Author Topic: Traditional Catholic Friendship (Read 11917 times)

Ekim · « **Reply #90 on:** August 21, 2014, 09:27:27 AM »

No doubt, there are many bad and even evil public schools. Better to have a millstone around your neck than scandalize the little ones. But there are still some good teachers, and good schools. There just is...may God's grace prevail. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.

CathMomof7 · « **Reply #91 on:** August 21, 2014, 11:08:00 AM »

Quote from: MaterDominici

Any answer is not sufficient unless you distinguish the sort of friendship.
Individuals? Couples? Families?

As an individual, if you can get past my introverted personality (I'm quite unlikely to be the one to strike up a conversation), I get along just fine with a wide variety and seldom concern myself with exactly how Catholic they are unless they are actively seeking my counsel.

But I'm not an individual anymore. I have children to be concerned about. So, yes, I want to know what sorts of things you let your children do and if a friendship between families will bring about any negative influences. Right now, I'd rather my children have few or no outside friends than have to deal with, "why can't we _____ like the ______'s do?"

This exactly.

OHCA · « **Reply #92 on:** August 21, 2014, 01:10:49 PM »

Quote from: Ekim

No doubt, there are many bad and even evil public schools. Better to have a millstone around your neck than scandalize the little ones. But there are still some good teachers, and good schools. There just is...may God's grace prevail. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.

I am sure that there are some individual good teachers--even schools with good groups of teachers. But show me even one public school that doesn't do what I pointed out in my last post. Please name me a "good" public school.

Ekim · « **Reply #93 on:** August 21, 2014, 02:28:13 PM »

Seek and you shall find. Not easy my friend, but possible. I spent the last 12 years living in rural areas of the country where there are small community schools that still hold traditional family values, as well as new charter schools that are funded by public tax dollars. They are also doing a good job at changing the direction of public education.

Still, this really has nothing to do with "Friendship". It is used as an excuse not to befriend someone.

Ekim · « **Reply #94 on:** August 21, 2014, 02:32:55 PM »

"Sorry, Johnny you can't because you are a Traditional Catholic and Billy is not (or maybe he is). You're going to meet a lot of people in your life who do things that are not appropriate. Jesus and the Blessed Mother has given you an incredible gift to know things that he doesn't. We have to pray for Billy that someday God gives him the same graces He has given you."

Again, I'm not saying feed your kid to the wolves. No doubt one bad companion can have horrible consequences but socializing and learning interpersonal communication skills are an important part of childhood and adolescent development.

Aleah · « **Reply #95 on:** August 21, 2014, 03:57:08 PM »

I am going to be cordial with everyone, but that doesn't mean I put down my guard with regards to sin and allowing myself, spouse and/or children to lose some part of our innocence just for the sake of friendship. We can lead by example, but we also need to be cautious with our souls.

I just don't understand the point to this thread....

True Faith · « **Reply #96 on:** August 21, 2014, 07:10:22 PM »

Quote from: Aleah

I am going to be cordial with everyone, but that doesn't mean I put down my guard with regards to sin and allowing myself, spouse and/or children to lose some part of our innocence just for the sake of friendship. We can lead by example, but we also need to be cautious with our souls.

I just don't understand the point to this thread....

That's what I was thinking too. What's the point?

OHCA · « **Reply #97 on:** August 21, 2014, 08:06:06 PM »

Ekim,

Tell me where your close-call borderline-calls lie in terms of who you associate with and who you allow your children to associate with. What habits, conduct, language, religion, race, etc., would you not go out and have a beer with? Invite to a meal in your home with your wife and children? Allo your children to visit their house? Spend the night?

Give a detailed example of who you think "trads" typically unjustly "shun."

BTNYC · « **Reply #98 on:** August 22, 2014, 09:39:11 AM »

Quote from: OHCA

Ekim,

Tell me where your close-call borderline-calls lie in terms of who you associate with and who you allow your children to associate with. What habits, conduct, language, religion, race, etc., would you not go out and have a beer with? Invite to a meal in your home with your wife and children? Allo your children to visit their house? Spend the night?

Give a detailed example of who you think "trads" typically unjustly "shun."

Good questions.

To think it took 20 pages of vague, maudlin, sentimental tripe before a reasonable demand for specificity was made.

Here's hoping some answers are forthcoming.

Matthew · « **Reply #99 on:** August 22, 2014, 10:25:16 AM »

Quote from: Ekim

Seek and you shall find. Not easy my friend, but possible. I spent the last 12 years living in rural areas of the country where there are small community schools that still hold traditional family values, as well as new charter schools that are funded by public tax dollars. They are also doing a good job at changing the direction of public education.

Still, this really has nothing to do with "Friendship". It is used as an excuse not to befriend someone.

Here's a thought --

Ekim is the cultural equivalent of a "conservative Catholic".

Allow me to describe one:
He is optimistic (which is just as unrealistic as a pessimist, just in the other direction) and he thinks we can change the Church "one person at a time, from the inside" so he'd typically be a member of his local novus ordo parish or Indult group. He'd associate with all and sundry, never minding how his children are soaking up all the errors of the world and the Novus Ordo from all their not-so-integrally-Catholic Catholic friends. (Note the last part: they're supposed to be Catholic, so you can't even say, "This is what pagans do, honey, but we're Catholic")

Sorry, the problem is much bigger and much deeper than that. A problem of this nature isn't going to be fixed by grass roots action. The rot goes all the way to the top. Until you can convert the cardinals and Pope, you won't get anywhere. Your little grass-roots victories will be mowed down by persecution from on high, and you'll become bitter and give up the Faith at some point.

Humans weren't meant to have infinite patience. The devil knows this. If he can bring you to give up -- even after 10 years of heroic, Pollyanna optimism -- he's happy with it.

A bad Catholic friend is worse than a pagan friend.

Anyhow, replace "Crisis in the Church" with "pagan godless culture" and you have Ekim. He think his individual actions can be stronger or have more influence than the enormous power of video games, movies, and TV that infect the minds of pagans all around him. Good luck!

Even without the plot of evil men to degrade our culture via the TV set, you have to remember that the pagans all around YOUR PAGAN FRIEND outnumber you at least 100 to 1, and they are objectively as messed-up as any random sampling of people in Sodom before the fire & brimstone. Remember that.

Matthew · « **Reply #100 on:** August 22, 2014, 10:32:47 AM »

Our Lord gave us advice here, which refers to how we must detach ourselves from the World as a strategic move for our salvation:

Quote from: Luke chapter 14

[26] If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple. [27] And whosoever doth not carry his cross and come after me, cannot be my disciple. [28] For which of you having a mind to build a tower, doth not first sit down, and reckon the charges that are necessary, whether he have wherewithal to finish it: [29] Lest, after he hath laid the foundation, and is not able to finish it, all that see it begin to mock him, [30] Saying: This man began to build, and was not able to finish.

The mocking onlookers of the unfinished tower represent average people who naturally shun hypocrisy. They see a man calling himself Catholic, laying claim to a higher morality, but his life hasn't been transformed. He lives like everyone else, even though he set out with a goal that was completely otherwise. The would-be tower builder had a foundation to build a tower of sanctity to the heavens, but he didn't have what it took to finish it.

Marlelar · « **Reply #101 on:** August 22, 2014, 12:51:34 PM »

Quote from: MaterDominici

Quote from: Ekim
Many have children when they are young so by the time they are 50 their kids are out of the house, and yet they still have few friends.

You certainly don't sound like a Trad of 30 years. You can't determine the end of your fertility based on when your first child was born. The concept of "having children when you're young" is worldly and not Catholic at all.

Not if you don't get married until you are 33. Not everyone finds a suitable spouse at 22.

Marsha

Marlelar · « **Reply #102 on:** August 22, 2014, 12:57:13 PM »

I've read through this entire thread and I think the nastiness that has been demonstrated more than justifies the opinion of many that fellow "trads" are hard to be friends with because of the prevalence of a "high and mighty" attitude.

Marsha

Ekim · « **Reply #103 on:** August 22, 2014, 01:09:46 PM »

I always find it interesting how people result to false accusations, name calling, and false assumptions when you say something they don't agree with. Even if it's true.

Matthew · « **Reply #104 on:** August 22, 2014, 01:23:17 PM »

Quote from: Ekim

I always find it interesting how people result to false accusations, name calling, and false assumptions when you say something they don't agree with. Even if it's true.

You're the pot calling the kettle black.