Poverty of Spirit and Liberality are two virtues that have been much on my mind for the past few years. We have been trying hard to foster them in our home in various ways. Does anyone care to share their habits and tips? I have such a fear of raising greedy entitled kids (which happens among our trads and the poor as easily as among the worldly and rich) and I want to truly put it into practice in all the little ways we may not think about in our world of plenty.

I am curious about what other parents do, and open to any reading suggestions too.

Yes that is what I am looking for. The specific little ways in which people make do with what they have and temper the thirst for more "stuff" both in themselves and in their children.

A couple of examples:

The kids don't have huge birthday parties every year. Sometimes family is around and it's a bigger deal but sometimes it's just us, a cake and a gift. There is no expectation of one-upping every year.

We don't bring character items into the home (unless received from others but that is not often) so that they don't get into the habit of needing new  clothes/shoes/toys/bedding etc... every time a new character comes out. Not that they see them all anyway but we still proactively avoid those marketing traps.

Gifts are rarely more than $20-50 and are usually items with long-lasting value. My husband and I don't exchange gifts for every occasion either. We surprise each other with a little something a few times a year but we don't have the expectation of a gift for every occasion.

We keep our meal plans very simple; feasts and desserts are kept for Sundays and feast days. More specific example, during the week we have a treat after one meal a day and it is along the lines of fruit, dark chocolate, nuts. Nothing truly "decadent".  

We try not to replace things if they are simply an eyesore. For example my comforter is 8 years old, faded and the quilting is bunched in one corner but we will use it until it is falling apart. It just being old is not a reason to get rid of it and spend money on a new one.

We try to care for the items we have. We teach the kids to keep track of their books, toys and clothes. They have special spots to put puzzle pieces so that they are not lost etc...

Rather than selling extras we outright give them away.

It's really important that my husband and I instill it in our own hearts first so it can't be just about what we "deny" the children, we have to be aiming for something positive, a detachment from material goods so we can attach to God. Part of my fear stems from the fact that in this country even the poor are wealthy, so I know we are at an automatic disadvantage. I am hoping others can help me gain more insight on these virtues and how to foster them in our home.
 


 

The worldlings call it "Voluntary Simplicity", when we do it out of the love of God it is the "Spirit of Poverty".

The specifics will vary from one to another, it's adopting the "attitude", the "spirit" of poverty which will guide day to day decisions.  The spirit of poverty is being detached from things.  I own things, they do not own me.  Cultivate an attitude of contentment with whatever God provides.

We limited our kids to 3 gifts at Christmas explaining that Christ received 3 gifts so in imitation of the Magi we give 3 also.  Our gifts have never been expensive but for those families with greater means I would expect the gifts to be commensurate with their station in life.  It's one thing to practice the "spirit of poverty" it's quite another to be a cheapskate or miserly.

In daily life it would mean living below one's income so as to be able to help those less fortunate.  For me it means buying used when possible, not buying "the best" quality but the level necessary to get the job done.  It also means giving away what I do not need, and taking care of the things I do have.

Avoiding advertising is the easiest way to resist the desire for riches and to obtain a spirit of poverty.  Give up tv, mindless internet surfing, commercial radio, magazines, etc.  Detaching from the world will almost guarantee an easier time cultivating a spirit of poverty.

I don't have any advice, because we don't have any practical experience. My input is simply ideas. With our first on the way, my husband and I have been discussing this very subject- I'm so happy to see it discussed here!

We, like many trads, are on a limited budget.  Truly there are many blessings that come with that, despite the many hardships. We don't have any plans of striking it rich during our lifetime, and realistically we understand that money will more than likely be tight for the duration of our lives. I think this type of environment naturally brings about what we are seeking in regards to a spirit of poverty.

Of course no TV, and we've tossed around the idea of no internet. We ditched the cell phones, and have just the home phone. Neither of us ever grew comfortable will being available to people at all times with the cell phone. It makes everything so instant, and texting drives us crazy. Texting has made children and teenagers inept at communicating properly, not to mention adults! There is no way in the world my children, no matter how old, will have smart phones or anything similar.

At the moment, we live in town, but our plan hopefully within the next 5 years will be to move to the country, outside of a small town, where we will be largely self-sustaining and I'll homeschool. So the children will be raised to be skilled in gardening and animal husbandry, which teaches where food comes from and that it takes hard work to get it. Children will be expected to work in ways appropriate to their age.

Fortunately, my husband is a woodworker, so he'll make the children's toys. We've already decided that we don't want a designated toy room where the children have so many toys that they don't care about any of them. They'll have a few toys that they will be responsible for caring for. We'd like to avoid large birthday parties for this very reason. Living in the country provides lots opportunities for wholesome entertainment where they can create their own toys and fun. A back yard in town does as well.

We've already decided that there will be no extravagant themed children's bedrooms, which is such a large trend these days.

Sweets, as others have mentioned, will be reserved for feast days, birthdays, baptismal birthdays, and other special occasions. We decided this recently, and my husband is currently finding this a hard thing to achieve, as this is not his habit, and he wants to have it down before it's time to implement it with children.  We'd also, like Nadir, like to avoid the snacking at will. Snacks will be homemade instead of in a package. In other words, no cabinet full of snack items to choose from. Hopefully, the children will be able to help make their own snacks.

I love everybody's idea of caring for the things that they already have. I hope that we can instill that well in our children. We have a lot of ideals that are easy to dream up- but I'm sure that implementing them will be much more difficult!

As for the idea of caring for things.  For example:  a neighbor desired to find a "flight jacket" for her husband.  His was worn. I looked at the jacket which was her husband's dads' from military era.  It had wear on the cuffs and neck area.  I told my neighbor, Oh, my, you want to keep this!  They don't make them like this anymore.  Look at the main coats material, not a tear or hole!  You want to repair!  I know thai seamstresses near the Base here.  They could do that!  So, she was to get the fabric for the cuffs and neckline.  She paid a lower price, kept an heirloom!  

When I go to thrift stores, I find quality!  At our church, I was asked to take girls to get their wardrobe   for school in Nebraska.  The thrift stores I have in my area, are well maintained and very clean, volunteers, no taxes!  The quality of clothing coming from the "Sun City" elderly area is just wonderful!  I let these girls know how to recognized quality in clothing.  One tried on sneakers and she said it fit but there was a bump in the shoe.  I asked her to point it out to me.  It was an arch.  Ha!

I taught my children to crochet, since I do that.  This is another way for children to see what goes into making anything, even a meal.  My Uncle was into wood.  Everything right down to the picture frames, he made.  He made me a fruit bowl, which is a treasure to me, for he made it, thinking of me!