You should pray the 15 decade Rosary everyday.
Yes. I've done this a few times, and on others I only managed 5 decades due to lukewarmness. I've felt humbled and closer to God every time I've prayed the Rosary though, so I'll resolve to pray the 15 decades every day (starting today).
God bless.
Keep reading the saints' lives and never give in to discouragement. Pray the rosary every day, meditating on the mysteries, and looking for lessons in them.
What you describe is very common in neophytes. God shows us the condition of our soul to the degree that He knows we will not get discouraged. We must always trust Him. Be grateful when you see your faults, and immediately ask for help. Don't expect the sacraments and sacramentals to change you permanently, or instantly. They do change you, of course, but the change isn't always sensible, or the kind that we were expecting. See your faults as proof of the truth of the Faith. Never be vexed by them. That's a kind of pride - expecting perfection from ourselves. It's very important never to get discouraged.
Thank you for your kind advice,
MariaCatherine, God bless you. I've noticed change already, but what's impeded my progress is my pride. I've been failing to attribute the graces that I've received to God by falsely attributing them to myself. You're right about expecting perfection; I think it is due to impatience as well as pride. I have stupidly expected myself to be made a Saint overnight, and have been really impatient with God by asking him for graces that I am not humble enough to receive, and that would surely be my downfall if I received them in my current pride. I think part of the problem is that I've spent too much time online trying to figure things out in regards to the Crisis in the Church, after deciding that I wanted to be made a Catholic. This search for answers has slowed me down a bit, and in the process of hearing about how the Church has been infiltrated by modernists, communists, freemasons, sodomites, etc., I've allowed the Devil to puff me up with pride, imagining myself as some kind of Elias figure, destined to restore the Church. I haven't even received my first Holy Communion and I already suffer from pharisaical delusions of religious pride. I couldn't give a basic sermon without stammering and yet I entertain pictures of myself as a booming, fire-and-brimstone preacher in the order of Elias. Vanity of vanities. I've also noticed that I have developed a sweet-tooth for spiritual sweetness. I've read a passage from St. John of the Cross where he describes this malady as "spiritual gluttony". To summarize, I need to spend more time in a Church absorbing a sense of my own littleness, and less time on the mind-warping pseudo-reality of the internet where you are your own God with a world at your fingertips.
I've been tempted to go to the Novus Ordo Church that is nearby, as the nearest traditional chapel, an SSPX chapel, is 1.5 hrs away. On the other hand, why should I handle something as important as religion so carelessly? Surely I owe it to God to seek out correct instruction in his Faith and the form of worship pleasing to Him. I've been to that Novus Ordo church (a beautiful old cathedral) once, and on the way out I overheard the priest saying to an anglican woman who had stopped by for the service that there was no real difference between the Catholic & Anglican churches, which is not encouraging for somebody who is looking for the ancient, dogmatic Catholic religion (and what is frustrating about the situation is the people who talk about how they needed to modernize the Church in order to attract young people to it; obviously these unfortunate idiots are unaware that the main attraction of the Catholic Church for an outsider is that it's the only institution that dogmatically claims to have the Truth amidst a society filled with liberal, sceptical, "there is no truth, only different points of view" institutions. I went to said SSPX chapel the other day; unfortunately the Priest that was offering Mass that day was not one of the usual priests that goes to that chapel, and so I was unable to talk to him about arranging catechism and being confirmed in the Church. I'm thinking of ringing the SSPX (which I have done once before, where the Priest advised me to come down to the nearest chapel and see what it was like) and asking them to arrange catechism for me, so that I can be joined to the Church and start receiving the blessed sacraments already (which I'm sure will be a great step forward in progress; especially considering I have 21 years of an irreligious, atheist life's worth of sin to repent for, as, unfortunately, I think that the baptism I received as an infant in the Church of England was valid, so I don't think that I can have my sins washed in that less humiliating fashion
). Yeah, I think this mortal sin lingering in my soul
might just be an impediment to receiving graces from and friendship with God, maybe; perhaps you veteran Catholics can tell me whether or not I'm correct.
One great book is 'True Devotion to Mary' by St. Louis Marie de Montfort. Another is 'Introduction to the Devout Life' by St. Francis de Sales.
I've bought a Kindle version of St. Louis'
True Devotion, but I'm thinking of setting it aside for the time being for the reason that it involves a serious religious devotion that I don't think I would be able to honour properly as yet.