Author Topic: Trad Catholic courtship - online, who leads, etc. (Read 3680 times)

Matthew · « **on:** January 18, 2013, 07:41:22 PM »

Discuss away!

Kaesekopf · « **Reply #1 on:** January 18, 2013, 07:59:48 PM »

Normally, I would say the man should engage the lady.

However, if you're referring to the thread where people post about themselves and the men respond to the ladies, I find that highly improper and imprudent.

The men are the ones who should put themselves out there and post about themselves publicly. There is no need to expose the young women to needless threats or undue public scrutiny.

In this case, I would say, it is the men who have put the first foot forward, by putting themselves out there, as it were.

Telesphorus · « **Reply #2 on:** January 18, 2013, 08:54:01 PM »

It's not possible to have a good faith discussion on topics like this with the "chivalrous" (ie people with feminist thinking)

Did men have "debutante" balls to "come out" for the world to see if they wanted to get married?

Obviously many of the women here come to this forum interested in men. That's one reason they post here.

I would never in a million years have thought that the paranoids here would be discussing, for example, how they should try to prevent a woman here from getting involved with me, before I even exchanged a message with her.

That was never my purpose in posting on cathinfo, to find a wife.

Catechist99 · « **Reply #3 on:** January 18, 2013, 08:59:03 PM »

Man must pursue woman!!!!

Women make their lovely presence known and wait for the approach.

Telesphorus · « **Reply #4 on:** January 18, 2013, 09:02:57 PM »

Quote from: Catechist99

Women make their lovely presence known and wait for the approach.

That's right. And I've been told by one of the "chivalrous" ones here that a man who lets it be known he's looking for a wife has only himself to blame for the girls at church thinking he's desperate, having the clique leaders shut him out, etc.

Telesphorus · « **Reply #5 on:** January 18, 2013, 09:06:07 PM »

Women make their presence known, so frankly if they don't want to post in a thread then either they don't see it to their advantage to post in such a thread or they prefer to make themselves known in an indirect way.

My presence on this forum is well known enough, if any woman wants to talk to me they'll send me a message. As has happened before. Or they will find a more subtle way to get attention.

Kaesekopf · « **Reply #6 on:** January 18, 2013, 10:07:23 PM »

Debutante balls, of course, held by the wealthiest of a culture. It is no wonder a young lady would be "shown off" there - they wouldn't have to deal with riff raff or commoners. The guest list was limited and well-known.

Online, you have any Tom, Richard, or Jerry becoming privy to a young woman's personal information.

Needless risk, and all.

Telesphorus · « **Reply #7 on:** January 18, 2013, 10:10:29 PM »

Quote from: Kaesekopf

Online, you have any Tom, Richard, or Jerry becoming privy to a young woman's personal information.

It's less information and a smaller audience than would be shown on a facebook account. I don't see any reason why it couldn't be anonymous.

Telesphorus · « **Reply #8 on:** January 18, 2013, 10:45:58 PM »

This is a response to Matthew on the other thread:

Quote from: Matthew

Show me a man who throws a fit about posting a little bit about himself...

and I'll show you a man who doesn't have much/anything to offer a prospective bride.

Everyone needs to read this life-changing article:
http://www.cathinfo.com/catholic.php/Attitude-Ability-and-dealing-with-The-World

I thought you weren't going to argue on this thread. Anyway, my post wasn't about about "throwing a fit about posting a little bit about myself," although sadly it doesn't surprise me that you are playing the part of "white knight" here. It's about setting up bad rules and encouraging bad posts (like Alex's). I've posted plenty about myself on this forum. I didn't realize that it was required that a man advertise as prospective groom here. If no woman wants to post about herself I have no problem with that. I have a problem with getting angry when there's no response to a thread and blaming the men for it.

I don't approve of this:

My name is Alexander, I'm 20, I'm Catholic, and I'm very hot and sexy.

That is debasing and degrading. This site isn't fisheaters.

When dealing with "white knight" trads, they play by these rules:

"Heads I win, tales you lose"

Matthew · « **Reply #9 on:** January 18, 2013, 11:22:36 PM »

I never said you had to post in that thread. It's completely optional.

Telesphorus · « **Reply #10 on:** January 18, 2013, 11:29:16 PM »

Quote from: Matthew

I never said you had to post in that thread. It's completely optional.

Show me a man who throws a fit about posting a little bit about himself...

Then who are you talking about?

I wasn't going to say anything about your rules for the thread until I saw the way the thread could conceivably go:

A collection of all male posts, that tend towards vulgarity and look desperate.

If you weren't asking men to post then how does your comment "throwing a fit about posting about yourself" follow?

I never intended to post in that thread. I thought it might be entertaining to see some women post, but I didn't have any high expecations of them doing so.

JohnGrey · « **Reply #11 on:** January 18, 2013, 11:35:57 PM »

Quote from: Telesphorus

Quote from: Matthew
I never said you had to post in that thread. It's completely optional.

Show me a man who throws a fit about posting a little bit about himself...

Then who are you talking about?

I wasn't going to say anything about your rules for the thread until I saw the way the thread could conceivably go:

A collection of all male posts, that tend towards vulgarity and look desperate.

If you weren't asking men to post then how does your comment "throwing a fit about posting about yourself" follow?

I never intended to post in that thread. I thought it might be entertaining to see some women post, but I didn't have any high expecations of them doing so.

He'll probably deny it but I think it was in response to my post that, considering the type of woman you would probably attract with that kind of undignified slave auction, you'd be better off getting a cat, as at least it's largely self-sufficient.

Matthew · « **Reply #12 on:** January 18, 2013, 11:40:06 PM »

Quote from: Telesphorus

Quote from: Matthew
I never said you had to post in that thread. It's completely optional.

Show me a man who throws a fit about posting a little bit about himself...

Then who are you talking about?

I wasn't going to say anything about your rules for the thread until I saw the way the thread could conceivably go:

A collection of all male posts, that tend towards vulgarity and look desperate.

If you weren't asking men to post then how does your comment "throwing a fit about posting about yourself" follow?

I never intended to post in that thread. I thought it might be entertaining to see some women post, but I didn't have any high expecations of them doing so.

Politely declining to participate is one thing. Throwing a fit is another.

That's what John Grey seemed to be doing. Getting all offended, etc.

Matthew · « **Reply #13 on:** January 18, 2013, 11:41:21 PM »

Quote from: JohnGrey

Quote from: Telesphorus
Quote from: Matthew
I never said you had to post in that thread. It's completely optional.

Show me a man who throws a fit about posting a little bit about himself...

Then who are you talking about?

I wasn't going to say anything about your rules for the thread until I saw the way the thread could conceivably go:

A collection of all male posts, that tend towards vulgarity and look desperate.

If you weren't asking men to post then how does your comment "throwing a fit about posting about yourself" follow?

I never intended to post in that thread. I thought it might be entertaining to see some women post, but I didn't have any high expecations of them doing so.

He'll probably deny it but I think it was in response to my post that, considering the type of woman you would probably attract with that kind of undignified slave auction, you'd be better off getting a cat, as at least it's largely self-sufficient.

What are you implying? That I would speak a lie, or deny the truth? If you decry my truth-telling ability you can get off my forum.

I'm many things, but I'm not a liar.

ServusSpiritusSancti · « **Reply #14 on:** January 18, 2013, 11:41:31 PM »

Considering the fact that there are very few single women that post on this forum, as opposed to the number of single men on this forum, it shouldn't come as any surprise that more men are going to post on that thread.

Mater once said that it seems that there are more single Trad men looking to marry than single Trad women. I'd agree with that, it sure seems that way.

I don't really understand what the big deal is in men posting a little about themselves in hopes of finding a good spouse. It's not that much different than going on a Trad dating website and doing it.