Catholic Info
Traditional Catholic Faith => Catholic Living in the Modern World => Topic started by: Matthew on January 25, 2026, 12:54:47 AM
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I notice that most people on CathInfo and elsewhere take their personal experience -- a sample size in the low single digits -- and attempt to draw useful generalizations from it.
The problem is, those generalizations end up being utter trash, about 99 times out of 100. The sample size that formed the generalization (or "big picture") is so small, the "pattern" drawn from it is inaccurate and false.
It would be like noting two Seguin, TX homeschool moms named Amanda like Dr. Pepper, and trying to draw some kind of generalization out of that.
Chances are, it was just a coincidence and there could be another town with 5 Amandas that all hate Dr. Pepper.
The cartoon of 5 blind people trying to describe an elephant comes to mind.
Here's my point: the subject of modern dating IN GENERAL is far better docuмented, and the patterns/generalizations hold up MUCH better. TikTok, Instagram, and other social media are populated by millions of modern women. EVEN IF some of the videos are "outliers" in terms of being extreme (greed, entitlement, insanity, etc.) the fact is that A) hundreds of thousands of women watch these videos, and are influenced by them, B) they get TONS of likes and shares, and C) A lot of these insane "outliers" get defended by many/most of the women in the comments sections.
So, long story short, with all the public videos available -- from men and women -- telling their (horror) stories of modern dating, a lot of accurate generalizations can be formed. Unfortunately, you can't project most of this onto the Traditional Catholic world, because a lot of it doesn't apply.
So we're going to need a more rigorous, scientific study -- or AT LEAST a much larger sample size -- of what's really going on in the Traditional Catholic world with regards to dating (courtship). Maybe some kind of poll/survey, someone driving across the country like an old school investigative news reporter. Like Matt Walsh did when he put together his movie "What is a Woman?". Something along those lines.
P.S. The topic of Trad Catholic dating in current year is especially difficult, because many who are interested in human nature, the world, psychology, social issues, current events, the Traditional Movement and its future (all of which describe me) can't really "keep up with" what's going on in that particular field -- because married men & women can't sign up for the latest dating sites. For obvious reasons! But it's not like a married man in his 40's or 50's is likely to have many friends who are single in their teens and 20's. At least not close enough "friends" to hear all the details of the adventure of trying to find a spouse in the 2020's.
P.P.S. When I say "dating" in this context, of course I mean chaste Catholic courtship. If I wanted to say immorality and/or fornication, I would use those words.
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Here's my point: the subject of modern dating IN GENERAL is far better docuмented, and the patterns/generalizations hold up MUCH better. TikTok, Instagram, and other social media are populated by millions of modern women. EVEN IF some of the videos are "outliers" in terms of being extreme (greed, entitlement, insanity, etc.) the fact is that A) hundreds of thousands of women watch these videos, and are influenced by them, B) they get TONS of likes and shares, and C) A lot of these insane "outliers" get defended by many/most of the women in the comments sections.
So, long story short, with all the public videos available -- from men and women -- telling their (horror) stories of modern dating, a lot of accurate generalizations can be formed. Unfortunately, you can't project most of this onto the Traditional Catholic world, because a lot of it doesn't apply.
Since women are more 'social' than men they are more effected by the 'societal norms' and what everyone else thinks and is doing. This is why so many modern women have unrealistic expectations compared to men, because 'society' is telling them to have said standards and women being the followers follow what they are told. Men on the other hand tend to think more for themselves and most stuff that is told to them is to 'improve', while women are told they are perfect the way they are and if you call them out of their whorish ways you are 'slut shaming. Also women like men who have the "thing" which is whatever standard others tell them, so if 'society' says a man needs to be certain height or make a certain amount of money, or have certain beliefs, if he doesn't have those he will be overlooked as he doesn't fit in with 'society' and women do not like that.
As for trads I can't say much only that I see many girls are overweight and few have tattoos and nose studs. And age gaps may be an issue for some. So there is an impact of modern society even effecting trad girls, it depends on the parents. Feminists tendencies certainly exist but it will be depend on the upbringing. I am sure other men on the forum who have had experience courting or trying to court can speak of and red flags, obstacles or issues they faced.
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I notice that most people on CathInfo and elsewhere take their personal experience -- a sample size in the low single digits -- and attempt to draw useful generalizations from it.
The problem is, those generalizations end up being utter trash, about 99 times out of 100. The sample size that formed the generalization (or "big picture") is so small, the "pattern" drawn from it is inaccurate and false.
It would be like noting two Seguin, TX homeschool moms named Amanda like Dr. Pepper, and trying to draw some kind of generalization out of that.
Chances are, it was just a coincidence and there could be another town with 5 Amandas that all hate Dr. Pepper.
The cartoon of 5 blind people trying to describe an elephant comes to mind.
Here's my point: the subject of modern dating IN GENERAL is far better docuмented, and the patterns/generalizations hold up MUCH better. TikTok, Instagram, and other social media are populated by millions of modern women. EVEN IF some of the videos are "outliers" in terms of being extreme (greed, entitlement, insanity, etc.) the fact is that A) hundreds of thousands of women watch these videos, and are influenced by them, B) they get TONS of likes and shares, and C) A lot of these insane "outliers" get defended by many/most of the women in the comments sections.
So, long story short, with all the public videos available -- from men and women -- telling their (horror) stories of modern dating, a lot of accurate generalizations can be formed. Unfortunately, you can't project most of this onto the Traditional Catholic world, because a lot of it doesn't apply.
So we're going to need a more rigorous, scientific study -- or AT LEAST a much larger sample size -- of what's really going on in the Traditional Catholic world with regards to dating (courtship). Maybe some kind of poll/survey, someone driving across the country like an old school investigative news reporter. Like Matt Walsh did when he put together his movie "What is a Woman?". Something along those lines.
P.S. The topic of Trad Catholic dating in current year is especially difficult, because many who are interested in human nature, the world, psychology, social issues, current events, the Traditional Movement and its future (all of which describe me) can't really "keep up with" what's going on in that particular field -- because married men & women can't sign up for the latest dating sites. For obvious reasons! But it's not like a married man in his 40's or 50's is likely to have many friends who are single in their teens and 20's. At least not close enough "friends" to hear all the details of the adventure of trying to find a spouse in the 2020's.
P.P.S. When I say "dating" in this context, of course I mean chaste Catholic courtship. If I wanted to say immorality and/or fornication, I would use those words.
You’re right, it’s difficult for 40 something married traditional Catholics to know what’s going on in the trad dating scene because we’re not directly involved… until one of our children is old enough to be dating. So perhaps the crew who have newly married adult children know better than us? There’s an issue with both men and women who are completely secular because they just go along with the horrible hook up culture and are completely confused as to why they’re unhappy. As far as trad Catholics go, here in UK the group is quite small (I’m including anyone who attends regularly any traditional Latin Mass and follows the Catholic teachings particularly on abortion and contraception as a trad Catholic) so it’s easier to form connections, especially with social media. Though as parents we can try to put our children in the environment where they’ll meet someone… but they have free will, it’s up to them in the end if they choose wisely 🙏