Author Topic: pregnant girl at mass (Read 32946 times)

PenitentWoman · « **Reply #150 on:** July 07, 2012, 12:15:38 PM »

I requested for the offensive posts to be deleted. Again, I am very sorry for bring so careless. I noted in my very first post here how certain words were hurtful to me, and here I went speaking inappropriately myself.

wallflower · « **Reply #151 on:** July 07, 2012, 01:22:34 PM »

PW you are not alone in blame. Some of the questions being asked of you are inappropriate and shouldn't be asked in the first place. I saw at one point you said you feel like you are being made fun of. I can't say for sure if you are being made of fun of BUT I can say -- trust your gut. Do not answer questions that make you uncomfortable. You opened up the floor by telling your life story but still there is no need for anyone to pry into gritty details or cross-examine you. Trad forum or not it still full of strangers who may or may not have your best interest in mind. Get to know who is who first then choose who to give your ear to and who to disregard. It's no different than how you would guard yourself in real life except there is a bit more danger because of the lulling of anonymity. Just be careful. :)

Sigismund · « **Reply #152 on:** July 07, 2012, 01:26:06 PM »

PenitentWoman is sorry for her sins, has confessed them, been absolved, and done penance for them. Also and very importantly, she did not have an abortion. Why would any Catholic want to add to her grief?

MaterDominici · « **Reply #153 on:** July 07, 2012, 03:38:28 PM »

PW - My suggestion is that you start a thread here asking if there is anyone on this board in your area. Having a "meet up" at your local Trad chapel will ensure that (1) you go and (2) you'll have someone there to ease the discomfort of being in an unfamiliar setting. They could prehaps introduce you to the priest and some other parishioners.

It's quite likely that whomever here may be in your area can be vouched for as having posted here for awhile and therefore be "safe" company.

clare · « **Reply #154 on:** July 07, 2012, 04:42:22 PM »

Quote from: Sigismund

PenitentWoman is sorry for her sins, has confessed them, been absolved, and done penance for them. Also and very importantly, she did not have an abortion. Why would any Catholic want to add to her grief?

Somebody gave this post (and others) the thumbs down. Inexplicable!

PenitentWoman · « **Reply #155 on:** July 07, 2012, 07:06:57 PM »

Quote from: MaterDominici

PW - My suggestion is that you start a thread here asking if there is anyone on this board in your area. Having a "meet up" at your local Trad chapel will ensure that (1) you go and (2) you'll have someone there to ease the discomfort of being in an unfamiliar setting. They could prehaps introduce you to the priest and some other parishioners.

It's quite likely that whomever here may be in your area can be vouched for as having posted here for awhile and therefore be "safe" company.

Thank you. I will think about this. I think though, having embarrassed myself with sharing so much information, I would probably feel too nervous to meet someone just yet. I would hate to further subject them to the anxiety attack I might have going to mass. :sad: I am going to find a priest to talk to.

I assume Novus Ordo mass is not believed to fulfill my Sunday Obligation tomorrow? :-/

I will say this about where I am located. I am within 5 hours of SSPX St. Thomas Aquinas seminary in Winona where there is public mass everyday. I think this is might be the area I will look to find employment.

PenitentWoman · « **Reply #156 on:** July 07, 2012, 07:11:50 PM »

Quote from: clare

Quote from: Sigismund
PenitentWoman is sorry for her sins, has confessed them, been absolved, and done penance for them. Also and very importantly, she did not have an abortion. Why would any Catholic want to add to her grief?

Somebody gave this post (and others) the thumbs down. Inexplicable!

It's okay. I imagine the person either does not believe I am genuine, which would be a fault in how I present myself, or the person really does think I deserve more criticism and have not done enough to repent. If the latter is the case, I would just pray for that person to find it in them to explain to me directly what I should be doing. I have come across a surprising amount of kindness. I can take some criticism, I just wish the person would teach me as Christ would.

Nishant · « **Reply #157 on:** July 07, 2012, 07:18:58 PM »

Really, PW, why do you imagine a mostly anonymous (or at the least totally unknown to you anyway) layman or laywoman is qualified to teach you anything? You'll also find as many opinions as there are heads, which I think will only leave you even more worried at what to truly do. Talk to a priest, he is the person appointed by God for precisely such a thing, he will also be competent to do it properly, and take care only to follow the advice he gives you.

Telesphorus · « **Reply #158 on:** July 07, 2012, 07:30:27 PM »

Quote from: PenitentWoman

It's okay. I imagine the person either does not believe I am genuine, which would be a fault in how I present myself, or the person really does think I deserve more criticism and have not done enough to repent. If the latter is the case, I would just pray for that person to find it in them to explain to me directly what I should be doing. I have come across a surprising amount of kindness. I can take some criticism, I just wish the person would teach me as Christ would.

Who here has criticized her except for the way she related her story and seeming holes it might have?

Nadir · « **Reply #159 on:** July 07, 2012, 08:01:47 PM »

Penitent Woman,

Just a few words of adice from another sinner laywoman:

Please be assured of the love and prayers of genuine people here.

You have confessed and been forgiven.You do not need to prove that to anybody.

Traditional catholics are sinners. There are wise ones and stupid ones. Some are quite screwed up and narrowminded. As time goes on you will be able to judge better who to seek advice from.

You are anonymous, so do not feel shamed.

I was amazed that some would doubt your story, as it seems so real.
Truly I was shocked at the hardness and cruelty of Thorn to ask those impertinent questions. And amazed at the humility you showed in answering them.

I was also shocked that Philomena would tick you off for using inappropriate words in descibing your dilemma, and cannot for the life of me think what she means. But I am not going back to check.
Again your humilty shone through.
It will be a lucky, or should I say blessed, man who marries you!

PenitentWoman · « **Reply #160 on:** July 07, 2012, 08:21:48 PM »

Quote from: Nishant2011

Really, PW, why do you imagine a mostly anonymous (or at the least totally unknown to you anyway) layman or laywoman is qualified to teach you anything? You'll also find as many opinions as there are heads, which I think will only leave you even more worried at what to truly do. Talk to a priest, he is the person appointed by God for precisely such a thing, he will also be competent to do it properly, and take care only to follow the advice he gives you.

I don't mean to teach me about the faith. I just like to know what people who think that holding my head high is self-righteous think that I should do and how I should conduct myself. That is what brought me here. Searching treatment of unwed mothers in the Traditional Catholic Church. I wanted to know what to expect.

First, I find a website where the priest says people should not even attend a baby shower of an unwed mother. Next, I found this board. If I should wear a scarlet letter, then I want to hear it. I don't know why I always want to hear from harsh people. I feel like maybe that itself is part of my penance--hearing from people who think I am a disingenuous w____ or whatever it is they see me as. I say this to show that I am serious about the faith. My loneliness and my exhaustion from working so much make it very tempting to just find a man in the secular world. I just know that it would be a mistake for me to go that route because I feel like God is instructing me to do otherwise.

At the end of the day, if people believe their religion is the absolute truth, you would think they would want others to be a part of it. If the Traditional Catholic Church is the one true church, and you (a follower) have in your hands a person who believes as you do, that wants to be worthy, does Christ want you to help them get there, or push them away?

I don't mean that I want sympathy or dismissal of my sins. I want my sins admonished. I want to know how I become worthy. The faithful can share this with me (as many of you have) or they can avoid even speaking to me directly because they don't believe I ever really could belong. Is there any other sin that is not considered a legal crime that carries more everlasting shame than out of wedlock motherhood? Do you think my daughter's father ever carries the guilt and the sadness that I do? The person who is remorseful and wants to be redeemed is the one who pays the price.

I think it is very hard for people who have known this faith their whole lives (or have who moved into it slowly) to understand how foreign it feels to put it in practice. Things that probably seem simple and natural for a lifelong trad might take me out of my element completely. I have been changing my wardrobe for months now, and I still have to remind myself why I can't skip the sweater over the maxi dress, or why I need to just get rid of all my bathing suits. I did not grow up with these values or these ideas. I have only had one person ever truly compliment me for dressing modestly. I might get a condescending "you look cute" but the rest is teasing. I should not care what people think, but I wonder sometimes if I draw more attention to myself by not doing what every other working woman seems to do. No matter how silly it sounds, it is hard. It is going against the grain for me. I do it because I care about my daughter, I care about our souls, and I want a husband who wants my body to be just for him.

I am really trying. Without the internet I probably would not have ever researched Traditional Catholicism. If you can no longer run or even walk to your goal, I guess you crawl. I am crawling right now.

PenitentWoman · « **Reply #161 on:** July 07, 2012, 08:31:07 PM »

Quote from: Nadir

Penitent Woman,

Just a few words of adice from another sinner laywoman:

Please be assured of the love and prayers of genuine people here.

You have confessed and been forgiven.You do not need to prove that to anybody.

Traditional catholics are sinners. There are wise ones and stupid ones. Some are quite screwed up and narrowminded. As time goes on you will be able to judge better who to seek advice from.

You are anonymous, so do not feel shamed.

I was amazed that some would doubt your story, as it seems so real.
Truly I was shocked at the hardness and cruelty of Thorn to ask those impertinent questions. And amazed at the humility you showed in answering them.

I was also shocked that Philomena would tick you off for using inappropriate words in descibing your dilemma, and cannot for the life of me think what she means. But I am not going back to check.
Again your humilty shone through.
It will be a lucky, or should I say blessed, man who marries you!

Thank you. I did have a post deleted for me so that might be why you cannot see it. I was asked a question about an intimate experience and I answered too directly. My apology for it stands and I am trying to me more careful.

ServusSpiritusSancti · « **Reply #162 on:** July 07, 2012, 08:51:27 PM »

Quote from: PenitentWoman

I assume Novus Ordo mass is not believed to fulfill my Sunday Obligation tomorrow?

Well, all I have access to is the Novus Ordo, yet I do not attend it because I find it to be sacreligious and un-Catholic. The man who created it, Cardinal Bugnini, was a proven Freemason, and it has also been proven that it was created to please the Protestants. Such an abomination cannot possibly be Catholic.

If you don't have a TLM near you, I would advise you to watch one live on the internet. There are three live Masses you can watch on the internet. You should also make a spiritual Communion, of which you can obtain just as many graces as you would from receiving Communion at Mass.

http://www.fisheaters.com/TLMmissingmass.html

(I should add that there is a difference between the FishEaters site for info, and the FishEaters forum. The former is pretty good, the latter not so much.)

Philomena · « **Reply #163 on:** July 07, 2012, 09:04:09 PM »

Quote from: Nadir

Penitent Woman,

Just a few words of adice from another sinner laywoman:

Please be assured of the love and prayers of genuine people here.

You have confessed and been forgiven.You do not need to prove that to anybody.

Traditional catholics are sinners. There are wise ones and stupid ones. Some are quite screwed up and narrowminded. As time goes on you will be able to judge better who to seek advice from.

You are anonymous, so do not feel shamed.

I was amazed that some would doubt your story, as it seems so real.
Truly I was shocked at the hardness and cruelty of Thorn to ask those impertinent questions. And amazed at the humility you showed in answering them.

I was also shocked that Philomena would tick you off for using inappropriate words in descibing your dilemma, and cannot for the life of me think what she means. But I am not going back to check.
Again your humilty shone through.
It will be a lucky, or should I say blessed, man who marries you!

I do not think I "ticked" her off. My post was written with charity and concern for her own soul as well as those of us reading. As I indicated in the post it was intended to offer her help and sound Catholic advice, without a single harsh tone or ill-intention whatsoever.

I am a grandmother and was speaking to this young lady as if she were my own daughter or granddaughter. That is what we Catholics are to do when we are concerned for another's salvation.

PW came here looking for advice, when I saw the nature of some of her posts, that is exactly what I did...offer her advice. When I wrote my post, I was referring to a post of hers she has since had deleted. And yes it contained very graphic description of fornication. My post to her was completely appropriate, and as I already stated it was written with charity and keeping her well-being in mind.

Thorn · « **Reply #164 on:** July 07, 2012, 09:54:11 PM »

Hi Penitent!
I only get on the computer early in the morning to check a few things, then go about my daily duties & come back at nite before bed. I'm usually not on during the day so I missed the posts you asked to be deleted - at least I didn't see any objectionable posts so am assuming they were already deleted.
Thank you for taking the time to clarify your story. I feel better now & don't doubt you. My mother was very blunt & to-the-point & the longer I live I am getting more & more like her. If you asked her, "Does this dress make me look fat?" She told you exactly what maybe you didn't want to hear, but I always knew that she'd tell me the truth. I believe truth is VERY important & so is communication. No, I wasn't making fun of you, & no, I wasn't deliberately trying to be cruel & harsh. I wanted to find out who you really were & I think I did. Your fall from grace wasn't entirely your fault. You're not the first & won't be the last to be messed up by the NO & the present environment. Everyone has given you tons of advice so I won't add to your list except to emphasize to get out of the NO & seek the counsel of a good experienced trad priest, not only for your sake but your daughter's. You have now found the pearl of great price, & now you need to do whatever it takes to get it. Accept your shame & humiliation as your penance & offer it up to God & even thank Him for it! He will be greatly pleased. 'Tis better to suffer greatly in this world than in the next, just remember that. And the suffering, shame, & misery of this world is NOTHING compared to the glory waiting for us in the end if we persevere. Just try every day to conform your will to God's. At first it will be very hard, like climbing a mountain, then you get to the top & it's downhill & joyous all the way!! You'll see. (Try to spent less time on forums, too :-) God bless & keep you & your daughter.

Nadir - so weird how things turn out! I was going to PM you to get more info on your marmalade recipe as I have an overbearing lemon tree & a friend gave me a bunch of grapefruit & oranges from her pruned trees. Guess I'll look elsewhere.