Author Topic: nursing homes (Read 2697 times)

jman123 · « **on:** July 13, 2012, 11:45:44 AM »

I found this on another forum. I would like your thoughts on this.

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Today, I had to visit a relative at a nursery home. He does not want to be there, and I can't blame him. It's basically a place to have him and other seniors wait to die. I once heard a trad priest say in a sermon that since our parents took care of us when no one else would, and we were helpless, we are obligated to the same when they are old. The Fifth Commandment. I would never want my grandparents or my mother in such a situation. Needless to say, I would not want to be in one myself.

Unfortunately, we can't do much since we are only distant relatives. I simply would like some trad. Cath. thoughts on this issue.

s2srea · « **Reply #1 on:** July 13, 2012, 12:01:06 PM »

Jman,

Its disgusting how the culture today has perpetuated this idea that the elderly are somehow a burden. I've seen these types of places as well, and they are really sad. You said it well when you said they're places for people to 'wait and die'. Many of those care workers are immigrants who studied in other countries and aren't sufficiently trained as nurses. When I was a firefighter and would arrive at calls at these homes, I was appalled at the lack of basic medical understanding some of these people had; it was negligence, as far as I'm concerned.

catherineofsiena · « **Reply #2 on:** July 13, 2012, 04:06:04 PM »

I agree with both of you. It is so sad. I can't stand to walk in there, let alone work in such a place. Human life is disposable and people are selfish. Plus, there is no one at home anymore to take care of the elderly relatives or even the children.

songbird · « **Reply #3 on:** July 13, 2012, 08:40:55 PM »

I take it that you are far away. Who is medical advisor, in the family? Can a priest come by every 6 weeks to bring the sacraments? It is difficult to get information of a patient when there are so many private things that can not be told. Be sure to have Masses said for these residents. You can visit and watch and still their care is just not enough or how we would do it if we could at home. We cared for our mom for 8 months as long as God would allow. Mom was in a care facility for a year before her death. One nurse was relieved of her duties for over dosing mom, she was diabetic. The over dosing was on purpose to get an ambulance to take her to the hospital of which my husband worked in Pharmacy. Mom was over dose whenever there was a 3 day weekend, and that is how the nurse was caught. I kept a journal, but still, these residents still could get better care. To few caregivers per residents also.

Tiffany · « **Reply #4 on:** July 14, 2012, 05:44:33 AM »

Songbird I'm so sorry about your mom's experience, what an evil person.

Sometimes it's nearly impossible to care for someone at home. I've known spouses that just could not handle the physical demands of caring for someone. Sometimes people are combatitive too.

Some nursing home are terrible but there are nice ones too but these are privately funded only more affluent people go there. There are Catholic ones that have Mass in the mornings.
I know of a small plain one and the care is great. My Aunt had one out of her home for several years and she is an excellent nurse. When she was not there her friends would be there so they were always with a registered nurse.

Many are terrible though and have only the minimum of staff and some of the staff neglects the patients. If these places would lower the ratio of nurse assistants to patients it would make a world of difference.

If you are in the US consider purchasing long term care insurance for yourself and your parents. You can get a policy that provides some home health care to help the patient at home longer.

songbird · « **Reply #5 on:** July 14, 2012, 08:01:17 AM »

Wow, it would be great to have a True Catholic owned and operated care facility! And with euthanasia the way it is, and it is even behind our backs, without even signing anything I see our life expendency short.

sedetrad · « **Reply #6 on:** July 14, 2012, 08:02:49 AM »

Quote

long term care insurance for yourself and your parents.

The above insurance becomes very prohibitively expensive when your parents reach 60 years of age. My father had to drop this insurance for he and my mother due to the horrendous cost. They are both fit and healthy non smokers. My father is also relativity affluent. The cost was just too high.

PenitentWoman · « **Reply #7 on:** July 14, 2012, 09:23:51 AM »

So sad. :cry:

Around Christmas time I started taking the baby to visit the nursing home that is right by where we live. Elderly people just seem to love babies. We have started making it a regular thing for after mass on Sundays since we have no family obligations like other people do. It is so sad to me how few of the residents have visitors that come, especially on Sunday of all days.

One of the ladies has knit 2 hats and a blanket for my little girl. So sweet.

Elizabeth · « **Reply #8 on:** July 14, 2012, 11:13:23 AM »

This obscene situation is a direct result of no more Nursing Sisters, no more great convents, no vocations.

:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

We are supposed to have nuns help us die properly.

We had the Ursulines, The Alexis Brothers, Daughters of Charity, Sisters of Mercy etc. etc. etc. to care for the sick and dying. Also, the presence of these religious taught society how to deal with illness and death.

My first job in High School was at a nursing home, part of a property of an abandoned convent. This whole issue is an atrocity. Even priests can't get their fellow priests over for Last Rites. Just imagine how many people are going to Hell; it's sick!

Tiffany · « **Reply #9 on:** July 14, 2012, 11:55:13 AM »

Quote from: PenitentWoman

So sad. :cry:

Around Christmas time I started taking the baby to visit the nursing home that is right by where we live. Elderly people just seem to love babies. We have started making it a regular thing for after mass on Sundays since we have no family obligations like other people do. It is so sad to me how few of the residents have visitors that come, especially on Sunday of all days.

One of the ladies has knit 2 hats and a blanket for my little girl. So sweet.

Maybe you could bring her some yarn, look next time you are at a thrift store, look on Craigslist or just ask around, there might be a knitter in your parish with a stash of yarn and she would be thrilled to give some to a nursing home resident. Caron Simply Soft is a soft yarn and it's about $3.50 a skein @ Wal-Mart.

PenitentWoman · « **Reply #10 on:** July 14, 2012, 02:26:17 PM »

Quote from: Tiffany

Quote from: PenitentWoman
So sad. :cry:

Around Christmas time I started taking the baby to visit the nursing home that is right by where we live. Elderly people just seem to love babies. We have started making it a regular thing for after mass on Sundays since we have no family obligations like other people do. It is so sad to me how few of the residents have visitors that come, especially on Sunday of all days.

One of the ladies has knit 2 hats and a blanket for my little girl. So sweet.

Maybe you could bring her some yarn, look next time you are at a thrift store, look on Craigslist or just ask around, there might be a knitter in your parish with a stash of yarn and she would be thrilled to give some to a nursing home resident. Caron Simply Soft is a soft yarn and it's about $3.50 a skein @ Wal-Mart.

Great idea! I will do this. :smile:

SouthernBelle · « **Reply #11 on:** July 14, 2012, 05:48:57 PM »

Nursing homes are a sad reflection of modern life.

Medicine has allowed people to live longer, but not necessarily healthier. This often means that the elderly today require care that a family member (usually a female, often with children still at home - thus the term the "sandwich generation") is simply not able to give. I've known several people who have had to put a loved one in a nursing home; the decision was not made easily, and did not bring any happiness. But when caring for an elderly parent begins to consume a household, there is nothing morally wrong in looking for help elsewhere.

As for the care given in nursing homes, it's true that there are good and bad examples. Unfortunately, like in many areas, money talks. Additionally, the vast majority of nursing home patients are Medicare recipients, which pays next to nothing. This means that the homes must, in turn, pay the lowest wages to healthcare personnel, which tends to attract the least professional, least attentive caregivers. It also means that many homes are woefully understaffed for the amount of patients they have.

As a nurse, I used to get nursing home patients in my hospital ward (telemetry). I would never say that the patients we got were neglected, but some were better cared for than others. The best cared for patients were the ones that had attentive staff and attentive family. Sad to say, we used to often get patients in the hospital who never had a visit or even a phone call from family, but the nursing home nurses would call and check up on them.

jman123 · « **Reply #12 on:** July 15, 2012, 01:43:52 PM »

Quote from: SouthernBelle

Nursing homes are a sad reflection of modern life.

Medicine has allowed people to live longer, but not necessarily healthier. This often means that the elderly today require care that a family member (usually a female, often with children still at home - thus the term the "sandwich generation") is simply not able to give. I've known several people who have had to put a loved one in a nursing home; the decision was not made easily, and did not bring any happiness. But when caring for an elderly parent begins to consume a household, there is nothing morally wrong in looking for help elsewhere.

As for the care given in nursing homes, it's true that there are good and bad examples. Unfortunately, like in many areas, money talks. Additionally, the vast majority of nursing home patients are Medicare recipients, which pays next to nothing. This means that the homes must, in turn, pay the lowest wages to healthcare personnel, which tends to attract the least professional, least attentive caregivers. It also means that many homes are woefully understaffed for the amount of patients they have.

As a nurse, I used to get nursing home patients in my hospital ward (telemetry). I would never say that the patients we got were neglected, but some were better cared for than others. The best cared for patients were the ones that had attentive staff and attentive family. Sad to say, we used to often get patients in the hospital who never had a visit or even a phone call from family, but the nursing home nurses would call and check up on them.

Modern society is bad in a way on treating the elderly.

songbird · « **Reply #13 on:** July 15, 2012, 03:58:11 PM »

We would bring the family dog to visit, a pekingnese. He was born blind and he was gentle and his nose was very strong. After a year of visiting, he licked one patient too much and that resident died within a week. The residents love dogs and when our dog would come to visit, he got so excited, because he loves getting his lovin's. A resident asked, is your dog a therapy dog. Well, no, but his therapy is getting his lovin's.

songbird · « **Reply #14 on:** July 15, 2012, 03:59:59 PM »

When I said our dog licked a patient and they died later, I don't mean our dog did it. Ha! But he did this with our mom before she died as well, animals know.