sons it's imperative that you spend a large amount of time everyday engaging them in "rough" and masculine activities. Even as babies. Bishop Williamson has long been an advocate of fathers spending more time with their sons then the mother does.

:baby:

Excellent advice, especially about television.

We celebrated both birthdays and saint's days for our kids. Birthdays were just fun. We tried to make saint's days educational and devotional,

We were fortunate enough to have a room in our house to use as a chapel of sorts. When my wife and I first married, We placed a large crucifix and icons of the Sacred and Immaculate Hearts there, along with an icon of St. Joseph. My wife had the idea to place images of our patron saints there too, so we included an Icon of St. Anne and a statue of St. Michael. We included icons or other images for the patron saints of our children as they were born, and for other family members and friends as well.

Sigismund · « **Reply #13 on:** November 28, 2012, 09:27:46 PM »

Quote from: Nadir

Quote from: Catechist99

You might also consider discussing whether you will celebrate your child's birthday or saints day. Some people don't do the birthday but rather the saint's day. Maybe you can do both!

Also how you will celebrate Christmas. Will you introduce Santa Claus into your family?

Quote from: Catechist99

This may be unpopular....develop the habit now of living WITHOUT television.
:baby:

Very wise words, Catechist! It's absolutely essential to ban the TV if you want to do the right thing by yourselves and your children.

I suggest skipping Sana, but make a big deal out of St. Nicholas. Tell your kids the story of his life. We always had the kids put their shoes outside their bedroom door. When they were asleep, I would draw a Byzantine cross on their doors with red chalk and leave some candy by their shoes.

Sigismund · « **Reply #14 on:** November 28, 2012, 09:29:43 PM »

Jacob III ,

Are you Maronite?

I am asking because of your avatar.