The single life is rarely discussed by Priests who discourse in sermons and spiritual conferences upon the subject of vocations. For one contemplating what direction of life to take, it is usually either to be espoused unto another Catholic, or enter the Religious life, or (if he is a man) to enter Sacred Orders. The single life is almost always set aside as the subject of private discussion between a Spiritual Director and an individual Catholic that finds himself in circuмstances unfavorable to either marriage or the Religious or Sacred Orders. The reasons for this are sound, because the Sacred Matrimony, the Religious life and Sacred Orders ought to be encouraged, according to the dispositions of the individual Catholic and the sound direction of a good [Canonically fit and trained] Father Confessor.

The questions I have are, 1) whether the single life can be contemplated as a legitimate choice for a young person who may have no impediments that forbid such a one to be married or join the Religious life (or, for men, Sacred Orders), and ought therefore to be presented a possible choice of vocation for youngsters; 2) whether the single life may be a vocation only for those who are unable to marry, or enter the Religious life or Sacred Orders; and finally 3) whether it can be said that the single life is not a vocation at all but a certain deficiency or failure, though not necessarily implying fault on the part of the individual person.

I would like your thoughts on the matter.

NOTE: The "single life" discussed here is not the one that world confuses for a life of unrestrained and egocentric licentiousness and apathy, but a life that would absolutely entail perpetual chastity (not necessarily by virtue of a vow, though certainly by virtue of natural law and the Baptismal vows we all have made), and the cultivation of the spiritual life according to the dispositions of each individual, the inspirations of holy grace, and the counsel and tutelage of a good Father Confessor.

I am a 33 year old male and I have not been in a relationship since 1998. I was engaged at the time but when I deployed to Bosnia with the Army, she left me for another man. Ever since then, I told myself that I would never allow myself to go through that torment again. I know that there are decent women in the world who would never do that, but I'm not willing to take a chance.

I've thought about becoming a priest or religious, but 1. I would have to find a way to get rid of my college loan debt and 2. I've only been a Catholic for 2 years and would need more time to discern.

I've not had intercourse since 1998 and since I became a Catholic in 2009, I have been chaste (except for a few moments of weakness).

I'm sharing my experience with you because I don't know which of your categories I would fit into and to point out that I don't think it's that simple to categorize these things.

1. It sounds like you're suggesting that marriage or religious life are the only real choices someone has, and being single is for those that aren't cut out for marriage or religious. I would argue and suggest that being single is as strong as the other two.

2. Same as 1.

3. Definitely don't think it's a because of a deficiency or anything like that, but I'm biased  .

I think that used to happen during the Middle Ages -- man marries woman, they raise a family, kids move away, and in their "empty nest" state they split up and each prepare for death in a monastery/convent in lieu of playing bingo, watching re-runs all day long, and going to Vegas once a year.

I don't know what the requirements are -- I'm sure one's children have to be grown AND able to support themselves.

And I don't know that the man ever became a PRIEST -- probably more like a monk.

Okay, you are a man, so you can be single for a while.  Now, if you are a woman, the older you get, the more unlikely it is that you are going to find a mate.  So, that's something to consider.  As for the religious life, I think that a lot of people go into it with a lot of idealism, and then when they get older, maybe they have regrets due to loss of faith, secularism, modernism within the Church, etc., perhaps even become bitter. Something to at least be aware of.

These things are very true. The book by Rev. Father Dominic Unger on the topic, The Mystery of Love for Single People, focuses in some chapters on how women can find the single life particularly difficult and has some advice for them. This Franciscan author posits that the single life is indeed a vocation, but it is contingent on the preservation of virginity (or penitent chastity).

The Religious life is often idealized as the "land that floweth with milk and honey" (Exod. ch. iii., 8), and it is truly so, but for those who are trained in the Royal Way of the Cross, as St. Louis Marie called it. A very great detachment from self and all other created things is necessary for Religious perfection. But the situation of our present age sometimes makes the stability that is indispensable for the Religious life a luxury that can often be ephemeral (as we have seen in the case of Christ the King Abbey).

I believe it was Pope Pius XI (?) who lauded individual men and women living in the world, who have made a private vow of celibacy in order to serve God more freely.

Pope Pius XII in his Encyclical Letter Sacra virginitas (Acta Apostolicae Sedis, vol. xlvi., pp. 161-191; 25 March 1954) taught that perfect chastity "also flourishes among many who are lay people in the full sense: men and women who are not constituted in a public state of perfection and yet by a private promise or vow completely abstain from marriage and sɛҳuąƖ pleasures, in order to serve their neighbor more freely and be united with God more easily and closely," etiam apud non paucos floret, qui ad laicorum ordinem omnino pertinent; viri enim et mulieres habentur, qui in statu publico perfectionis non constituuntur, et tamen a matrimonio delectationibusque carnis ex proposito vel voto privato se omnino abstinent, ut liberius proximis inserviant et ut facilius arctiusque cuм Deo animum coniungant suum [translation of the Latin text is by the Vatican Polyglot Press].

The resolution to practice chastity according to one's state is the duty of all Catholic. The private vow of chastity of which the Pope speaks ought not to be taken by those committed to the single life without the counsel and tutelage of a canonically fit and trained Father Confessor.

Rev. Father Dominic Unger in his book The Mystery of Love for Single People discusses the single life in light of the Holy Father's Encyclical Letter. The book was originally published by the Franciscan Herald Press in 1958 and has been reprinted by TAN Publications.

Maybe you single guys can start talking to the tons of single Trad girls who are always complaining they can't find a good Catholic man.