Penitent Woman,

Has your beautiful baby girl been baptised?

Thorn said:

My final (hopefully) words to Penitent is: ( prepare for the blunt truth again- but I believe you can take it) You don't go to church to 'feel good'. That's pure NO. You go to give worship & honor to Almighty God who deserves it & even demands it in the Commandments.
Many of us want God to conform to our will, but we must strive hard to conform to God's will. You may have a long, hard road ahead of you, but you can do it.

Thorn, this is very true about why we go to mass. Thank you for believing in me.



ggreg, thank you for your post. It does bring me hope that some men might be able to recognize that there might actually be a few positive things I could bring to a relationship.

ggreg said:

Most ladies I didn't ask out I found too boring and lacking in strong opinions.  The most important thing for me when getting married was to find someone who could stand up to me as I tend to be very dominant with women.

...on this note however, I would probably be a disappointment to man like yourself. Despite my natural attraction to stronger/dominant males (not sure if this is a good thing about me or not) I do not stand up to men in person.  It just isn't something I like to do. A female friend of mine from childhood has told me this is a dangerous thing for me and will wind me up in another bad situation.  My feeling is, that it could only be a dangerous thing if I were to be involved with someone who is not a man of God and would have no reason to care about my soul. This is what happened to me before. However,  If I were blessed enough to be courted by someone I trusted as a righteous man, I would trust that any dominance displayed would be for my own good.  I guess I had thought that submission was the correct thing to do, and "standing up" was unfeminine. I guess I would like to have a lifestyle where I wouldn't have to regularly interact with unrighteous males.




JohnGrey said:

Are you really trying to tell me that a woman that has engaged in illicit sɛҳuąƖ behavior outside of marriage is not significantly more likely to commit sins against chastity or fidelity than a woman that has been totally innocent of men?  Be serious.

This is where I am trying to show that because I have learned my lesson and live everyday facing the consequences of my sins, that I would be utmost grateful for the opportunity of marriage. I would hope that my repentance would indicate the loyalty I would have towards marriage and the dedication to a good marriage.

Translation: Seek a milktoast meal-ticket that subscribes to socially conservative modernism.

I am not entirely sure what indult mass is, but I will say that I would in no way seek out someone based on income/occupation, nor would I be picky about age.  

Your post does however, make me question a little bit whether or not my efforts to prove myself will be fruitless. I sometimes I wonder if I would be better off pursing marriage with a non-traditional Catholic, and just hope he would be passive or "open minded" enough to let me be me a stay at home mom.  Then maybe if I did a good enough job, this man could heal from his emasculation and could grow into understanding the importance of headship.  I guess this is something I will speak to the priest about.  

Penitent Woman,

Has your beautiful baby girl been baptised?

Capt McQuigg, Yes, she was baptized at just over a week old in an NO parish.  I was thinking of having her blessed by the Traditional priest?

Dear PW,

Speaking from my heart to you.  Please try and not beat yourself up, thinking you will not be a worthy wife for a traditional Catholic man, or that a traditional man would not want you for his beloved wife.  IF a man has that attitude, then shake the dust from your feet.

As Catholics, when we confess our sins humbly, sincerely, and in repentance with the firm purpose of amendment, and the priest administers absolution and gives us our penance, that sin is FORGIVEN!  You are not to wear a scarlet letter, or the like.  Remember, through the sacrament of confession, our souls are made as PURE and clean as the day we were baptised!  What a gift and grace from Our Most loving and forgiving God!  Yes, God is also just, but His justice is tempered with Mercy.  This idea that you are to be cast out to the nether world and undeserving of a joy-filled life to share with a Catholic husband, is nonsense!  

You might just be surprised at how many trad Catholic men would find you to be a suitable wife.  I think it would be an act of humility and mercy to take a wife with a child; I think it would be heroic and virtuous for a man to do so.  First of all, a marriage first and foremost is ordered toward sacrifice.  It would perhaps be a very big sacrifice for a man to marry you under the circuмstance.  Our Good and Gracious God will surely reward such a SELFLESS act!

You say you "might actually have a few positive things you could bring to a relationship".  Do not sell yourself short!  From the little I can gather, I'd say you have many good qualities.

Do not let anyone's post here "make you question a little bit whether or not your efforts to prove yourself will be fruitless".  Leave your efforts in God's very capable Hands!  Trust that if it's in His holy will, He will indeed send you a good Catholic man to be your husband.  I know a little something of what I am speaking about here from personal experience.  Take heart and have faith, trust, and courage!  

Remember this PW:

What man of you that hath an hundred sheep: and if he shall lose one of them, doth he not leave the ninety-nine in the desert, and go after that which was lost, until he find it? And when he hath found it, lay it upon his shoulders, rejoicing: And coming home, call together his friends and neighbours, saying to them: Rejoice with me, because I have found my sheep that was lost?  I say to you, that even so there shall be joy in heaven upon one sinner that doth penance, more than upon ninety-nine just who need not penance.

Our Lord Jesus is the great Physician who heals our souls from our infirmities.  He came to heal the sick, the sinner, for the well are not in need of the Divine Physician!

Stay focused, stay positive, and keep your appointment with Father!  I'm praying for you.

PW, if I may add one more wee thing, not to belabor the point, but when a priest absolves us, loses us from our sin, no human on earth should dare to hold us in that sin.  

I'm sorry, but that's not true.  If a woman is divorced by a man because she commits adultery, and she confesses her sin and receives absolution, he is not obliged to take her back.

If a criminal confesses his sin and receives absolution, that doesn't remit his punishment.

I suppose it depends on what you mean by "hold someone in that sin"

I thought I read "hold someone to that sin"

The bottom line, is that actions have consequences, and while repentance and absolution remove eternal condemnation, they do not remove all punishments.  Whether the punishment is in this life or in purgatory.

When I said "hold someone in their sin", I was speaking of "binding and losing".  That power is for God, through the Tribunal of the confessional.  Yes, of course our actions have consequences, and yes we have punishment whether in this life or the next.  However it is up to God to deem and adjudicate our sins.  You or I nor anyone else cannot judge whether a person has undergone "enough" punishment, that is for God.  

But, my intention is not to get into a debate with you on this subject as I think I understand your stance on this issue.  I was addressing the young lady, and I believe what I have said is correct.  If I am in error, then in charity let the members here show me my error and make correction, for which I will be grateful.

Penitent Woman,

If it is a Traditional Catholic husband that you seek, you certainly won't find one role playing as a "Eucharistic Minister" at some novus ordo church.

Find the Trad Chapel, then meet the Trad Man!   :cool:

However it is up to God to deem and adjudicate our sins.

Yes, but the fact remains that whether or not someone is repentant does not remove the penalties that society and the laws impose.  That is my point.

You or I nor anyone else cannot judge whether a person has undergone "enough" punishment, that is for God.  

The final arbitration of perfect justice belongs to God, the fact remains that human beings decide on the temporal punishments that others deserve all the time.

My advice and I know the world of Tradom better than most having been in it from the start, would be to consider a man who was around 30-35 years old (more likely to have an income which would let you stay at home and homeschool your children) and who goes to the indult masses rather than the SSPX.

Translation: Seek a milktoast meal-ticket that subscribes to socially conservative modernism.

I think you mean Milquetoast.

There are plenty of good Catholic men who attend the Indult mass.  Not everyone can get to the SSPX masses after all.