I have heard things are sort of like that on the West Coast.

...

It's fairly apparent many areas are becoming increasingly inhospitable to the formation of Catholic families, and the liberalization of the SSPX is not helping at all.

That is right. I'm on the west coast.

I would point out though that (as I was Novus Ordo before discovering tradition) the non-SSPX are typically quite aged as well.

It would depend on neighborhood a bit, but I did 'parish-hop' and I saw *one* single woman of my age (20's at the time) and she was there visiting with her grandmother. I remember she made a point to talk to me when we bumped into each other a couple days later (she recognized me and I could not for the life of me place her until she asked if I attended the local parish). Anyway, she was hopelessly modernist. Catholicism was just a big group hug. Oh, and it had to fit into what she wanted (dress how you want, women work, wait to have kids to 'enjoy life' first, the Church needs to accept contraception, extremely bossy, etc). I spent maybe 20 minutes nodding and smiling and asking a question or two and felt like an animal ready to gnaw off its arm to get out of a trap.

But I digress...

I got extraordinarily lucky with my wife. She was open to tradition and we literally bumped into each other and struck up a conversation. I don't know how a young man in LA could find a trad wife if he wanted to. I recommend prayer. Again, it is what worked for me.

I also struggle to get by living in SoCal and try to afford housing and whatever children God gives us. It would be ideal to move, as California is lost (and will be an awful place to be during the chastisement) and lacks trads, or 'land' to 'get back to' (unless you are wealthy).

The chapels, independent or Society are quite a bit of older folks. Young families are sparse. And when I spot them they are usually travelling and not local. We definitely stick out. People essentially assume I'm wealthy or something because my wife has been pregnant or nursing the last 5 years (and is pregnant again by the way, thanks be to God). I don't have 5 kids, but 3 or more starts to get looks.

It is simply not possible for the average person to raise a large family here without living in a dangerous area or without a highly paid job. Living in a decent naighborhood with 3 or 4 kids is considered a luxury here, not normal.

I would move if I could do it all over again. I still may if job can make it happen.

Someone gives a thumbs down to my factual answer?  What is  your.objection?  You don't agree that I live in a large city in the northeast?  Too bad!  This is where God placed me and where I'll remain until He indicates otherwise.  

Don't worry about it. Someone could have accidentally done it meaning to thumb up (and there is no way to undo such a mistake) or they didn't like the idea that you're single or whatever.

Thumbs up outweigh thumbs down 3:1. Just keep posting, it's not like you'll get put in the penalty box for a certain number.

Quote from: Matthew

There are a TON of single guys on CathInfo. I'll leave it at that.

Its something I notice even IRL. Why is it that young men seem to be more attracted to Tradition? Sure, you see young women, but rarely of their own accord (Normally if they're at mass, its with their parents), and rarely they're not as zealous as the young men are.

Yes, there are exceptions (yadda, yadda, yadda), but generally speaking:

1. Women aren't as repulsed by a sentimental service (like the Novus Ordo) as men.

2. If a women has been taught (and absorbed) any degree of feminism, she will like her roles in the N.O. service (lector, Eucharistic minister, etc.). And keep in mind that the N.O. is highly sentimental and designed for females.

3. Men are more apt to go on a journey into Papal Encyclicals (etc.) and come out "traditional".

4. Women have their own ways how they tend to be converted, but apparently those occasions are harder to come by than the "occasions of conversion" for trad men these days.

And for those one or two people (you know who you are):
Women are different from men. And I'm not talking about superficial differences like "plumbing". If you disagree with that, you might as well leave CathInfo now.


At any rate, the proof is in the pudding. There are less female converts from N.O. to Tradition. At my chapel, as well as CathInfo, the "singles male to female" ratio is almost as bad as local BBSes back in the 1990's!

By the way, the ratio back then was about 15 men for every 1 woman.

I agree women are different than men.

This seems to be why so many men here who are married, have a convert (of some sort(ie, NO or not)) from outside our parish. I know you (Matt), Iuvenalis, PereJoseph (not yet married, but engaged, I think), others and myself are in a similar situation.

I just can't see how a young man can get married today with the difficulty so many are encountering in finding work. How do you support a family without an income (apart from relying on, and trusting in, God's good graces)?

Women are more motivated by emotions and individuals.

Yes. This is why we need men who are studied and learned in the Faith; obviously, this isn't restricted to our times only, but it may be more important than ever before.

This seems to be why so many men here who are married, have a convert (of some sort(ie, NO or not)) from outside our parish. I know you (Matt), Iuvenalis, PereJoseph (not yet married, but engaged, I think), others and myself are in a similar situation.

Actually *I* am the convert, not my wife.

My wife was open to Tradition and family and all that because it was closer to how the faith was practiced in her country than the NO (which she had stopped attending here).

I think it is Tele(") who has pointed out that you had better seek non-American women if you're "playing the odds" on finding a wife who will accept traditional roles-- he is right (as usual).

Someone gives a thumbs down to my factual answer?  What is  your.objection?  You don't agree that I live in a large city in the northeast?  Too bad!  This is where God placed me and where I'll remain until He indicates otherwise.  

Frances,
I gave you a thumbs up to counteract the thumbs down so now you're ahead.  As another poster said, the thumbs down was probably done by accident and maybe the down-thumber didn't even realize the mistake.  I hope you won't let a thumb down discourage you from posting.  

Also, as Iuvenalis pointed out, a down thumb is just 1/3 of a reputation point and a thumb up is a whole point.

Carry on singles. Oh wait, I think it's now mostly married men who are posting here and since I also am married (and old, too), I'll just hop on over to another thread.

Definitely the same thing in the Northeast. I was playing outside today with my nieces and nephews and I was just so happy lying on the warm ground (the snow is almost completely gone!) and looking at the sky, but I started thinking "Oh wow, if God wants me to get married.....then I have NO IDEA how He is going to make it happen.!"  I mean, really, I spend basically every day at home except for 5 hrs of school per week (and my dad waits for me on campus while I am in class......nottt that I would be interested in socializing there anyway). The only men who remotely have my views are years older than me........usually a solid thirty years older......and are catholic in the loosest sense of the word. I agree that gems of girls can be found in the N.O., but I would never look for a husband in the N.O. I definitely don't want to lead my husband in the faith(!) Inspire? Yes. Lead? Definitely Not.
To be perfectly honest, I wish arranged marriages were more common practice! If that were the case, then I would not be expected to 'go out' and 'experience being in my twenties' (also known as: debauch and defile myself more than I already was in my teenage years. No thank you.)  :shocked:

Perfect reply. The only problem is you need independently Catholic minded men and women. The father must not be a follower, even regarding certain Catholic groups. Questioning everything for the sake of his family. This has been the problem for the past 100 years. Go along with the 1st world war, go along with nationalism, secularism, go along with your bishop even though he contradicts 2000 years of Catholic teaching, go along with....

Families need men pre-WWI. Forget all the fads and teachings against the faith since 1910s. The newer science actually is more science than the dogmas of faith vs science. The push in the 1800s was to destroy the faith and thus solid families, through science. We are better off now with the exposure of people with agendas to enslave whole populations. There was an attempt to monopolize science against the faith.

Read the lives of moral saintly independent Catholic men prior to 1900 to know how men should become good fathers.

Arranged marriages are a good because they place families and societies above the competition of the marketplace. As though one's daughter was some commodity, that the highest bidder/con-artist/romancer/charmer/brute/etc should "win". Arranged marriages with responsible independent parents' concern is the continuation of traditions and the line, the linage, the traditions, the faith, morals, customs, values, virtues of their own culture/family are passed on, to prevent the homogenization of their children, simply one of the crowd that will mirror and the seek to be like the masses.

 :alcohol:Sometimes one-size-does not fit-all.  I came to Tradition from 'evangelical' protestantism after 'stumbling upon' the writings of St Eusebius, St Augustine, and the 'summa.'  The Scripture which I'd read and studied for over two decades without understanding regarding the Church and the Sacraments, fell into place.  Then, I 'stumbled upon' Against the Heresies by ABL. --I am female.