Although looks are not always the most important thing, I would prefer that there be a natural feminine beauty in her looks. She must be then attractive in her appearance to me as well as in her soul.
I think your list is fine, as long as you're open to accepting that you can't judge some girls by first appearances (not just beauty, but showing up for Adoration often, and other "appearances" of holiness). I've unfortunately seen men tricked into Marriage (usually due to insufficient time courting), and have heard the "but she was at Mass daily" wails of sorrow, and the "but she never raised her voice during our 3 month courtship" thing, and seen the looks of misery on entire family's faces (of course we pray for such families). Looks WILL fade, but not if you see your wife in the light of the Church. Truths WILL come out, so if she's a Modernist trying to make a good show to land a husband (you'd be surprised), or who has a sordid past, well, really the only thing that will tell you these things is time spent courting. I personally think long courtships can be very good, especially if the girl is under 20.
I'd suggest that some of the best wives I've seen grow up from youth were hearty girls who (around men) might have seemed cold, distant, and uninviting; but who, after marriage, have had beautiful bursts of personality (especially after motherhood), are great hostesses, and are very supportive of their husbands. A young woman strong in the Faith might seem headstrong, which might read "feminist," but if a girl doesn't
seem headstrong, might she not let ANYONE be her head? (Before Marriage, it is her father and the Church who is her head, so it's appropriate for her to be quite cold to men.)
I would desire that our children would also be homeschooled or sent to a school that would not endanger their Catholic faith.
Are you a convert? I ask because I've never known what you'd call a "weak-willed" Catholic mother. A strong Catholic woman is not someone that the world is going to want to tangle with more than once. Oh, she'll smile and offer food to everyone, and she'll smile as she explains the way things are going to work to pagans. I don't think you'll have to worry about the world getting to your children; your wife will have this covered. She'll even ensure your priest stays in check. With great joy.
I would like that my wife and I could be able to have mutual, long, and cordial conversations about both serious and entertaining matters.
No really, that's so sweet. Yes, you may look forward to that in a time called "courtship", then again in a time called "retirement", if you haven't killed each other by then, which by the grace of God you will have refrained from doing, and merely will have called the priest (or exorcist) on each other. —I jest.
The problem with the long, flowing, and cordial conversation you'll enjoy during your courtship suggests that, after Marriage, you will have time to sit. Get that thought right on out of your head. Indeed, you will pray avidly for a moment to sleep
. That's why we gave in to the "family bed" thing; I wouldn't have seen my husband for years were it not for sleeping the breastfeeding babies in the bed between us. It's actually very nice. (Until another child screams to high Heaven from the opposite side of the house, but ...don't fret about that now.)
You will have a lot of babies God willing+ and your long conversations might be reduced somewhat to the occasional shout across the room to shush Junior's wailing because cute little Mary Maria Grace has started the house on fire with the kindling you spent the day collecting in frigid temperatures, and Junior's fearful yelps are making the dogs rip at your heels as you tend to extinguishing the fire. Then there are the activities, the dinners, family dinners, and a laundry list of THINGS that must be done. Your wife will try to find ways to get your immediate family spending some time together raking the yard, or doing other chores, when more than likely you'll be wondering what you have done, and if priesthood was your calling, and boy wouldn't it be nice if you and the boys could go inside and just kick back and enjoy some football. (All perfectly normal.) But it is during this time in which you may certainly converse while you two rake leaves or whatever the chore is.
You do get some time after Mass to get to know your spouse better, though. I've come to realize that this is what coffee hour is for
: so those of us with children can get a moment with our spouses while the laity gush over the children and teach them Latin phrases and quips. (Which might not always be a phrase or quip you'd want the kiddos to know.)
And I love it. It's grand. Not at ALL how I imagined my life (you get thrown lots of curve balls!) But we're happy. One man in our Church burst in tears audibly a few years ago; we later found out his wife had needed a hysterectomy, and he felt he could finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. (He's one of the ones who could have used some more courtship time with the woman he married, though obviously God blessed them richly with children).