Illinois
The Governor of Illinois (a Democrat) is jogging with his dog along a nature trail.
A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor's dog,
then bites the Governor.
The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie "Bambi"
and then realizes he should stop because the
coyote is only doing what is natural.
He calls animal control. Animal Control captures the coyote
and bills the state $200 testing it for diseases
and $500 for relocating it.
He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog
and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases.
The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked
for diseases from the coyote and on getting his
bite wound bandaged.
The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts
a $100,000 survey to make sure the area
is now free of dangerous animals.
The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing
a "coyote awareness program" for residents of the area.
The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies
and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.
The Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the attack.
The state spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent
with additional special training regarding the nature of coyotes.
PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files a $5 million suit against the state.
Texas
The Governor of Texas (a Republican) is jogging with his dog along a nature trail.
A coyote jumps out and attacks his dog.
The Governor draws his state-issued pistol, shoots the coyote and keeps jogging.
The Governor has spent $.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.
The buzzards eat the dead coyote.
And that, my friends, is why Illinois is broke and Texas is financially solid.
Topic: The Coyote - Illinois vs. Texas (Read 572 times)