Author Topic: Trad. Catholic Singles (Read 18179 times)

Iuvenalis · « **Reply #30 on:** March 19, 2013, 01:34:23 AM »

Quote from: PenitentWoman

sedetrad, thanks for the kind words. I wasn't trying to sound pitiful. I was really just posting on this thread to point out there may be gems in the N.O.

Matthew, I really appreciate your post. It is reassuring to read what you've said. You've made some good points about God understanding that not everyone is a theologian, and you have given me much to think about. Thank you.

*Pray your rosary*

parentsfortruth · « **Reply #31 on:** March 22, 2013, 09:48:32 AM »

Quote from: Matthew

Quote from: Mithrandylan
Try this one? http://sedevacantistsingles.com/

The good news is that if God is calling you to marriage, you'll get married and there won't be anything you can do about it.

I always think it's funny to apply something as academic and specific as "Sedevacantist" to a singles-matching website.

"Oh, I knew he was the one by how he said 'Joseph Ratzinger isn't the pope.'"

or Feeneyite Singles:

"Let's just say we're going to baptize ALL of our future children, within minutes. I don't want any of them burning in Hell because we waited for a priest to do a solemn Baptism."

I heard that Archbishop Lefevbre's mother wouldn't even hold her children until they were baptized. She had them baptized immediately. Confirm/deny?

drivocek · « **Reply #32 on:** March 22, 2013, 12:44:42 PM »

sounds strange . . . a mother's natural affection would demand holding-of-the enfant as soon as possible.

Idk.

Tantum Aude!

drivocek · « **Reply #33 on:** March 22, 2013, 12:48:38 PM »

Quote from: Matthew

Quote from: PenitentWoman

Well it bothers me because there are people in both extremes saying who is or who isn't Catholic.

On one side, some say those who go to the Novus Ordo cannot be Catholic and they question (if not outright deny) the validity of the sacraments they received. So under that premise, I don't even have a Catholic identity yet. [/i]

On the other side, I have been told that sacraments given outside the RCC may be valid, but are not licit, and it is a sin for me to receive them, and I have been further told that sedevacantism is heretical, so I'd be giving up my Catholic identity to hold such a position.

So I can't win. I am made to feel as though I am doing something wrong/sinful either way. I guess that is why I care about divisions. :cry:

It has to be very hard to try to find the right path alone, without a spouse or family member you trust to guide you.

So I would never minimize your difficulties.

That having been said, your situation isn't hopeless.

What you should do is carefully look at the main positions -- a place like CathInfo is probably a good place to start. Find a member whose truthful posts resonate with you -- or who seems to be a sincere poster.

For example, though you might have some people in the Novus Ordo that bash attending the Traditional Mass and sacraments, they also have a cushy place in the modern world, with little suffering. They aren't going against the grain or taking any hits for Christ. If Christ were alive today, would he be living such a comfortable, well-loved, easy life?

As for the specifics of who to trust or believe, you can take consolation in the fact that God isn't going to judge you as a priest or theologian. If you honestly do your best to please God, but maybe you chose the wrong path (objectively speaking), that doesn't mean you're culpable.

Not everyone is a theologian, Church historian, or Canon lawyer. God knows that.

He looks into your heart, and discerns who you're really trying to please. If that is "God" in your case, then you can rest easy.

My old priest told us again and again, "Be honest with yourself; be honest with God." he firmly convinced me that it was the height of foolishness to fool yourself, and even worse to try to fool God.

Excellent posting, M. Matthew

drivocek · « **Reply #34 on:** March 22, 2013, 12:50:04 PM »

I recall catholic singles . . . there were perhaps 3 or 4 traditional catholics.

drivocek · « **Reply #35 on:** March 22, 2013, 12:52:52 PM »

Quote from: eddiearent

Probably not the most ideal but I think my best bet would be to hopefully find a stable Novus Ordo girl and win her over to myself and tradition. I don't see any solutions otherwise. Oh well...

That's like finding an alcoholic husband and hoping to rehabilitate him after marriage . . . lol j/k
Miracles do happen. . . pray.

Tantum Aude!

drivocek · « **Reply #36 on:** March 22, 2013, 12:57:26 PM »

Quote from: ascent

I noticed the quickest way to drive women away from me in the secular, modern world is to bring God into the equation. Every time I invoked Christ, or anything Christian, I immediately noticed the women start to distance themselves from me and no longer have the same level of interest. Mentioning Christ in a conversation with a woman is a good way to see where her true heart lies. This even happened with novus ordite Newchurchers. It's funny how these women always talk about "wanting a good guy, but they don't exist". I'm not saying I'm a good guy, but I do know Christ is PERFECT, and the mere mention of His name drives these women away. I don't even give women the time of day anymore because they're not Catholics. Too bad there are not enough traditional Catholic women out there.

Very few.

Tantum Aude!

Matthew · « **Reply #37 on:** March 22, 2013, 01:19:35 PM »

You're right -- not all Novus Ordo women are equal.

Some of them aren't interested in being Catholic -- they just like the sentimentality, man-centered worship, a religion that doesn't ask much of them, a religion that permits contraception, a religion that gives them a central place during worship services (Eucharistic minister, lector, presentation of the gifts, etc.).

But there are some who HAPPEN to go to the Novus Ordo, but are truly interested in doing the right thing and serving God. If you can find one of these, you're in business.

The former group would be hostile to Tradition, the latter probably would not be against Tradition.

So it's all about "why are they there" -- on the surface, 100% of them sit in the same pews every week. But if you look deeper, their motivations are decidedly different.

Just like the parishioners at any SSPX chapel 2 years ago. Some were there to serve God (many of these joined the Resistance when that became necessary), others were there because the Mass was close by, they liked the TLM, they were looking for a spouse, or a hundred other reasons.

These different reasons become apparent when you have a major change or crisis.

Capt McQuigg · « **Reply #38 on:** March 22, 2013, 02:09:25 PM »

Quote from: PenitentWoman

...I was really just posting on this thread to point out there may be gems in the N.O.

This is absolutely true and like gems in real life, we should pray that miners can get to work with their picks and axes and remove those precious gems from the darkness of the underground.

Cato · « **Reply #39 on:** March 25, 2013, 01:36:01 AM »

Aren't there any single women at your parish? Talk to people; I'm sure you'll find someone or be referred to someone.

Frances · « **Reply #40 on:** April 09, 2013, 04:30:39 PM »

There are very few singles at my chapel,(SSPX), and not even one (except me) at the slowly coalescing Resistance Chapel. By singles, I'm referring to marriagable adults between 18 and 40. The average Sunday attendance at the SSPX is around 300. There are many married people in this age group, most with a fair number of children. There are plenty of seniors and a smattering of widows/widowers who could possibly marry, but have not done so. The chapel has maintained the same numbers since its foundation in 1983. This is not good. What it means is no substantial growth in 30 years. Where are the singles? Not at Mass. Those raised in the chapel either fall away (most typically), or they return only after the fact of marriage and a baby whom Grandma and Grandpa want baptized. A very few of these stick around long enough for the first child's First Holy Communion.

Adding to the problem is the cost of living. Unless one or both is from a wealthy family or is "set-up," a young couple cannot afford to live in the area which is rapidly "gentrifying." The few weddings I've attended are usually followed by the couple moving far away once children arrive. So the families end up split by geography; the young couples and children see Grandma and Grandpa at Christmas and Easter; the parents and children go it alone without benefit of their elders' advice.
The few singles who remain are often left at the fringe of parish social life. Organized activities are for the school-aged, the elderly, or for couples. A priest attempted last summer to have a conference for single adults up through age 30 or 35. He cancelled it due to lack of interest. As a single myself, I can attest to the fact that there is not one man at church that I could marry. The handful of single men in my age range are, to put it gently, mentally challenged. No single wants to be the "fifth-wheel" at couples' dinners, so the very few single adults are those who come for the Mass and the Sacraments and socialize elsewhere.
Unlike many, I've always been content to live "single-in-the-world," but I can appreciate the frustration experienced by those who long for the married life and cannot find anyone to date, much less marry. It is a serious problem in Tradition. Of course, if Bishop Williamson is correct about WW III/Chastisement coming in 5-15 years, it is not advisable to marry and start a family. But if he's wrong, a possibility to which he readily admits, the future of the Faith depends on SOME people marrying. Any suggestions, readers?

Telesphorus · « **Reply #41 on:** April 09, 2013, 04:38:30 PM »

I have heard things are sort of like that on the West Coast.

There are many marriages around here, although a large percentage are related to a certain extended family.

It's fairly apparent many areas are becoming increasingly inhospitable to the formation of Catholic families, and the liberalization of the SSPX is not helping at all.

Are you in the US?

lauraelizabeth · « **Reply #42 on:** April 09, 2013, 05:53:05 PM »

Definitely the same thing in the Northeast. I was playing outside today with my nieces and nephews and I was just so happy lying on the warm ground (the snow is almost completely gone!) and looking at the sky, but I started thinking "Oh wow, if God wants me to get married.....then I have NO IDEA how He is going to make it happen.!" I mean, really, I spend basically every day at home except for 5 hrs of school per week (and my dad waits for me on campus while I am in class......nottt that I would be interested in socializing there anyway). The only men who remotely have my views are years older than me........usually a solid thirty years older......and are catholic in the loosest sense of the word. I agree that gems of girls can be found in the N.O., but I would never look for a husband in the N.O. I definitely don't want to lead my husband in the faith(!) Inspire? Yes. Lead? Definitely Not.
To be perfectly honest, I wish arranged marriages were more common practice! If that were the case, then I would not be expected to 'go out' and 'experience being in my twenties' (also known as: debauch and defile myself more than I already was in my teenage years. No thank you.) :shocked:

Frances · « **Reply #43 on:** April 09, 2013, 09:31:14 PM »

I'm in a large city in the Northeastern U.S. (Please, do not take my post as a recommendation for your future. Mine is a unique situation.)

Matthew · « **Reply #44 on:** April 09, 2013, 09:38:24 PM »

There are a TON of single guys on CathInfo. I'll leave it at that.