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Author Topic: Vocations - realizing too late, etc.  (Read 605 times)

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Offline Matthew

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Vocations - realizing too late, etc.
« on: January 06, 2019, 11:19:20 AM »
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    I’ve always wondered what happens if a husband or wife realizes to Late they were called to priesthood/nun life? That couldn’t be a very good feeling.

    That's why young men and women need to try out a vocation while they're single, unfettered, and have nothing but time.

    And young men need to investigate a vocation even if they feel attracted to women, and confuse that with a calling to the married state. What, do you think priests are a bunch of faggots? I know that sounds harsh, but such is the LOGICAL CONCLUSION of the fallacious arguments of some young men!

    If every man who was attracted to women had a "vocation" to the married life, then only asexuals (defective) and faggots (perverts) would be left to become priests. Ridiculous!

    What's really tragic is when young men stubbornly assert they are called to the married state even though they are in their late 30s or 40s and God hasn't sent them a suitable marriage partner yet! Again, they are just experiencing the attraction to women that every normal, non-damaged, intact, post-puberty male experiences.

    Priests (bishops, etc.) are normal, red-blooded men. But unlike laymen, they make a sacrifice of their lives for God.
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    Offline Stubborn

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    Re: Vocations - realizing too late, etc.
    « Reply #1 on: January 06, 2019, 12:43:27 PM »
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  • That's why young men and women need to try out a vocation while they're single, unfettered, and have nothing but time.
    Fr. Wathen says that as Christ went into the desert and fasted 40 days and nights in preparation for what He was about to undergo, in like manner, he recommends that young people discerning a vocation go on a retreat to help them discern and/or prepare. Makes sense to me.

       
    For a small gain they travel far; for eternal life many will scarcely lift a foot from the ground. - Thomas A Kempis


    Online Maria Regina

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    Re: Vocations - realizing too late, etc.
    « Reply #2 on: January 06, 2019, 01:25:16 PM »
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  • One priest said that entering the Novitiate or Seminary is akin to entering Military Boot Camp.

    A good seminary or novitiate teaches discipline and helps to establish a solid faith, hope, and love.

    However, youth must sincerely strive to live the religious life. There were two girls in the convent with me who left within one week. One 18 year old left immediately the next morning. Her mother was furious because it was a very long drive. This gal was suddenly very homesick for her boyfriend after the nuns explained the practice of making prostrations, which had been described as spiritual push-ups, akin to a military push-up for misdeeds done at the boot camp. She also did not like the practice of cleaning the restrooms or doing kitchen duty, rotational tasks often given to postulants.

    A mother has to deal with dirty diapers and messy milky burps. It takes discipline and genuine love to clean up all those messes. Perhaps if all young ladies had to live in a convent for a year, perhaps as part of their high school graduation requirement, then perhaps they would be better prepared to be a homemaker and a good wife.
    Lord have mercy.

    Offline Matthew

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    Re: Vocations - realizing too late, etc.
    « Reply #3 on: January 06, 2019, 01:38:16 PM »
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  • One 18 year old left immediately the next morning. Her mother was furious because it was a very long drive. This gal was suddenly very homesick for her boyfriend after the nuns explained the practice of making prostrations, which had been described as spiritual push-ups, akin to a military push-up for misdeeds done at the boot camp. She also did not like the practice of cleaning the restrooms or doing kitchen duty, rotational tasks often given to postulants.

    A mother has to deal with dirty diapers and messy milky burps. It takes discipline and genuine love to clean up all those messes. Perhaps if all young ladies had to live in a convent for a year, perhaps as part of their high school graduation requirement, then perhaps they would be better prepared to be a homemaker and a good wife.

    I feel sorry for whatever man ended up marrying that lady. She NOT ONLY was unsuitable for religious life; I bet she made a horrible mother as well. As you point out, it's not just religious sisters who need discipline and the ability to work (defined as "doing that which you'd rather not do")

    So she wants to go with marriage instead because she can't stand cleaning restrooms or kitchen duty? Huh? That woman is in for a rude awakening. And she needs to have humility with her husband too, or she's in for a rocky marriage and/or divorce.

    Show me a young man/woman who left the seminary/convent in the first week because they couldn't handle the humility, discipline, etc. and I'll show you someone that potential spouses should steer clear of!
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    Offline Quid Retribuam Domino

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    Re: Vocations - realizing too late, etc.
    « Reply #4 on: January 06, 2019, 02:10:19 PM »
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  • Fr. Wathen says that as Christ went into the desert and fasted 40 days and nights in preparation for what He was about to undergo, in like manner, he recommends that young people discerning a vocation go on a retreat to help them discern and/or prepare. Makes sense to me.

    Those retreats shouldn't be comfortable, either.

    Retreats are good, but I don't think they're enough for discerning a vocation or combating an adversity or temptation that a man faces or will be facing. It's laudable for a man to go through a self-imposed exile that his state in life allows, up to 40 days, and endure its hardships while focusing entirely on the Lord Jesus Christ. The Lord Jesus Christ's experiences on earth transcends time and space, so man should put himself with the Lord while He was in the desert. It's the only way you will make it through...
    From the woman came the beginning of sin, and by her we all die. ~ Ecclesiasticus 25:33

    International Women's Day is a day we all celebrate Eve's rebellion at the Tree and our plummet into sin.


    Offline Matthew

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    Re: Vocations - realizing too late, etc.
    « Reply #5 on: January 06, 2019, 02:15:33 PM »
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  • Quid,

    It should go without saying that when I speak of "priests" I mean REAL priests... not lavender priests, those in the Lavender Mafia, doubtfully ordained, or those with doubtful Catholicism.

    I'm talking about real Trad priests here. Which is called for, since we're talking about young (Trad) men who have been to Trad chapels, CathInfo, etc. whom I have talked to over the years, and who have said (almost verbatim) the things that I quoted above.
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    Offline forlorn

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    Re: Vocations - realizing too late, etc.
    « Reply #6 on: January 06, 2019, 04:08:47 PM »
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  • What's really tragic is when young men stubbornly assert they are called to the married state even though they are in their late 30s or 40s and God hasn't sent them a suitable marriage partner yet! Again, they are just experiencing the attraction to women that every normal, non-damaged, intact, post-puberty male experiences.
    Conversely however, I think it's also a mistake to think "Oh haven't found a wife, well I guess I'll become a Priest since I'm celibate either way." One should actually feel a calling to the Priesthood, it shouldn't just be a backup plan in case you don't get hitched. 

    Offline Matthew

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    Re: Vocations - realizing too late, etc.
    « Reply #7 on: January 06, 2019, 09:38:25 PM »
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  • Conversely however, I think it's also a mistake to think "Oh haven't found a wife, well I guess I'll become a Priest since I'm celibate either way." One should actually feel a calling to the Priesthood, it shouldn't just be a backup plan in case you don't get hitched.

    Don't tempt people to think this can't be figured out. It's not an impenetrable enigma, nor is it that complicated. 

    A young man just needs to foster a prayer life, live in the state of grace, and always be open to God's will which is manifested in objective reality. Man proposes, God disposes.
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    Offline Mithrandylan

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    Re: Vocations - realizing too late, etc.
    « Reply #8 on: January 06, 2019, 10:45:00 PM »
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  • Vocations are providential.  There's no such thing as "missing" one. 
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    Offline Matthew

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    Re: Vocations - realizing too late, etc.
    « Reply #9 on: January 07, 2019, 08:46:46 AM »
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  • Vocations are providential.  There's no such thing as "missing" one.  

    They can be willfully or mistakenly ignored however. They can also be squashed by an outside force or coercion.

    Of course, in the strict sense, a vocation is the calling of the bishop for the priest to step forward and be ordained. But I'd like that, to a large degree, the man's vocation objectively existed/didn't exist before the actual moment of ordination :)
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    Offline Matthew

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    Re: Vocations - realizing too late, etc.
    « Reply #10 on: January 07, 2019, 08:50:34 AM »
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  • Conversely however, I think it's also a mistake to think "Oh haven't found a wife, well I guess I'll become a Priest since I'm celibate either way." One should actually feel a calling to the Priesthood, it shouldn't just be a backup plan in case you don't get hitched.

    This is also a non-problem. It's not as though just any man (especially a man who still hasn't "found himself" or established himself by age 40) could make it all the way through 6 years at the seminary! There is a certain rigor to the daily routine of spiritual duties, silence, work, and STUDIES. In human terms, there is a minimum IQ necessary to become a priest, and I'm wagering that IQ is something above "the average" IQ.

    Even in today's depressed intellectual environment, seminarians need to learn Latin. They also need to gain a certain baseline mastery of several subjects, including Moral Theology, Ascetical & Mystical Theology, Philosophy, Canon Law, Liturgy, Scripture, Church History, etc. In the good old days, they learned Latin, Greek, and sometimes Hebrew. There were more courses as well, like Scriptural Exegesis, Homiletics, etc.

    They also need to be able to handle stress (Sunday is not a "day of rest" for Trad priests!), deal with many kinds of people, be organized, etc.
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    Offline Mithrandylan

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    Re: Vocations - realizing too late, etc.
    « Reply #11 on: January 07, 2019, 09:12:11 AM »
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  • They can be willfully or mistakenly ignored however. They can also be squashed by an outside force or coercion.

    Of course, in the strict sense, a vocation is the calling of the bishop for the priest to step forward and be ordained. But I'd like that, to a large degree, the man's vocation objectively existed/didn't exist before the actual moment of ordination :)
    .
    Certainly.  Man's free will works in providence, and all men have a grave duty to discern the will of God and pursue it.  I just wanted to respond directly to the OP's idea that they missed their religious vocation.  They didn't.  If they've entered the married vocation, it's because their vocation is marriage rather than religious life.  
    .
    I suppose theoretically they could still have a vocation to the religious life, and if they do, God would arrange it through tragedy. 
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    Offline Matthew

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    Re: Vocations - realizing too late, etc.
    « Reply #12 on: January 07, 2019, 09:17:38 AM »
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    What's really tragic is when young men stubbornly assert they are called to the married state even though they are in their late 30s or 40s and God hasn't sent them a suitable marriage partner yet! Again, they are just experiencing the attraction to women that every normal, non-damaged, intact, post-puberty male experiences.


    Seriously, I can't underline this point enough.

    If a young man was rejected by every seminary or religious house he entered, wouldn't most people conclude that the young man in question DOES NOT in fact have a religious vocation?

    Yet if the same young man was convinced he had a "vocation" (using the broad definition of the term here) to the married life, and he couldn't manage to find (or bring to the altar) a decent Catholic spouse by age 48, no one bats an eye or suggests he made a mistake in assuming that he was meant to be married.
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    Online Maria Regina

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    Re: Vocations - realizing too late, etc.
    « Reply #13 on: January 07, 2019, 09:36:40 AM »
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  • There have been several men, widowers, who in the grief of losing their young wives, realized that God had a wonderful plan for them.

    They sought and were accepted into seminaries and were ultimately ordained to the priesthood.

    In a sense, marriage prepared them for the priesthood, for in being faithful to their wives, they were found to be faithful to their flocks.
    Lord have mercy.

     

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