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Traditional Catholic Faith => Catholic Living in the Modern World => Topic started by: Geremia on December 29, 2021, 03:43:13 PM

Title: traits of a good potential wife: ❤️ of poverty, generosity
Post by: Geremia on December 29, 2021, 03:43:13 PM

• Love of poverty
  I read a pre-Vatican II marriage prep book that said to avoid materialistic women like the plague. St. John Chrysostom's description of an ideal, attractive wife (from his On Virginity (https://isidore.co/calibre#panel=book_details&book_id=6549)) emphasizes that she should love poverty:
  Quote from: St. John Chrysostom

  …it is not by beautifying herself, or by living a life of luxury, or by demanding from her husband money, or by being extravagant and lavish that she will be able to win him over. When she removes herself from all present concerns and imprints upon herself the apostolic way of life, when she displays great modesty, decorum, disdain for money and forbearance, then will she be able to capture him. When she says: "If we have food and clothing we have all that we need," [l Tim 6:8 (https://drbo.org/x/d?b=drl&bk=61&ch=6&l=8-#x)] when she practices this philosophy in her actions and, laughing at physical death, calls this life nothing, when she considers along with the prophet every glory of this life to be as the flower of the field, [Isa. 40:6 (http://drbo.org/x/d?b=drl&bk=27&ch=40&l=6-#x)] then she will capture him.

  
  
• Generosity
  Another trait, which I've never seen mentioned in marriage-prep books, is whether a potential wife was raised by contracepting parents. Contraception is the opposite of generosity, and it is difficult for her to learn generosity when her parents themselves practice it. If she's from a big family, that's a sign her parents don't contracept; but among candidates for a potential wife from same-sized families, the ones whose parents don't contracept should be preferred.