Author Topic: Pathetic looking down on woman who married early to have kids (Read 2601 times)

Telesphorus · « **Reply #5 on:** September 16, 2010, 01:47:33 AM »

Quote from: MaterDominici

Tele -- do you think young men should be allowed to marry as freely as young women??

Young men are constrained by economic circuмstances, in large part because women compete for them for work.

I think an age difference between men and women is natural.

Look at the Patriarchs. Even Adam was created before Eve.

I think a woman should give the best years of her life to her husband, not to college. Feminists want family men to fight over faded flowers without chastity.

I would say, it's probably ideal for a girl to marry at 17 or 18 (which in the past was when most women had just reached full maturity) and for a man to marry at 24. Indeed that age seems to be when many women tend to fall in love. Ten years difference shouldn't be a problem. I can understand objections to 20 year age differences. My view, however, is that a girl would not be interested in men over 30 if it were not natural. I'm certainly against girls marrying old men for money, but that has nothing to do with young women who want to marry men in their 30s.

Another fact that is not discussed a great deal is the fact that girls tend to prefer men who are older. Coeducation is particularly vicious in that it puts men and women who are the same age together, when the girls are much more mature than the boys. (though neither can really handle the tension created)

I find there's far more objection to a man over 30 talking to an 18 year old girl than there is to a boy seriously dating during his first year of college.

And it seems clear to me the priests do not object to such a
such a pharisaical inversion of values.

Telesphorus · « **Reply #6 on:** September 16, 2010, 01:58:31 AM »

Quote

I find there's far more objection to a man over 30 talking to an 18 year old girl than there is to a boy seriously dating during his first year of college.

I can just guess what they would say at fisheaters about this.

No one can say it isn't Catholic for a man over 30 to marry a woman under 20.

But you would think it's worse than any heresy by the way people react to it.

MaterDominici · « **Reply #7 on:** September 16, 2010, 02:00:09 AM »

Thanks, Tele.

I agree with much of what you say and will add this to my list of things to respond to when it's not 2 am!

Good night and God bless!

CathMomof7 · « **Reply #8 on:** September 16, 2010, 11:36:11 PM »

Quote from: Telesphorus

I would say, it's probably ideal for a girl to marry at 17 or 18 (which in the past was when most women had just reached full maturity) and for a man to marry at 24. Indeed that age seems to be when many women tend to fall in love. Ten years difference shouldn't be a problem.

Another fact that is not discussed a great deal is the fact that girls tend to prefer men who are older.

Our oldest son is 18 and has recently gone off to university. He is doing well. We had this conversation before he left. We talked about the fact that, historically, the man has usually been several years older than the woman, mainly because he is a provider. I have also explained that he would be much better off if he chooses a younger woman, around 18-21, when he marries. This discussion made perfect sense to him. He can see no value in marrying a "career" woman.

PartyIsOver221 · « **Reply #9 on:** September 17, 2010, 08:27:51 AM »

That article was utter rubbish. I still think that what might have been the norm 1500 years ago is not something that is applicable in today's society. People married 10 year old girls a long time ago. A 10 year old girl today is no where near what she was mature-wise, skill-wise, etc., as yesteryear. If the couple today is relatively close in age (same, or fluctuating within 5 years), there's a much higher chance for common interests, sharing of bonds, relationship growing, rather than "hey I'm the provider and you're the baby-maker".

Don't get me wrong, I'm traditional to the core, but is that the norm that the most important thing is the man needs to be just the provider (no emotion), and the woman is just the baby-grower (no emotion back to him)? Creating life is an amazing experience, I'm sure of it, but marriage has a unitive component that should also be addressed in order to facilitate a healthy marriage (aka going on dates still even after 10 years of being together, buying flowers (or growing your own, if you are a real OTG'er), and going on a vacation every now and then (local or abroad... more likely local in today's political/financial climate).

Parents need to be the Catholic mentors they should be...teaching starts in the home...but the home must learn first from the Church.