CathInfo.com

Quote from: JezusDeKoning

I would hope that the man contributes to house chores, too. Otherwise, he's a spoiled child if he expects his wife to do all the cooking and cleaning.

And... next, I suppose you'll say that the wife is a spoiled brat if she doesn't leave her children alone while she changes the oil in the car, fixes the leaky roof, chops firewood, shovels the sidewalk of snow, fixes the lawnmower...

When my husband is gone, I have to shovel the sidewalk and driveway.  Although my oldest sons usually do it,   But I have had to do it before.  I can change a tire and have done it before because my husband wasn't with me.  Although midway through a man did stop to help.

I have taught my sons to cook and clean.  They can also change babies' diapers.

There is this belief that men aren't supposed to help out with household chores or "women's work," and women aren't supposed to do "men's work."  This is a silly thing.

My grandparents lived on a farm.  My grandmother hunted, chopped wood, killed chickens, fed hogs.  My grandfather could braid my hair, cook, and was really good at cleaning the bathroom.

Being clean and productive around the house isn't delegated to just women.  Being helpful and productive in maintaining a home isn't just delegated to men.

Women are supposed to be help mates to their husbands, not their slaves.  Husbands are not just supposed to go out and work, hunt, and mess things up and then come home and demand attention and affection.  This is not how God made us.

I have seen some really unhappy and abused wives in traditional circles. I have seen women with 10 or 12 children all under age 13 running around completely exhausted and frustrated because her husband won't change a diaper, give a kid a bath, or cook the dinner while she cleans up vomit.  I have seen husbands go to work 10 hours a day and have to come home to shovel the driveway, fix the dryer, fix the leaky sink, and change the tail light bulb before the sun goes down or he can eat his dinner.  

None of this is helpful or necessary.  We are to help each other at all times.  90% of the time, I do all the cleaning, cooking, shopping, and educating the children.  But sometimes I get sick or have to be somewhere else for something important.  The same with my husband.  It's just wrong to let the house go or the kids unfed and dirty because it's not your job.

Men and women are made differently, yes.  And we were made to complement each other.

My husband thinks logically and systematically.  I think more emotionally.  If we didn't consult each other on raising the children, discipline, spending, etc, what a mess our family life would be. I know families right now that are an absolute mess because the husband doesn't listen to the wife and the wife doesn't listen to the husband.  

Married life is a sacrifice for both husbands and wives.  It's not just a place for husbands to be emotionally absent and disconnected because they are focusing on their careers or hobbies.  And it's not a place for the wives to be materially disconnected by focusing on the rearing of the children.

I guess God just blessed me with a husband who is willing to help me when I am frustrated or tired.  I guess God just blessed my husband with a wife who is perfectly willing to chop wood and run the tiller.  I like to help my husband with those tasks, and I like to know that I won't fall apart if he gets sick or dies.  And I'm glad to know that my children will be fed and clean if something happens to me.

As for the girl who is obsessed with you... If she looks up to you and your friend THAT much perhaps God has allowed this for a reason.  Maybe you could do her some good and help her become the sort of woman you might want her to be?  Then, even if it is not meant for you both to be a couple you would have at least helped her for her future husband?  No one is perfect and everyone has their faults. I have friends whose changed and became better Catholics because of their spouses.

She does not look up to us. She wants to control since my friend and I appear meek. She sort of ordered me to go with her to get something her parents' vehicle one time and got mad afterwhile when I would not see her anymore later at the shop her mother did business. I did not like also how she treated her sister and was not very responsive to something I was saying about current events. Another friend did not know who she was at first and could already tell something was off about her. She even tried contacting through my email it seems three times. This problem has been going on for pver six years, and it gets pretty annoying. Recently, after I left the Communion rail, I ended up passing by the pew she was in and just ended up having her in view as I went by and found her staring at me with googly eyes. That kind of thing has happened before. She should be focused on God and not on me during Mass. She was sort of going for my friend the following Sunday by talking with his mother. I wish she would just get the hint that I am not interested in her.