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Author Topic: Suburbanites can't wait till kids leave home  (Read 812 times)

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Offline Matthew

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Suburbanites can't wait till kids leave home
« on: October 27, 2008, 11:44:01 AM »
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  • Too bad I won't get to look forward to any of those "windfalls" when my kids leave home. They won't be having cell phones, fashionable clothes, expensive lessons, etc.

    And if God means for them to go to college, he will give them enough talent to excel and get plenty of scholarships. If they're "borderline" like most college students -- average intelligence, that is -- they are obviously destined for a manual trade. Or if they're super-motivated to get a degree, they can get part-time jobs to pay for college.

    God does not intend for 95% of people to get a "higher education". Think about it -- how can 95% of people have above-average intelligence? Being an intellectual is not for the majority. That should be common sense. True college is supposed to be for the few -- and should cover philosophy, how to think/argue/write, etc. and NOT be a fancy trade school (how to be an engineer, programmer, accountant, mechanic, etc.)

    KIDS ARE NOT THAT EXPENSIVE

    ...unless you're stupid and/or non-Catholic (the two seem to go together, I'm afraid)


    The biggest raise you'll ever get
    The upside to an empty nest: much fuller pockets. Make sure you don't blow the windfall.

    By Dan Kadlec, Money Magazine contributing writer
    October 27, 2008: 6:44 AM ET

    (Money Magazine) -- The oldest of my three children started college this year, prompting me to flash forward to the day when my kids have all left home and the expenses of child rearing - from piano lessons to orthodontics, summer camp to undergrad tuition - are firmly behind me.

    Granted, with two still in high school and the other just a university freshman, it's a little early for me to think about such things in earnest. But I can't help myself; it's exciting.

    Yes, this time of life may be bittersweet. Reduced expenses will come with the emotional baggage of living in an empty nest and experiencing a few more aches and pains from aging. Financially, though, this turning point may amount to the biggest pay raise you or I will ever get.

    Don't botch it. Here are some strategies for making the most of your empty-nest windfall.
    Re-assess the basics

    It's simple math: A household of two doesn't have the same financial needs as a household of four or five. Some of the savings will happen automatically - for instance, lower grocery and clothing bills once you're no longer meeting the needs of ravenous, trend-conscious teenagers.

    But others require thought and action on your part. If you find, for example, that you're rattling around in a big empty house, maybe it's time to think about downsizing and reaping the savings a smaller home may bring.

    If you're free of tuition bills and your mortgage is paid off as well, you may need less life insurance. And if your children have left home for good, for goodness' sake, don't continue to carry them on your auto insurance policy.

    But as you're lightening up on some types of coverage, think about adding another: long-term-care insurance, which pays for nursing home and some at-home health care. This is costly coverage (typically $2,000 to $3,000 a year) and most people never need it.

    But if you have a history of devastating illness in your family and an estate of at least $500,000 or so that you'd like to preserve for your heirs, this policy can buy you peace of mind.
    Seize the moment

    Your savings may not amount to much at first, especially if your nest is emptier but not yet totally empty - that is, an older child is out of college and on her own, but you still have one or two in school or at home. So it's easy to miss the fact that you have more money to work with.

    "Most people don't realize this is a big planning moment," says Ellen Rogin, a financial planner at Strategic Financial Designs in Northfield, Ill. "If you don't think about what to do with the extra cash, the money will just disappear into spending."

    First step: Sit down with pen and paper or an Excel spreadsheet and try calculating how much cash has been freed up. You probably know, almost to the dollar, the amount you're saving by not paying tuition anymore.

    But how much less a week are you spending on groceries and takeout? How about sporting equipment and fees for guitar or dance lessons and other extracurricular activities? The kids' clothes? Furnishings for the dorm room? Their cell phones? These seemingly minor expenses, tallied together, probably add up to several thousand or more a year.

    Figure you've probably got more like 80% of that amount to work with - your calculations won't be precise and some of that cash will be subsumed into the rising cost of everything - and make a priority list for what to do with the money.

    Goal No. 1: Paying off your nonmortgage debt. After all, as you get closer to retirement, you can't afford to be in the hole. Be systematic. At the time you used to write your tuition check, Rogin advises, write checks equal to at least half that amount and apply it to your loans.

    Start with variable-rate debt, like credit cards and home-equity lines; then tackle fixed-rate obligations like auto or college loans.
    Kick savings into high gear

    You'll also be able to focus on investing for retirement like never before. Even before you've paid off all your consumer debt, aim to put at least 20% to 40% of your newfound cash into long-term savings.

    If you're already maxing out your 401(k), take advantage of the catch-up provision that lets employees age 50 and older kick in an additional $5,000 this year. Or fund a Roth IRA (if you and your spouse earn $159,000 or less, you can put in $5,000 this year; or $6,000 if you're 50 or older).

    "The numbers say you should pay off your debts completely first," says Cleveland financial planner Ken Robinson. "But we don't run on numbers. We run on emotion, and seeing your savings grow is incredibly empowering."
    Live a little

    Go ahead and spend some of your wind-fall. Gulp. That's not easy for me to write. Spending is most people's natural inclination. They don't need encouragement and, if anything, they're apt to go overboard.

    Yet you've earned some fun. A good life is about balance, not denial. So live a little. The key is putting a limit on the reward. "I could see spending 10% or even 20% of a monthly windfall," says Robinson.
    Fund your legacy

    If you have ample savings and no debts, it's a good time to consider how you might share some of your assets in the future to promote the things that matter most to you. "You want to put meaning into your money," says Howard Kramer, a financial planner in Plantation, Fla. "Don't just spend it."

    Start by opening a discrete account for charitable giving - a simple money-market fund will do - and depositing a carefully considered portion of your empty-nester windfall into it every month (say, 10% to 20%).

    Or contribute to a donor-advised fund, like the Fidelity Charitable Gift Fund or Vanguard Charitable Endowment Program, which gives you a tax deduction on money you'll invest and give away later.

    Then think about the kind of impact you'd like to have. Maybe you hope to help fund a future grandchild's 529 plan. Or assist your kids with the down payment on a house.

    Or maybe you want to spend your charity bucks on a volunteer vacation (for destination ideas, check out voluntourism.org or globalvolunteers.org). Give it some thought, and prepare to use your assets in a way that reflects your values.
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    Offline trent13

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    Suburbanites can't wait till kids leave home
    « Reply #1 on: October 27, 2008, 01:17:43 PM »
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  • It's true that higher education shouldn't be for a purely utilitarian purpose, but on the other hand, considering how much even our seconday education has completely gone down the drain, as well as the fact that having a bachelor's degree now almost seems to be the equivalent of what was once a high school education, it can be hard to make a dependable income off of "blue collar" work, especially given that if one is traditional catholic one should expect to have a big family.  And that is not to say that one cannot have faith in God that He will protect His own.  I think God helps those who help themselves in a certain sense.  While not everyone is intellectually qualified to attain higher education (in the truest sense) I think it's almost a matter of responisbility towards one's future to attempt a utilitarian degree (as well as higher learning - again, in the truest sense, according to one' capabilities) - especially for men, as possibly being future provider's of a family.  One "beef" that I have with some families is when they allow their highschool age children to have jobs and instead of reinforcing financial responsibility by making them save their money for the future (college, house, car) they allow them to blow it on the most worthless and time wasting things... and then on top of it view going to college as a *purely* untilitarian objective. I definitely am going to drive my children to exceed intellectually, but if God doesn't grace them with great intellectual capabilities so be it, I'll have to do what I can, and so will they.

    On another note, it's patently absurd that parent's today feel so obligated to satisfy their child's every whim - what Mr. Kadlec call the ravenous, trend-conscious teenager, with the cell-phone, and the latest and greatest of everything.   On the flip side of this idiotic notion is the sad, sad lack of responsibility towards aging parents and disrespect directed towards parents in general on the part of the children.  Maybe it's a case of what came first the chicken or the egg syndrome - the one problem causing the other.  Whatever happened to the simple things of childhood, simple joys, simple pleasures, instead of this concept of "more, more, more" - or that one isn't happy unless one has lots of expensive stuff.  People by and large are raising their children to be defined by their things, whether it's their Ikea furniture, Volkswagen Passat, or their nifty phone that can do this, that, and the other, and then some.  Wake up people! You are NOT your STUFF!  So here these people are spending outrageous amounts of money (even to the point of foreclosure on their house) so that their children get whatever they want, and in the end they can't depend on those same children to take care of them in their old age, or even to be grateful and respectful- not to mention the ramifications of what these sort of attitudes have on society.  Too true, stupidity and non-Catholicism do seem to go hand in hand.


    Offline sedetrad

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    Suburbanites can't wait till kids leave home
    « Reply #2 on: October 27, 2008, 01:51:19 PM »
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  • What we are seeing in the above atticle is the external manifestation of the internal sewage like state of the souls of western peoples.