Author Topic: Traditional Catholic Friendship (Read 10621 times)

Ekim · « **on:** August 16, 2014, 06:40:49 PM »

Picking up on comments made on another thread about very few Traditional. Catholic friendships, I thought this would be an interesting topic to explore and so deserved a thread of its own.

In my humble opinion. The reason why there are so few Traditional Catholic friendships is because Trads are very judgemental. They put on facades. They view each other as extremely Catholic or not Catholic enough, ultimately lacking charity. As was said in a previous thread, they have no time or charity for those in the "shade of grey".

Graham · « **Reply #1 on:** August 16, 2014, 07:00:00 PM »

Is it really true that there are few friendships between traditionalists? I guess then that I've been relatively fortunate in forming a few good friendships since my conversion. I wonder sometimes why God favours me with such good friends, men who are more virtuous and naturally gifted than I am, but for some reason like having my company.

Judas Machabeus · « **Reply #2 on:** August 16, 2014, 07:17:47 PM »

A very important Catholic work on friendship is Spiritual Friendship, by St. Aelred of Rievaulx: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0879079703/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0879079703&linkCode=as2&tag=httpwwwchanco-20

Aleah · « **Reply #3 on:** August 16, 2014, 08:09:31 PM »

I guess it depends on what one defines as a friendship. I also think that many people in my parish have a lot of trials taking place in their lives right now and simply can't pursue too much in the way of invited guests to dinner and such.

Personally, I like to couple my time with friends with spiritual and corporal works.

True Faith · « **Reply #4 on:** August 16, 2014, 09:03:33 PM »

I think each friendship has to be judged individually. If someone is "not Catholic enough" they may be a source of sinful companionship, even though they are Catholic. For example, if the "not Catholic enough" person considered French fries with gravy acceptable to eat on Fridays, I may eventually be tempted to do the same thing when we're together in a weak moment. So in that case, if this were a real temptation of mine, perhaps it would be better for me not to be friends with that person. That wouldn't mean I was uncharitable though. The charity of the saints would give counsel to the sinner, not just be kind and affectionate towards them. Our love must be practical; aimed at doing good spiritually as well as materially.

As for the "extreme Catholic?" I think that would be a great choice of friendship! There's no where to go but up!

MaterDominici · « **Reply #5 on:** August 16, 2014, 11:28:17 PM »

Any answer is not sufficient unless you distinguish the sort of friendship.
Individuals? Couples? Families?

As an individual, if you can get past my introverted personality (I'm quite unlikely to be the one to strike up a conversation), I get along just fine with a wide variety and seldom concern myself with exactly how Catholic they are unless they are actively seeking my counsel.

But I'm not an individual anymore. I have children to be concerned about. So, yes, I want to know what sorts of things you let your children do and if a friendship between families will bring about any negative influences. Right now, I'd rather my children have few or no outside friends than have to deal with, "why can't we _____ like the ______'s do?"

BTNYC · « **Reply #6 on:** August 16, 2014, 11:48:19 PM »

Quote from: Judas Machabeus

A very important Catholic work on friendship is Spiritual Friendship, by St. Aelred of Rievaulx: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0879079703/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0879079703&linkCode=as2&tag=httpwwwchanco-20

Saints Aelred, Sebastian, Sergius and Bacchus, intercede on our behalf that the Lord, in His abundant Mercy, might deliver us from the machinations of wicked men who abuse and hijack your names and words in the service of their abominable agenda to normalize that sin against nature which cries to heaven for vengeance. Amen.

Mabel · « **Reply #7 on:** August 17, 2014, 12:45:36 AM »

The problem is mostly with those Catholics who set themselves as the standard and measure others by themselves. These people do not make good friends.

MariaCatherine · « **Reply #8 on:** August 17, 2014, 05:24:59 AM »

Distance is a factor. But another one is that trads often have only religion in common. In my experience, that isn't enough to base a friendship on.

Matthew · « **Reply #9 on:** August 17, 2014, 07:06:00 AM »

Quote from: MariaCatherine

Distance is a factor. But another one is that trads often have only religion in common. In my experience, that isn't enough to base a friendship on.

I see I'm not the only one that realizes this.

I mean, you have suburban or "yuppie" culture families (starbucks, don't use car seats after they "expire", home in the suburbs, order in pizza on Friday night, don't own a gun because they're "dangerous", and in general do everything the way "most people" do) and rednecks (live on land, have livestock, boys often go shirt-free and pee in the yard, hunting and shooting practice, and in general live a much more down to earth lifestyle) and lots of things in between.

You have sports nuts, construction workers, computer guys, and those who argue for or against BoD as their main hobby. Quite a variety there!

Just like in High School, you have jocks and nerds. And the jocks tend to have jocks for children, and the nerds tend to have nerds for children. So the children have the same issues forming friendships. Some boys like to play sports, climb trees, and roughhouse outside. Others like to build with Lego, read novel after novel, play exotic musical instruments, and/or write computer programs.

And let's not understate what a night-and-day difference in lifestyle some things cause:
homeschool vs. sending kids to public school
grown kids vs. having a bunch of little ones at home
no kids or unmarried vs. having a bunch of little ones at home
rich vs. poor
city vs. country* (as long as your lifestyle matches where you live)

Except for being at the same place every Sunday morning, I don't see a lot of similarities among some of the parishioners.

(* I probably grew more stuff when I lived in the city than I do now in the country. Likewise, some rural dwellers live exactly like city folk. So what really matters is lifestyle, not geographic location.)

MariaCatherine · « **Reply #10 on:** August 17, 2014, 09:08:10 AM »

I think ggreg would agree too.

Judas Machabeus · « **Reply #11 on:** August 17, 2014, 10:06:47 AM »

Quote from: BTNYC

Quote from: Judas Machabeus
A very important Catholic work on friendship is Spiritual Friendship, by St. Aelred of Rievaulx: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0879079703/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0879079703&linkCode=as2&tag=httpwwwchanco-20

Saints Aelred, Sebastian, Sergius and Bacchus, intercede on our behalf that the Lord, in His abundant Mercy, might deliver us from the machinations of wicked men who abuse and hijack your names and words in the service of their abominable agenda to normalize that sin against nature which cries to heaven for vengeance. Amen.

Stop it. When I say friendship, I mean friendship. I haven't really been angry with you until now, BTNYC. And I am really angry.

You can say anything you want about me. Don't demean this book. Spiritual friendship offers hope to those called to a life of continence.

The last reviewer of this book on Amazon is Noah Moerbeek, a very pious man who is active on another traditional Catholic forum and who specializes in making Catholic audio available. Read his review.

And STOP engaging in rash judgment. It is a sin.

OHCA · « **Reply #12 on:** August 17, 2014, 10:11:42 AM »

Quote from: BTNYC

Quote from: Judas Machabeus
A very important Catholic work on friendship is Spiritual Friendship, by St. Aelred of Rievaulx: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0879079703/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0879079703&linkCode=as2&tag=httpwwwchanco-20

Saints Aelred, Sebastian, Sergius and Bacchus, intercede on our behalf that the Lord, in His abundant Mercy, might deliver us from the machinations of wicked men who abuse and hijack your names and words in the service of their abominable agenda to normalize that sin against nature which cries to heaven for vengeance. Amen.

I wasn't immediately sure of what your objection to Impy's post was. But after a bit of research I understand--Impy is subtly/not-so-subtly pushing the envelope with regard to SODOMY & PERVERSION again, huh...

I find some of Impy's posts valuable and hopefully CI is a good influence on him. And just as the Church is full of sinners, so, too, I expect CI is. But Impy's PERVERSION PEDDLING should be halted and he should be kept on a very short leash in that regard.

Matthew, I expect you may be aware of what Impy was alluding to. But if not, I'll PM you a link showing the nature of what it is. It's too filthy to post.

Judas Machabeus · « **Reply #13 on:** August 17, 2014, 10:12:58 AM »

Damn it, OHCA, I am alluding to FRIENDSHIP. Deep friendship between two people that helps each remain continent.

This is a classic work by a Cistercian saint and I am not misusing it for any purpose.

I'm done here.

BTNYC · « **Reply #14 on:** August 17, 2014, 11:35:46 AM »

Quote from: Judas Machabeus

Quote from: BTNYC
Quote from: Judas Machabeus
A very important Catholic work on friendship is Spiritual Friendship, by St. Aelred of Rievaulx: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0879079703/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0879079703&linkCode=as2&tag=httpwwwchanco-20

Saints Aelred, Sebastian, Sergius and Bacchus, intercede on our behalf that the Lord, in His abundant Mercy, might deliver us from the machinations of wicked men who abuse and hijack your names and words in the service of their abominable agenda to normalize that sin against nature which cries to heaven for vengeance. Amen.

Stop it. When I say friendship, I mean friendship. I haven't really been angry with you until now, BTNYC. And I am really angry.

You can say anything you want about me. Don't demean this book. Spiritual friendship offers hope to those called to a life of continence.

The last reviewer of this book on Amazon is Noah Moerbeek, a very pious man who is active on another traditional Catholic forum and who specializes in making Catholic audio available. Read his review.

And STOP engaging in rash judgment. It is a sin.

Spare us the histrionics.

I've said nothing about the book. The saints whose intercession I have asked for have been hijacked by the Sodomite lobby - that's certainly not the fault of the saints themselves and I don't believe I gave the impression that it was.

Your past actions and words speak for themselves with respect to your own affiliations and sympathies. They are objective facts and I judge them objectively. That's the extent of my "judgments" - to not let anyone forget that you were the cause of the worst scandal in Traditional Catholic Forum history in the very recent past; that you have yet to make a public retraction of all of your errors; and as such, you are untrustworthy.

That's not rash judgment - that's prudence... Others may not be aware that the aforementioned saints have been hijacked and conscripted into the service of the sod agenda, but I am. Therefore, I urge them - in a spirit of prudential caution - to take this recommendation with a grain of salt - not because of any objection to the book per se, but because of who it is making the recommendation.