Catholic Info
Traditional Catholic Faith => Catholic Living in the Modern World => Topic started by: AMDGJMJ on July 19, 2022, 07:05:25 AM
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I have known several young traditional Catholic men and women who have had trouble meeting eligible people to enter into a courtship with at their chapels...
One person I know asked about whether there was any trustworthy traditional Catholic courting site I could recommend and was curious if Matthew might consider having a courting-subforum here if there was enough interest.
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Only makes sense if it becomes big, right? Surely it is highly impractical for people to court hundreds of miles apart.
Also, how would they interact on the forum? Make a post about themselves? If it becomes big, how would people filter by age, location, beliefs, etc. on a forum?
There are plenty of catholic dating sites for those interested I'm sure, the real problem is likely the quality of the people desperate enough to make a dating profile, not the site. A new site won't fix the problem.
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I think it might change the character of the forum and undermine it's original intent. There are forums for dating already in place.
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Only makes sense if it becomes big, right? Surely it is highly impractical for people to court hundreds of miles apart.
Also, how would they interact on the forum? Make a post about themselves? If it becomes big, how would people filter by age, location, beliefs, etc. on a forum?
There are plenty of catholic dating sites for those interested I'm sure, the real problem is likely the quality of the people desperate enough to make a dating profile, not the site. A new site won't fix the problem.
There are no catholic dating sites for trads only, most of the time people can't find anyone on those sites that would even go to a TLM. Also I don't think it's impractical for people to court from different locations. I have friends that got married to people they met online in another country. And most users here are from the US I assumed so it wouldn't be a problem either way.
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There are no catholic dating sites for trads only, most of the time people can't find anyone on those sites that would even go to a TLM. Also I don't think it's impractical for people to court from different locations. I have friends that got married to people they met online in another country. And most users here are from the US I assumed so it wouldn't be a problem either way.
OK, still, a website is much more practical.
Also a point to consider, I wouldn't want pictures of attractive women readily available on the site.
St. Alphonsus Liguori, Mortification of the Eyes: “But I do not see how looks at young persons of a different sex can be excused from the guilt of a venial fault, or even from mortal sin, when there is proximate danger of criminal consent. "It is not lawful," says [Pope] St. Gregory, "to behold what it is not lawful to covet." The evil thought which proceeds from looks, though it should be rejected, never fails to leave a stain upon the soul.” (The True Spouse of Jesus Christ, p. 221)
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There are no catholic dating sites for trads only, most of the time people can't find anyone on those sites that would even go to a TLM. Also I don't think it's impractical for people to court from different locations. I have friends that got married to people they met online in another country. And most users here are from the US I assumed so it wouldn't be a problem either way.
I fully agree with this; available Catholic dating sites practically never have anyone seriously interested in the TLM, even if there is a "latin mass" search filter. In the rare event that someone does attend the Latin mass on those sites, 95% of the time they subscribe to Vatican II theology, are moderate or liberal politically, and also attend diocesan Novus Ordo in addition to the "extraordinary form" as they call it.
There used to be "SSPX singles" and "Sedvecantist singles" dating sites, but those have since been taken down.
The hard truth is that there are many young Catholic singles in their 20's and 30's, who are seeking marriage with good intentions, but simply cannot find anyone purely due to chapel demographics (not many other young people in a given chapel), and geographical location (small chapels scattered far and wide across the country, sometimes in remote rural areas). Long-distance dating, while it has its challenges, is often the only option to get to know people, unless you have the resources for endless travel or staying long-term in a larger Trad community.
There's got to be a way to solve this problem and bring together traditional-minded people who seriously want to pursue Catholic marriage. Yes, dedicated TLM dating websites (or better yet, more opportunities to meet people in person such as appropriately supervised YAGs, collaborative celebrations of feast days between different chapels etc.) would probably be the best options. However, there doesn't appear to be any sign of a TLM dating website or other YAG-type events being organized in the future. it can take a lot of of time and energy to get these started, and if it is an in-person event you need the money and space to make it happen. So, until someone finally has the ability to start one of these options from scratch, perhaps a properly regulated online forum or subforum would still be better than nothing.
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Only makes sense if it becomes big, right? Surely it is highly impractical for people to court hundreds of miles apart.
Also, how would they interact on the forum? Make a post about themselves? If it becomes big, how would people filter by age, location, beliefs, etc. on a forum?
There are plenty of catholic dating sites for those interested I'm sure, the real problem is likely the quality of the people desperate enough to make a dating profile, not the site. A new site won't fix the problem.
The idea is that it would give an option for people to communicate who literally have no one at their chapel to consider a courtship with. Nothing formal but an opportunity to help until there is something better out there.
I don't think personal pictures should ever be allowed to be posted on the forum for it.
If people find they have similar beliefs and are similar enough in personal preferences and age they can privately message each other and give each other their email addresses.
It would also give a good spot for young people to be instructed by the older members as to what they should work on to make themselves more "marriageable".
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I fully agree with this; available Catholic dating sites practically never have anyone seriously interested in the TLM, even if there is a "latin mass" search filter. In the rare event that someone does attend the Latin mass on those sites, 95% of the time they subscribe to Vatican II theology, are moderate or liberal politically, and also attend diocesan Novus Ordo in addition to the "extraordinary form" as they call it.
There used to be "SSPX singles" and "Sedvecantist singles" dating sites, but those have since been taken down.
The hard truth is that there are many young Catholic singles in their 20's and 30's, who are seeking marriage with good intentions, but simply cannot find anyone purely due to chapel demographics (not many other young people in a given chapel), and geographical location (small chapels scattered far and wide across the country, sometimes in remote rural areas). Long-distance dating, while it has its challenges, is often the only option to get to know people, unless you have the resources for endless travel or staying long-term in a larger Trad community.
There's got to be a way to solve this problem and bring together traditional-minded people who seriously want to pursue Catholic marriage. Yes, dedicated TLM dating websites (or better yet, more opportunities to meet people in person such as appropriately supervised YAGs, collaborative celebrations of feast days between different chapels etc.) would probably be the best options. However, there doesn't appear to be any sign of a TLM dating website or other YAG-type events being organized in the future. it can take a lot of of time and energy to get these started, and if it is an in-person event you need the money and space to make it happen. So, until someone finally has the ability to start one of these options from scratch, perhaps a properly regulated online forum or subforum would still be better than nothing.
YAG is a great idea. Website not so much.
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The idea is that it would give an option for people to communicate who literally have no one at their chapel to consider a courtship with. Nothing formal but an opportunity to help until there is something better out there.
I don't think personal pictures should ever be allowed to be posted on the forum for it.
If people find they have similar beliefs and are similar enough in personal preferences and age they can privately message each other and give each other their email addresses.
It would also give a good spot for young people to be instructed by the older members as to what they should work on to make themselves more "marriageable".
Agree. It'll be great if there's a place where a general courtship-oriented self introduction can be posted, then people can privately message them for further questions or photo. It could also be helpful if they can add a feature that only single persons can view that sub-forum?
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YAG is a great idea. Website not so much.
It's definitely true that meeting people in person is usually objectively better/much more efficient than virtual. There is a lot that can be learned from one in-person conversation that even multiple emails might not indicate. Online is often the only viable option immediately available to many due to location and lack of YAGs, and there are good marriages that have resulted from it. However, there definitely is a serious need for more in-person opportunities.
Perhaps a forum/subforum online could also be utilized to help organize appropriate YAG-like events centered around a given chapel? (even if relatively informal, for example a group visit to a shrine/park then dinner etc. after Sunday mass). Therefore, an online subforum could be potentially used as a tool to organize more in-person events.
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I think some people meet on tradcircle.ning.com but CI's discussion is more candid and this site also does not require real name registration and 30 day activity... Which tradcircle does. Not active for 30 days and your account is deleted.
As I have pointed out before, YAG's criteria actually disallow almost all users from the forum from going :trollface:
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YAG's criteria actually disallow almost all users from the forum from going :trollface:
???
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???
The rules:
Special Requirements
To avoid a repetition of past problems between potential spouses, the late Fr. Anthony Cekada laid down the following requirements for participation:
By registering for this activity, you affirm that:
- You are a sedevacantist.
- You will not participate in Masses that are offered “in union with” Francis or where his name is inserted into the Canon of the Mass.
- You reject in principle and practice the SSPV policy of (a) refusing communion with the clergy of St. Gertrude the Great Church and its affiliates and of (b) denying sacraments to laymen who receive sacraments from said clergy.
- You believe that Baptism of Desire and Baptism of Blood are possible means of salvation for persons who die without Baptism of Water, provided they meet the other criteria set by the Church.
So dogmatic non una-cuм, dogmatic BoD/BoB, dogmatic sede. One or more of those threee factors pretty much excludes everyone here lol.
Better question is why would you want your kids going? Some very dangerous requirements to go.
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The rules:So dogmatic non una-cuм, dogmatic BoD/BoB, dogmatic sede. One or more of those threee factors pretty much excludes everyone here lol.
Better question is why would you want your kids going? Some very dangerous requirements to go.
Why couldn't hansel or AMDGJMJ create a trad YAG get together once or twice a year ONLY allowing the beliefs you mentioned?
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Only makes sense if it becomes big, right? Surely it is highly impractical for people to court hundreds of miles apart.
Also, how would they interact on the forum? Make a post about themselves? If it becomes big, how would people filter by age, location, beliefs, etc. on a forum?
There are plenty of catholic dating sites for those interested I'm sure, the real problem is likely the quality of the people desperate enough to make a dating profile, not the site. A new site won't fix the problem.
You're missing the forest for the trees. This site attracts a certain type of Catholic - those who are, usually, serious about their Faith and tradition or eager to learn about it, if they're new converts or finally snapping out of the Novus Ordo spell. The other "Catholic" courtship sites attract dubious prospects.
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You're missing the forest for the trees. This site attracts a certain type of Catholic - those who are, usually, serious about their Faith and tradition or eager to learn about it, if they're new converts or finally snapping out of the Novus Ordo spell. The other "Catholic" courtship sites attract dubious prospects.
I suspect a new Catholic courtship site will, as well.
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I suspect a new Catholic courtship site will, as well.
Red herring fallacy.
Starting a courtship subforum on this existing site is not starting a new site. The new subforum won't overshaddow the forum. If people don't like the new subforum, then don't go to it. People who say, "long distance relationships never work" are apparently ignorant of the fact that Matthew (owner of this forum) met his wife essentially the same way as a new Catholic courtship subforum could allow others here.
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Quote from: Lois Einhorn (https://www.cathinfo.com/index.php?topic=68128.msg836553#msg836553) 7/19/2022, 4:29:06 PM
Red herring fallacy.
Starting a courtship subforum on this existing site is not starting a new site. The new subforum won't overshaddow the forum. If people don't like the new subforum, then don't go to it.
I suspect a new Catholic courtship subforum on this site will attract dubious prospects, as well.
Why are you afraid of a trad YAG group, in person meeting?
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I suspect a new Catholic courtship subforum on this site will attract dubious prospects, as well.
Learn some critical thinking. This site attracts those who are interested in tradition of the Catholic Faith and who want to converse with others steeped in the Faith. The courtship subforum will be for "members only", which means it will only be visible through membership. People who "google" Catholic "dating" sites won't get a result from CI because it will only be visible to members. So anyone who has a desire to use the subforum, their initial interest in the forum as a whole was driven by their quest to deepen or gain more understanding of their Catholic Faith or converse with others in the Faith, not to find courtship.
Why are you afraid of a trad YAG group, in person meeting?
Loaded question fallacy.
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Learn some critical thinking. This site attracts those who are interested in tradition of the Catholic Faith and who want to converse with others steeped in the Faith. The courtship subforum will be for "members only", which means it will only be visible through membership. People who "google" Catholic "dating" sites won't get a result from CI because it will only be visible to members.
Loaded question fallacy.
This site also clearly attracts dubious people.
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Why couldn't hansel or AMDGJMJ create a trad YAG get together once or twice a year ONLY allowing the beliefs you mentioned?
I think letting potential couples hash these issues out is better than events being organized around opinions other than the existence of a crisis and the need for Catholic families. Adhering to whatever theological opinions (looking at dogmatic non una-cuм in particular) shouldn't be the issue but rather adhering to existing dogma. I was making a tongue in cheek observation that nearly no one from these forums can attend YAG. I am probably one of the most moderate sedeprivationists on the forum and I would not be able to attend (I am married, for the record).
I fully support AMDGJMJ's idea, for the record. I am merely voicing concern with YAG and why there needs to be alternatives.
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This site also clearly attracts dubious people.
If it didn't already, it more likely would if it incorporated a singles subforum. Occasions of sin and of disaster would be virtually certain.
Go to a chapel, meet eligible members of the opposite sex, get to know their families and friends.
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I'm not opposed to a sub-forum but it might be easier to simply have an icon or text next to each member's name that would indicate if they are open to courting. If one member is interested in another then they could PM.
(https://i.imgur.com/R568pi7.png)
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I'm not opposed to a sub-forum but it might be easier to simply have an icon or text next to each member's name that would indicate if they are open to courting. If one member is interested in another then they could PM.
(https://i.imgur.com/R568pi7.png)
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This. It can be a vocation status that displays under the avatar.
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I have a feeling that most people against the idea are the ones already married :facepalm:
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Isn't this part of the purpose of the Men only and Women only forums?
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Isn't this part of the purpose of the Men only and Women only forums?
I think the idea is for the men and women to talk to each other, not to people of the same sex.
Bit distracted today, Buddy? :cowboy:
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And most users here are from the US I assumed so it wouldn't be a problem either way.
That would not last for long!
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I think the idea is for the men and women to talk to each other, not to people of the same sex.
Bit distracted today, Buddy? :cowboy:
:facepalm:
Yes, and very, very tired from packing, cleaning and prepping the house for sale lol.
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:facepalm:
Yes, and very, very tired from packing, cleaning and prepping the house for sale lol.
Time for a rest my friend.....
(https://mobimg.b-cdn.net/v3/fetch/d5/d511e8b0bf2e4709d770cfdeeca950f9.jpeg)
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OK, still, a website is much more practical.
Also a point to consider, I wouldn't want pictures of attractive women readily available on the site.
St. Alphonsus Liguori, Mortification of the Eyes: “But I do not see how looks at young persons of a different sex can be excused from the guilt of a venial fault, or even from mortal sin, when there is proximate danger of criminal consent. "It is not lawful," says [Pope] St. Gregory, "to behold what it is not lawful to covet." The evil thought which proceeds from looks, though it should be rejected, never fails to leave a stain upon the soul.” (The True Spouse of Jesus Christ, p. 221)
Are you sure this paragraph is not written solely for consecrated virgins/religious? I doubt it would be a fault at all to look at a potential future spouse's face, since when it has nothing to do with "not lawful to covet". Reminds me of the premarital look memes.
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Are you sure this paragraph is not written solely for consecrated virgins/religious? I doubt it would be a fault at all to look at a potential future spouse's face, since when it has nothing to do with "not lawful to covet". Reminds me of the premarital look memes.
Not solely, but it's being misused here. It's from the Complete Ascetical Works of St. Alphonsus. From the Notice (https://archive.org/details/thecompleteascet01grimuoft/page/12/mode/2up)is the following:
These two volumes of the writings of St. Alphonsus contain, therefore, all that properly regards the religious.
The saint himself tells us that his book is suitable not only to nuns, but also to all members of the religious state, in that which refers to the observance of the vows, regular discipline, and the perfection of their state. As for the practice of Christian virtues, the work will be found highly useful even for seculars. We add that this volume should with greater reason be serviceable to ecclesiastics, especially to those that are charged with the difficult task of directing souls in the spiritual life; they may draw therefrom lights that may not perhaps be found as clear and as sure elsewhere.
Yes, you can take what St. Alphonsus says there at face-value, as it is still good moral advice. But, it's directed toward religious, so it would be more appropriate for a confessor to read this and utilize it to direct a penitent rather than laymen reading it to direct themselves, as it could lead to an unnecessary rigorism contrary to their state in life. This is the problem I've been seeing with lay-readings of St. Alphonsus, where people will look at his teachings and draw a conclusion from it beyond the scope of its audience and intention. You'll see some stretch his concept of mental reservation to excuse outright lies; and his ideas on Baptism of Desire to allow for a Pelagian denial of the dogma Outside of the Church there is no Salvation.
Therefore, as for the topic at-hand, I don't think you should have any shame in assessing the looks of another person as material for courtship. Especially given that you're unmarried. God made women and men to be attracted to each other, after all, physical features are a natural part of that attraction.
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Also a point to consider, I wouldn't want pictures of attractive women readily available on the site.
Then you ignore the topic or the sub-forum. Which you have the option to do in your forum settings. You can also work on mortifying yourself and avoiding that which scandalizes you.
I'm not in favor of this, by the way, but let's be reasonable here.
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A bit of a story for you... many of you already know that Matthew and I met on CatholicMatch.com. However, my motivation for joining that site was NOT to find a spouse. I was looking for places online to discuss Catholic topics with other Catholics and only paying members had access to the site's FORUM, yes FORUM. I don't recall if I saw Matthew on that forum or was just browsing profiles, but I do know that I didn't reach out to him for a date or anything of that sort, I simply wanted to know what the "SSPX" mentioned in his description stood for. :laugh2:
Moral of this story? If you want to really meet people online, it doesn't require a dedicated space, just STOP (1) hiding behind a non-descriptive screen name, (2) avoiding all personal info in your posts, and (3) failing to mention at least in passing (intro thread, anyone?) that you're YOUNG and SINGLE. As for long-distance courtship, I'd hold off worrying about it until it actually happens. You might find someone totally worth the effort or perhaps find someone that wasn't terribly fond of where they were living anyway.
Also, if you use a picture of yourself anywhere else online, there's no reason why you shouldn't use it as your picture here too. I get not putting your picture everywhere online as I'm pretty particular in that department, but if you're the sort who's already shared it with Meta and Google a hundred times over, why not put it to somewhat better use here?
As always, spend more time praying about a future spouse than you do worrying about finding one. :pray:
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Agree. It'll be great if there's a place where a general courtship-oriented self introduction can be posted, then people can privately message them for further questions or photo. It could also be helpful if they can add a feature that only single persons can view that sub-forum?
I think that allowing married couples also to help monitor and give advice might help keep some of the weirdos more at bay... I know a lot of traditional Catholic married people helped me in that regard back when I was trying to determine how to know what people I could trust online to later talk to privately. 😅
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It's definitely true that meeting people in person is usually objectively better/much more efficient than virtual. There is a lot that can be learned from one in-person conversation that even multiple emails might not indicate. Online is often the only viable option immediately available to many due to location and lack of YAGs, and there are good marriages that have resulted from it. However, there definitely is a serious need for more in-person opportunities.
Perhaps a forum/subforum online could also be utilized to help organize appropriate YAG-like events centered around a given chapel? (even if relatively informal, for example a group visit to a shrine/park then dinner etc. after Sunday mass). Therefore, an online subforum could be potentially used as a tool to organize more in-person events.
Great idea! 🥰
The first step is just getting more solid hardline traditional Catholic singles connected and aware of the existence of others in that sphere.
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Why couldn't hansel or AMDGJMJ create a trad YAG get together once or twice a year ONLY allowing the beliefs you mentioned?
I am open to the idea of hosting a YAG event. My parents own a recreation building that they rent out and I think I could get them to let me borrow it.
But, with two clingy toddlers and baby #3 on the way, I am not sure I can quite commit to hosting yet. Especially as the little boys are kind of inspeperable from me right now. Maybe in a couple of years when they are a little older and I wouldn't have to bring the little ones in tow... It might destroy the atmosphere of a "young adults group" meet up if my childhood were running around everywhere. 😅
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I think letting potential couples hash these issues out is better than events being organized around opinions other than the existence of a crisis and the need for Catholic families. Adhering to whatever theological opinions (looking at dogmatic non una-cuм in particular) shouldn't be the issue but rather adhering to existing dogma. I was making a tongue in cheek observation that nearly no one from these forums can attend YAG. I am probably one of the most moderate sedeprivationists on the forum and I would not be able to attend (I am married, for the record).
I fully support AMDGJMJ's idea, for the record. I am merely voicing concern with YAG and why there needs to be alternatives.
Absolutely agreed! I am also a "sedeprivationist" or "private sede" but in my opinion the only criterias that should be essential for a traditional Catholic YAG are that the young people should all completely avoid the novus ordo sacraments and be hardline traditional Catholics. Meaning, they should care and make a point to only attend the Latin Mass and receive Sacraments from valid traditionally ordained and consecrated clergy who are not guilty of pernicious heresy.
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:facepalm:
Yes, and very, very tired from packing, cleaning and prepping the house for sale lol.
Praying that your move and settling into your new house goes well! 🙏😇
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Not solely, but it's being misused here. It's from the Complete Ascetical Works of St. Alphonsus. From the Notice (https://archive.org/details/thecompleteascet01grimuoft/page/12/mode/2up)is the following:
Yes, you can take what St. Alphonsus says there at face-value, as it is still good moral advice. But, it's directed toward religious, so it would be more appropriate for a confessor to read this and utilize it to direct a penitent rather than laymen reading it to direct themselves, as it could lead to an unnecessary rigorism contrary to their state in life. This is the problem I've been seeing with lay-readings of St. Alphonsus, where people will look at his teachings and draw a conclusion from it beyond the scope of its audience and intention. You'll see some stretch his concept of mental reservation to excuse outright lies; and his ideas on Baptism of Desire to allow for a Pelagian denial of the dogma Outside of the Church there is no Salvation.
Therefore, as for the topic at-hand, I don't think you should have any shame in assessing the looks of another person as material for courtship. Especially given that you're unmarried. God made women and men to be attracted to each other, after all, physical features are a natural part of that attraction.
Thoroughly agreed, it can be inferred from the quote that you are not to look at those who you mustn't covet. That means it is best to avoid looking in general, but obviously if you are in the period of looking for a spouse then it is necessary to look.
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I'm not opposed to a sub-forum but it might be easier to simply have an icon or text next to each member's name that would indicate if they are open to courting. If one member is interested in another then they could PM.
(https://i.imgur.com/R568pi7.png)
Great idea. After reading a bit more I don't think a courting sub-forum is such a bad idea.
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A bit of a story for you... many of you already know that Matthew and I met on CatholicMatch.com. However, my motivation for joining that site was NOT to find a spouse. I was looking for places online to discuss Catholic topics with other Catholics and only paying members had access to the site's FORUM, yes FORUM. I don't recall if I saw Matthew on that forum or was just browsing profiles, but I do know that I didn't reach out to him for a date or anything of that sort, I simply wanted to know what the "SSPX" mentioned in his description stood for. :laugh2:
Moral of this story? If you want to really meet people online, it doesn't require a dedicated space, just STOP (1) hiding behind a non-descriptive screen name, (2) avoiding all personal info in your posts, and (3) failing to mention at least in passing (intro thread, anyone?) that you're YOUNG and SINGLE. As for long-distance courtship, I'd hold off worrying about it until it actually happens. You might find someone totally worth the effort or perhaps find someone that wasn't terribly fond of where they were living anyway.
Also, if you use a picture of yourself anywhere else online, there's no reason why you shouldn't use it as your picture here too. I get not putting your picture everywhere online as I'm pretty particular in that department, but if you're the sort who's already shared it with Meta and Google a hundred times over, why not put it to somewhat better use here?
As always, spend more time praying about a future spouse than you do worrying about finding one. :pray:
Thank you for sharing your story!!! 🥰
I think you have made a LOT of good points.
SO MANY people already have their profile pictures available online anyhow. I hadn't thought of that (because I don't use Facebook and such anymore for security reasons). 😅
Many people have introduced themselves here and mentioned their ages in there or in various posts but it is hard to keep it all together. I think a person could still have security of their personal information but write a short bio saying, "I am such and such an age, I am single and looking for a spouse
".
If the person is a man they could state some facts about their job and and ideas to explain their ability to support a family.
If the person is a woman she could explain her capabilities of running a household and other such learning and experience.
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Here are a couple examples (all figurative ;) :popcorn:):
I am a 28 year old single gentleman. I have never been married. I attend a Resistance chapel in Connecticut. I am private family doctor. Some of my hobbies are that I like to hunt and fish in my free time.
I am a 23 year old single lady. I have never been married. I attend Mass at an SSPX chapel in Louisiana. I am cautious as to the new priests coming in who are not conditionally ordained. I would prefer a better Mass option but nothing is available in my area. I have skill in cooking, mend my own clothes, and have worked with homeschooling and tutoring children. Some of my hobbies are reading, gardening, and hiking.
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Thank you for sharing your story!!! 🥰
I think you have made a LOT of good points.
SO MANY people already have their profile pictures available online anyhow. I hadn't thought of that (because I don't use Facebook and such anymore for security reasons). 😅
Many people have introduced themselves here and mentioned their ages in there or in various posts but it is hard to keep it all together. I think a person could still have security of their personal information but write a short bio saying, "I am such and such an age, I am single and looking for a spouse
".
If the person is a man they could state some facts about their job and and ideas to explain their ability to support a family.
If the person is a woman she could explain her capabilities of running a household and other such learning and experience.
Yes, the whole point of subforum is to keep information together. Putting things in bio could work only when both parties are super active here and look through all the members of the opposite sex who have such bios 😂
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Quote from: epiphany on Yesterday at 03:26:10 PM (https://www.cathinfo.com/catholic-living-in-the-modern-world/should-we-ask-matthew-about-making-a-sub-forum-on-courtship-for-members/msg836533/#msg836533)
Why couldn't hansel or AMDGJMJ create a trad YAG get together once or twice a year ONLY allowing the beliefs you mentioned?
Unfortunately I don't have the resources or venue to create a proper YAG from scratch by myself, BUT I would be more than happy to lend a hand with others to help make an event like this happen. I am a single (never married) man in early 30's, and am looking to meet like-minded traditional Catholics as well with the ultimate goal of marriage (God willing), so I would definitely want to attend one of these events as well as assisting. :)
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Quote from: epiphany on Yesterday at 03:26:10 PM (https://www.cathinfo.com/catholic-living-in-the-modern-world/should-we-ask-matthew-about-making-a-sub-forum-on-courtship-for-members/msg836533/#msg836533)Unfortunately I don't have the resources or venue to create a proper YAG from scratch by myself, BUT I would be more than happy to lend a hand with others to help make an event like this happen. I am a single (never married) man in early 30's, and am looking to meet like-minded traditional Catholics as well with the ultimate goal of marriage (God willing), so I would definitely want to attend one of these events as well as assisting. :)
I think the reason there aren't as many traditional Catholic hardline YAGs (non Indult) is because of the work in organizing them and also the time and money involved.
For example:
If we tried to organize one for the fall...
How many people would be interested and willing to help?
How many people are willing to travel for such an event?
I have never actually been to a traditional Catholic YAG so I am not sure how people arrange meals or hotels. Has anyone here ever been to one?
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A bit of a story for you... many of you already know that Matthew and I met on CatholicMatch.com. However, my motivation for joining that site was NOT to find a spouse. I was looking for places online to discuss Catholic topics with other Catholics and only paying members had access to the site's FORUM, yes FORUM. I don't recall if I saw Matthew on that forum or was just browsing profiles, but I do know that I didn't reach out to him for a date or anything of that sort, I simply wanted to know what the "SSPX" mentioned in his description stood for. :laugh2:
As did my husband and I [I think....when it was straphael.net before Catholic Match, I believe]. I was also interested in the forum there, but I think I did both the forum AND look for a spouse at the same time]. Luckily for us, however, we were both NO at the time which made finding each other easier [and the fact that we were willing to meet someone hundreds of miles away]. We both found Tradition after we were married.
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I fully agree with this; available Catholic dating sites practically never have anyone seriously interested in the TLM, even if there is a "latin mass" search filter. In the rare event that someone does attend the Latin mass on those sites, 95% of the time they subscribe to Vatican II theology, are moderate or liberal politically, and also attend diocesan Novus Ordo in addition to the "extraordinary form" as they call it.
There used to be "SSPX singles" and "Sedvecantist singles" dating sites, but those have since been taken down.
The hard truth is that there are many young Catholic singles in their 20's and 30's, who are seeking marriage with good intentions, but simply cannot find anyone purely due to chapel demographics (not many other young people in a given chapel), and geographical location (small chapels scattered far and wide across the country, sometimes in remote rural areas). Long-distance dating, while it has its challenges, is often the only option to get to know people, unless you have the resources for endless travel or staying long-term in a larger Trad community.
There's got to be a way to solve this problem and bring together traditional-minded people who seriously want to pursue Catholic marriage. Yes, dedicated TLM dating websites (or better yet, more opportunities to meet people in person such as appropriately supervised YAGs, collaborative celebrations of feast days between different chapels etc.) would probably be the best options. However, there doesn't appear to be any sign of a TLM dating website or other YAG-type events being organized in the future. it can take a lot of of time and energy to get these started, and if it is an in-person event you need the money and space to make it happen. So, until someone finally has the ability to start one of these options from scratch, perhaps a properly regulated online forum or subforum would still be better than nothing.
I found my husband when we were both NO, and I thank God for that. Trying to find a pre-Vatican II Catholic is so difficult...as you say, even for younger folk. Imagine what it's like for those who are in their 40's.
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I think the reason there aren't as many traditional Catholic hardline YAGs (non Indult) is because of the work in organizing them and also the time and money involved.
For example:
If we tried to organize one for the fall...
How many people would be interested and willing to help?
How many people are willing to travel for such an event?
I have never actually been to a traditional Catholic YAG so I am not sure how people arrange meals or hotels. Has anyone here ever been to one?
I think YAG only works for people that live relatively close by... Otherwise it's too much planning. Unless it becomes BIG and can be announced like months ago before it happens, maybe like a real Cathinfo meet-up/ YAG, that'll be epic haha.
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Here are a couple examples (all figurative ;) :popcorn:):
I am a 28 year old single gentleman. I have never been married. I attend a Resistance chapel in Connecticut. I am private family doctor. Some of my hobbies are that I like to hunt and fish in my free time.
I am a 23 year old single lady. I have never been married. I attend Mass at an SSPX chapel in Louisiana. I am cautious as to the new priests coming in who are not conditionally ordained. I would prefer a better Mass option but nothing is available in my area. I have skill in cooking, mend my own clothes, and have worked with homeschooling and tutoring children. Some of my hobbies are reading, gardening, and hiking.
Perhaps the married people on CI can come up with a template pf questions for us singles to fill out so that'll be more organized! ::)
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I fully agree with this; available Catholic dating sites practically never have anyone seriously interested in the TLM, even if there is a "latin mass" search filter. In the rare event that someone does attend the Latin mass on those sites, 95% of the time they subscribe to Vatican II theology, are moderate or liberal politically, and also attend diocesan Novus Ordo in addition to the "extraordinary form" as they call it.
There used to be "SSPX singles" and "Sedvecantist singles" dating sites, but those have since been taken down.
The hard truth is that there are many young Catholic singles in their 20's and 30's, who are seeking marriage with good intentions, but simply cannot find anyone purely due to chapel demographics (not many other young people in a given chapel), and geographical location (small chapels scattered far and wide across the country, sometimes in remote rural areas). Long-distance dating, while it has its challenges, is often the only option to get to know people, unless you have the resources for endless travel or staying long-term in a larger Trad community.
There's got to be a way to solve this problem and bring together traditional-minded people who seriously want to pursue Catholic marriage. Yes, dedicated TLM dating websites (or better yet, more opportunities to meet people in person such as appropriately supervised YAGs, collaborative celebrations of feast days between different chapels etc.) would probably be the best options. However, there doesn't appear to be any sign of a TLM dating website or other YAG-type events being organized in the future. it can take a lot of of time and energy to get these started, and if it is an in-person event you need the money and space to make it happen. So, until someone finally has the ability to start one of these options from scratch, perhaps a properly regulated online forum or subforum would still be better than nothing.
To confirm this I want to share my recent experience. There's almost nobody I could possibly court in my chapel. My last relationship was with someone I met on catholicmatch and he appeared to be perfectly traditional in many aspects, politically and even regarding to V2 and we share lots of things in common, but he goes to indult and would never leave. Then we spent most time in our relationship trying to figure this out, with me trying to convince him that there's issue with validity, and at the end it was over because he simply would not leave his parish. As I browse through the website again, most gentlemen are exactly like that, either N.O. or indult, so for our fellow catholics that visit CI here that have better understanding of the current crisis, it's a pure waste of time.
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To confirm this I want to share my recent experience. There's almost nobody I could possibly court in my chapel. My last relationship was with someone I met on catholicmatch and he appeared to be perfectly traditional in many aspects, politically and even regarding to V2 and we share lots of things in common, but he goes to indult and would never leave. Then we spent most time in our relationship trying to figure this out, with me trying to convince him that there's issue with validity, and at the end it was over because he simply would not leave his parish. As I browse through the website again, most gentlemen are exactly like that, either N.O. or indult, so for our fellow catholics that visit CI here that have better understanding of the current crisis, it's a pure waste of time.
Hansel, philothea3... Looks like you two need to PM!! May God's will be done ;):incense:
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Absolutely agreed! I am also a "sedeprivationist" or "private sede" but in my opinion the only criterias that should be essential for a traditional Catholic YAG are that the young people should all completely avoid the novus ordo sacraments and be hardline traditional Catholics. Meaning, they should care and make a point to only attend the Latin Mass and receive Sacraments from valid traditionally ordained and consecrated clergy who are not guilty of pernicious heresy.
Agreed on all points!! I think anyone going here can agree to these criteria!!
I know we have priests lurking here... How about one or multiple of them contact AMDGJMJ via PM and get this started!!
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Agreed on all points!! I think anyone going here can agree to these criteria!!
I know we have priests lurking here... How about one or multiple of them contact AMDGJMJ via PM and get this started!!
My husband and I have talked it over the past couple of days and have tentatively reserved a recreation center for a YAG event for the weekend after Thanksgiving. The location is about 70 miles from Washington, D.C. and a little over an hour from Saint Athanasius Chapel.
We will have to bring our two little stow-aways with us this time, but if this YAG event goes well we may be able to find someone to watch them for a future more formal YAG event.
More info will shared on the specific YAG Meet-up thread. Please keep an eye out for that.
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I think that allowing married couples also to help monitor and give advice might help keep some of the weirdos more at bay... I know a lot of traditional Catholic married people helped me in that regard back when I was trying to determine how to know what people I could trust online to later talk to privately. 😅
The hypothetical married people would have to A) have enough time, not super busy raising a natural-sized family, and B) at a place where there's LESS risk of getting involved with a young single person.
Both of these points suggest that any married persons involved should be in their late 50's at the youngest. You need time, and time is in short supply when you have "kids under 5" in the house. And the married persons would have to be grandfather/matronly figures, so that the young people wouldn't be too attracted to them on a natural level. There's no way to bring the risk to 0 on this heading, only to minimize and limit the risk.
But remember, there is such a thing as risking for a good cause. Even one's very life can be risked for a just cause. Back in the day, most babies were delivered by midwives but whenever there were complications, they called in a "doctor" who was invariably male to perform a C-section, for example. And to this day, doctors are exposed to temptations that most men are not. The same is true, to a lesser degree, of many other professions that closely work with the public. (Think: A/C repairmen. Going to peoples' homes, often while the wife is there alone and the husband is at work...) That's why Catholic doctrine distinguishes between NECESSARY and UNNECESSARY occasions of sin.
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The hypothetical married people would have to A) have enough time, not super busy raising a natural-sized family, and B) at a place where there's LESS risk of getting involved with a young single person.
Both of these points suggest that any married persons involved should be in their late 50's at the youngest. You need time, and time is in short supply when you have "kids under 5" in the house. And the married persons would have to be grandfather/matronly figures, so that the young people wouldn't be too attracted to them on a natural level. There's no way to bring the risk to 0 on this heading, only to minimize and limit the risk.
But remember, there is such a thing as risking for a good cause. Even one's very life can be risked for a just cause. Back in the day, most babies were delivered by midwives but whenever there were complications, they called in a "doctor" who was invariably male to perform a C-section, for example. And to this day, doctors are exposed to temptations that most men are not. The same is true, to a lesser degree, of many other professions that closely work with the public. (Think: A/C repairmen. Going to peoples' homes, often while the wife is there alone and the husband is at work...) That's why Catholic doctrine distinguishes between NECESSARY and UNNECESSARY occasions of sin.
All you say is absolutely true.
It would certainly be better if someone older than me and my husband hosted any such traditional Catholic YAG events, but no one else seems to be willing or able to do it at this time.
We are praying daily for God's will to be done in regards to this event and hope that eventually some older couples can take over hosting such events as these.
Omnia ad majorem Dei Gloriam!