My cousin, who was married for over 20 years with two children, divorced her husband shortly after her father died. She immediately started dating another man, moved in with him, applied for and received an annulment from the “Church” and is now going to re-marry. We just received an invitation to the “wedding”
 I was devastated when I first learned of her leaving her husband. The whole family loved him; he actually converted to the faith from one of the Protestant Sects. I am God father to one of their children.
This annulment and “wedding” raises some questions and emotions in my mind. (Please excuse the rambling)
1.   As I understand it, an Annulment means that the marriage never actually took place. I was at her first wedding (I was in the wedding party) , visited their home many times etc. If they were not married, than maybe I’m not married, my parents aren’t married, nobody’s married !?!?!…how the hell are we supposed to know who the heck is married ???? This is just a clear example of Catholic Divorce.
2.   This Annulment, in my mind , takes away the legitimacy of the Novus Ordo hierarchy , the “Church” is actually taking part in and is putting its stamp of approval on adultery. Wow, Im just sooo ticked off
3.    I can’t go to this ceremony for obvious reasons; my wife is suggesting that we should go to the reception only. I don’t think so because in my mind, how could I celebrate someone choosing to commit a mortal sin?  Not attending this fiasco, is going to cause bad blood in the family, and will shut down any chance of some of them converting to Tradition. I will be seen as the “holier than thou” a_ _ hole who just won’t get with the times.  After all “The Church” says it is OK who are you to say otherwise ???
4.   I still have to decide how to turn down the invitation. Do I just lay it out there? Say nothing? Go out of town? I’m still working this out…..the other thing that ticks me off is her putting us this position, I mean can’t she just go to Vegas, or have a small wedding with just her immediate family, instaed of making us choose?? uRRRRg  
Please pray for me to have the courage to do what’s right !!!

Quote from: Tiffany

Length of marriage is not a factor. The conditions at the time of marriage are. My parents were married only a short time, had been divorced for almost twenty years, my mother is not Catholic and could have cared less (but she did fill out the forms they sent her) and they denied my father's petition.

 

After 34 years and seven children I am amazed anyone can honesty remember the conditions at the time of their marriage.

Sometimes I forget the names of my clients and have to wing-it for a few minutes when they call me; before it pops into my head.

Can anyone remember 1979?  JP2 was the new Pope and I was playing Atari Space Invaders with my brother and bought myself a pair of Nike training shoes for running which none of my school friends had ever seen.  That's about it.

If valid marriage is a contract between two people then the length they remain together should have an implication on the validity.  If two business people had been sharing profits for 30 years and then went before judge and suggested there was never a contract; he would laugh them out of court.  A contract would be implied by the length of time they had been in business.

The only way I could see a 34 year marriage with 7 children being invalid is if there was an objective impediment, like a prior marriage, or one partner had spent 34 years chained in a basement dungeon.

Asking two biased people at least one of whom wants to split, how they felt 34 years ago and basing a decision on that is just silly.