I believe my son feels as you do.  He is age 49.  I know other men like him and they to told me how they feel.  We are living in Latter times.  The evils of satan, God permitting 100 years, and their time is short.  It is a shame the youth of today can not have the dreams of 1 job, family and such.  Your generation is having purgatory on this earth, before God calls you.  We all suffer and we do with different crosses.

I do believe, leading up to the Church Triumphant, that we will have Victim Souls, those who suffer for the desires of God: maybe praying for souls in purgatory, conversion of many sinners.  Praying for those who can not or do not pray for themselves. Maybe those who are dying by the hands of Islam/Moslem.

 Prayers and your deeds and sufferings are purposeful! St. Gertrude was a victim soul and others.  God was so happy to have their hearts.  This is a love that is a true Love for the Sacred Heart.

I pray and try to speak to our son on this matter, but I am sure he thinks, Oh, Mom, you don't understand.  I am sure he is right for it is true, I am not walking a mile in his moccasins.

I once was a bus assistant with children, almost vegetables.  I had to trache 2 boys ages 18. I was beaten twice, and another almost drowned twice.  I had a male driver age 35 who asked me, " Why do they remain living in this world"  So, I think, the boys purpose of living.  I answered the bus driver, "because they teach us what real love is.

We don't know what God has in store for us.  We do listen in our hearts for His Will.  Everyday is a different day.  Look to what God desires.  signed Mom

https://sourcebooks.web.fordham.edu/basis/maryegypt.asp

Oh the electronic devices are listening alright

I once prayed to God to send me a female friend because I've never really had one and a video of the story of St. Mary of Egypt popped up in my YouTube feed.  I loved it and it helped me to be okay with not having friends.  I talk to myself maybe 2-4 hrs a day.  I know someone is listening.

Oh my! 😱 are we like…….. incels? Or like some modern monks in a digital desert ?🏜️ 🌵 🐪

Having to start life over at 40 is brutal. Having to start life over at 40 as a Catholic is only a work God can accomplish in you. The mine fields of the world are are increasingly more hard to navigate every day. The minefields that have become the Catholic faith are as well. If you quote scripture, the wrong one can be interpreted as a dog whistle, if you go to Latin mass your risking your soul, if don’t agree with views outside dogma but are considered traditional your questionable at best. I’m 40, I’ve been around, I’ve seen some things. I’ve navigated the division in polyticks in America, but navigating the division inside the church is new to me and it’s shocking. It’s hard enough to live celibate, it’s hard enough not to hit the bottle, it’s hard enough to love your neighbor but navigating this church culture has become the most difficult aspect of turning my life around. In light of all this the loneliness epidemic is flourishing. I feel it myself time to time. You can get some company online and have some crazy conversations but my generation especially has been deprived of the face to face human to human contact that makes life real. At 40 I’m a poor suitor for any woman. I can barley take care of me and my coonhound. I’ve spent my life building up other people’s lives and fixing their various problems. But this has left me a few problems of my own. For myself I’ve saved nothing. I’ve wrecked my back braking it for other folks. I’ve spent my best years rejecting good woman and living selfishly. Fair enough. I deserve some punishment. But at this point where does someone like me go? Monasticism? Why when the church is in shambles? If the mass is not valid and I have no means to move again I suppose I’ve found myself in the wilderness. I suppose that’s not a terrible place to be. I’ve never thought I’d have to be so stoic. But it is what it is. Even the most simple things have become so complex in these times. Getting advice from elders can lead you so many different ways a man has no choice but to turn to God. Perhaps that is the point in all of this is a call back to what is simple wholesome and true. Religion that is pure before God and undefiled is [color=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8)]to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world."[/color] 
[color=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8)]To love your neighbor as yourself, to be humble, to love God above all things. To study scripture and the church fathers. All these basics that get clouded in the difficult to navigate mine field of modernity. I won’t give up. I’ll do my best to stay vigilant and not cry about my burdens but I do think we have to recognize the uphill battle people are facing at this time and walk back down to get them from our high hill and help carry up the more simple souls who are dealing with these things. Say what we want about Protestants but they are better at evangelizing and meeting people where they are at and we should consider these things. The standards set forth by the real catholic body “ like you guys” are often to high for regular folks although I recognize the standards being proposed by the ape church are becoming too low. There has to be some middle ground. We can’t just leave the average sheep to the wolves. As for me I’ll have to struggle to find purpose in all of this and navigate the best I can. That’s all one can really do. [/color][/font]