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Offline copticruiser

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Novus Order Bedtime story
« on: December 30, 2013, 01:47:18 PM »
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  • THE CHICKEN CHALET

    STORY

     

    Once there was a guy named Jokey. Jokey use to eat store bought chicken. Fortunately Jokey also ate some farm raised chicken. Jokey noticed a difference, but never complained. After all the store bought chicken was good for you, It had to be..... because the store was allowed to sell it.

     

    Jokey new a lady from the city, her name was Palema. Palema told Jokey to go to Chicken Chalet's  in the City and try the excellent Chicken dinner that they serve. She said the Chicken is Awesome and FREAKING excellent.

     

    Jokey had tried eating at Chicken Chalet years before and thought the Chicken tasted like  crap. But since Palema said that it was FREAKING good, he thought he might try it once again, as maybe his memory was bad. Off went Jokey with his wife Nannie to Chicken Chalet  for chicken.

     

    The chicken they ordered looked really good, it even smelt good, but once Jokey sunk his teeth into the chicken, he found it really wasn't Chicken at all. Rather it was some white, hormone infected, force fed, decrepit, dough like creature that maybe looked like a chicken from the outside, but on the inside it was most definitely something else. And it tasted like crap!

     

    Jokey called Palema and told her what he thought, "it tasted like crap". Unfortunately it was such a long time since Palema had ate a real chicken, She could not notice the difference. Actually Palema really believed that this chicken, truly was FREAKING good.

     

    After this discussion Palema went and had a good visit with her good friends and told them what Jokey said. All of Palema's friends said Jokey must be crazy. Chicken Chalet served perfectly good Chicken, it truly is good Chicken. After all even the FDA(VAT) said it was perfectly good chicken, it was the same good chicken that they could buy at the local grocery stores, plus it was available at all the other Restaurants in town.

     

    "Jokey must be crazy, he doesn't know what a chicken is", and all of Palema's friends got quiet...." Who does Jokey think he is?", they said. " He doesn't even realize that he doesn't know what a chicken is." After all even the FDA(VAT) has proved without a shadow of a doubt that what we eat here is Chicken, and actually FREAKING good chicken.

     

    Poor Jokey, he went out to the corrals and found himself a nice plump chicken that was running around. Lopped off its head, plucked and gutted it, put it in the pot and cooked it for Nannie.

     

    Before eating the Chicken Jokey and Nannie said grace and thanked the Lord for a Truly True Chicken. Before sinking his teeth into the Chicken, Jokey stopped to take a closer look at what he was about to eat. As he studied the bird he notice the color of the meat was different then Chicken Chalets, the meat had some firmness to it, the muscle were firm, even the bones were solid. They weren't black and soft, the meat wasn't like dough. And the smell, definitely was better. Once Jokey sunk his teeth into the meat, a tear came to his eyes. The flavor was not bland and tasteless. The flavor was comparable to lets say... Gregorian Chant. vs a Guitar led, hands up in the air Pentecostal song with drums...

     

    Jokey said to Nannie I feel so sorry for all those sheeple in the city who are eating FDA(VAT) approved  decrepit dough like birds, and what is so sad is that all those poor sheeples don't even know the difference. After all, that's all they have been fed for the past 50 years or so.

     

    Nannie consoled Jokey, but reminded him that the chicken that they were eating  did not have the FDA(VAT) stamp of approval. In actuality, it wasn't even really chicken, Because after all the Local FDA(Bisho) wouldn't even let Jokey, his family, plus 20 other fake chicken lovers to use the local restaurant.

     

     







    Jokey was very concerned, for the sheeple people. Jokey even contacted his friend named Jonally. Jokey told Jonally, "somethings wrong with the FDA(VAT) approved chicken". Jonally  confirmed what Palama said. "Jokey you aren't really eating real chicken." I can affirm you on this. After all  the FDA(VAT) said that its not real Chicken. Jonally went so far as to even say these Farm Chicken lovers are actually HERETICS. The FDA(VAT) has stated very clearly that these so  called farm raised chickens are not actually chickens at all. Only the FDA(VAT) chicken are real chickens.

     

    Jokey went home shaking his head, how could these white birds, that live on the farm, eat bugs and grass and lay eggs, and sing Gregorian chant, not be real chickens, not only that, but they are(according to Jonelly) "HERETICAL", "SCHISMATIC" chickens.

     

     

    Jokey went to bed that night, after praying to the Holy Spirit for guidance, had a good sleep. Next morning Jokey went on the computer to read the news. To Jokey's surprise the headlines on the computer stated that the president of the FDA(VAT) Made a public statement that Farm Chickens are safe to eat, and not only are they not HERETICS, he went so far as to state that they are REAL CHICKENS, and they have never been excommunicated, and every real Chicken Lover has a right to eat real Chicken. The president even went so far as to say that even the lower level FDA(VAT)(BISHO) commanders were not allowed to stop Real Chicken Lovers from eating real chicken.

     

    This made Jokey and Nannie very happy, Finally the FDA has clarified to the world that they truly do eat Real Chicken.

    Even though the FDA(VAT) considered the  chicken EXTRA-ORDINARY chicken. Funny, Jokey always thought his chickens were just ordinary chickens, after all they have been around for the past 6,000,000 years. He really thought the chickens that Jonally and Palema ate were EXTRA UN-ORDINARY, since they have only been around for the past 50 years.

     

     

    Jokey was really looking forward to real chicken, but as time past the local leaders mostly ignored the president of the FDA(VAT). Unfortunately many sheeples who came to love the  store bought chicken, and its gooey meat, were so use to it (50+)years of it. They were not about to change.

    Jokey came to realize that the promoters of Chicken Challete's chicken really disliked the farm raised chicken. WHY?? ..Because Farm Raised Chicken is Totally different then the FDA(VAT) hormone filled, black, soft bone, dough like, meat creatures, which they call chicken, FREAKING AWESOME chicken.

     

    Jokey and Nannie take consolation that our Previous FDA(VAT) leader made it very clear to the world that FARM raised chicken are real chicken, and that not even our local FDA (VAT) reps are allowed to stop us from eating real chicken, he even went so far as to clarify to the world that the promoters of real chicken cannot be called EX COMMUNICATED, nor can they be considered in Formal SCHISM

     

    One Final and Most Important Point..

     

    A earlier FDA(VAT) President (who is a canonized Saint) proclaimed with the FDA(VAT) stamp of approval 443 years ago that those who want real chicken, will always be able to have real chicken FOREVER! No one will ever be able to prohibit real chicken lovers from eating real chicken... Forever...

    Those Who Promote Chicken Chalet's chicken, have no authority to force us to eat it...  Nor shall those who promote real chicken, be penalized...Forever..

     

    This is the Law of the FDA, leaders cannot change this.

    No wonder the protectors of real chicken are considered a "CHICKEN BONE" stuck in the FDA(VAT) throat..and the advocates of Chicken Chalet don't want to accept it.

     

     

    REGARDING THE TRADITIONAL MASS

     "Quo Primum"





    "Furthermore, by these presents and by virtue of Our Apostolic authority, We give and grant in perpetuity that for the singing or reading of Mass in any church whatsoever this Missal may be followed absolutely, without any scruple of conscience or fear of incurring any penalty, judgment or censure, and may be freely and lawfully used. Nor shall bishops, administrators, canons, chaplains and other secular priests, or religious of whatsoever Order or by whatsoever title designated, be obliged to celebrate Mass otherwise than enjoined by Us. We likewise order and declare that no one whosoever shall be forced or coerced into altering this Missal; and this present Constitution can never be revoked or modified, but shall forever remain valid and have the force of law

    Offline copticruiser

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    Novus Order Bedtime story
    « Reply #1 on: December 30, 2013, 01:49:21 PM »
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  • Here is the reason the story was wrote which was actually an inspired dream my husband had so he composed it on paper as soon as he awoke.



     









    to Joe and Annie

     

     I feel like this is backfiring for you guys - you are just sort of looking like the crazy heretics all the time.
     You know, I brought up your dilemma to some of our Catholic friends, and I initially said it was too bad that the Roman Catholic church  said no to you (knowing that your intent was to celebrate mass, and how protestants are allowed to celebrate in the catholic church but your group of Catholics are not) and they all got quiet and said. "Protestants know they are protestants,  but Levebre Catholics dont know they aren't Catholics (in full communion.)"
     Now that might bring you to rage...and you might shake your head and point the finger and say No - YOUR NOT. but then consider how you talk about the Popes and how you think and how watered down we are, and how you doubt if the novus order is a valid mass...etc. etc. and I have to agree...you have set yourself apart and not in a Holy way.
     Then there are all these emails and videos that only spell division in the Church. If there was a family member in our household always putting down the people we loved it would break the family bond.
    I was listening to a talk by Jeff Cavins - (a Catholic theologian) and he is doing a talk on whether we are fans of Christ or followers of Christ, - now...Im not judging you in any way - and in fact this made me pause and meditate on my personal shortcomings. But his challenge was - alot of us love talking and learning and debating about Christ and we love what he stands for...but are we living the call to holiness and doing what it takes to be His follower?
     Im not certain if you feel its your mission to convert the world - but I know Saint Therese said that people talk and debate too much and need to focus on what is important. (rough quote ;)
    I wonder if there is a way to stand for Truth without telling a lie in the process.
     You have to love me! We are related!
    God bless


    Offline poche

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    Novus Order Bedtime story
    « Reply #2 on: December 30, 2013, 11:25:20 PM »
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  • Jokey went home shaking his head, how could these white birds, that live on the farm, eat bugs and grass and lay eggs, and sing Gregorian chant, not be real chickens, not only that, but they are(according to Jonelly) "HERETICAL", "SCHISMATIC" chickens.



    Maybe I've been away from the farm for too long but I have never heard chickens singing gregorian chant.

    Offline crossbro

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    Novus Order Bedtime story
    « Reply #3 on: December 31, 2013, 12:01:29 AM »
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  • What does any of this have to do with gluten free chicken ?

    At one parish, just before every mass an announcement is made asking people to raise their hands and let the ems know if they want gluten free Host- it is the politically correct thing to do you know, don't want anyone dying from all that gluten.

    Itt is real wonderful in this NO parish where you cannot even pray through all the loud talk about football scores that you get to also learn about everyone's petty eating habits.

    Offline poche

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    Novus Order Bedtime story
    « Reply #4 on: December 31, 2013, 12:06:58 AM »
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  • Quote from: crossbro

    What does any of this have to do with gluten free chicken ?

    At one parish, just before every mass an announcement is made asking people to raise their hands and let the ems know if they want gluten free Host- it is the politically correct thing to do you know, don't want anyone dying from all that gluten.

    Itt is real wonderful in this NO parish where you cannot even pray through all the loud talk about football scores that you get to also learn about everyone's petty eating habits.

    If there are taht many people who have the gluten intolerance then maybe that is a good idea.


    Offline crossbro

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    Novus Order Bedtime story
    « Reply #5 on: December 31, 2013, 12:15:31 AM »
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  • Quote from: poche
    Quote from: crossbro

    What does any of this have to do with gluten free chicken ?

    At one parish, just before every mass an announcement is made asking people to raise their hands and let the ems know if they want gluten free Host- it is the politically correct thing to do you know, don't want anyone dying from all that gluten.

    Itt is real wonderful in this NO parish where you cannot even pray through all the loud talk about football scores that you get to also learn about everyone's petty eating habits.

    If there are taht many people who have the gluten intolerance then maybe that is a good idea.


    Do your really think that tiny Host is going to kill someone / are people going insane ?

    Offline Mama ChaCha

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    Novus Order Bedtime story
    « Reply #6 on: December 31, 2013, 12:27:17 AM »
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  • Makes perfect sense to me. It's a great analogy!!
    I've been babysitting a kid who has subsisted on microwave meals and McDonald's since he was old enough to chew his own food. This poor kid can put away a mountain of processed, homogenized foodstuffs and sure enough, twenty minutes later, he's famished.
    But when I make a nice lasagna or comida from scratch, a regular child's serving is quite enough to keep him satiated for several hours.

    It's the same with the newchurch. A whole lot of homogenized, indecipherable junk with no nutritional value whatsoever. You could consume it all day, every day and you're never full.
    And just like a constant supply of junk food makes you fat but never nourishes your body, so a constant supply of newchurch makes you fat with pride but never filled with the holy spirit +. But now, go to a proper mass and you leave the sanctuary filled to overflowing with a profound humility and gratitude, your soul truly nourished...




    Sorry to wax philosophic, the comparison just seemed too relevant not to reply.
    Matthew 6:34
    " Be not therefore solicitous for to morrow; for the morrow will be solicitous for itself. Sufficient for the day is the evil thereof."

    Offline poche

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    Novus Order Bedtime story
    « Reply #7 on: December 31, 2013, 12:27:50 AM »
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  • Quote from: crossbro
    Quote from: poche
    Quote from: crossbro

    What does any of this have to do with gluten free chicken ?

    At one parish, just before every mass an announcement is made asking people to raise their hands and let the ems know if they want gluten free Host- it is the politically correct thing to do you know, don't want anyone dying from all that gluten.

    Itt is real wonderful in this NO parish where you cannot even pray through all the loud talk about football scores that you get to also learn about everyone's petty eating habits.

    If there are taht many people who have the gluten intolerance then maybe that is a good idea.


    Do your really think that tiny Host is going to kill someone / are people going insane ?

    I do not know about gluten. but I do know some one who had to go to the hospital from ingesting less than one peanut. I have heard of other people who have died from bee stings.


    Offline Frances

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    Novus Order Bedtime story
    « Reply #8 on: December 31, 2013, 12:33:26 AM »
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  •  :sleep:
    My chicken dream was much better!  Fr. Pfeiffer secretely saying Mass in a chicken coop and escaping the Feds by hitchhiking a ride with a trucker.
     St. Francis Xavier threw a Crucifix into the sea, at once calming the waves.  Upon reaching the shore, the Crucifix was returned to him by a crab with a curious cross pattern on its shell.  

    Offline poche

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    Novus Order Bedtime story
    « Reply #9 on: December 31, 2013, 12:55:26 AM »
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  • Quote from: Frances
    :sleep:
    My chicken dream was much better!  Fr. Pfeiffer secretely saying Mass in a chicken coop and escaping the Feds by hitchhiking a ride with a trucker.

    My chicken dream is a bucket of KFC's original recipe.
     :ready-to-eat: :ready-to-eat: :ready-to-eat:

    Online 1st Mansion Tenant

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    « Reply #10 on: December 31, 2013, 01:18:19 AM »
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  • Quote from: Frances
    :sleep:
    My chicken dream was much better!  Fr. Pfeiffer secretely saying Mass in a chicken coop and escaping the Feds by hitchhiking a ride with a trucker.


    My dream with Fr Pfieffer had him wrestling alligators in some kind of alligator sanctuary/ Mass center.  Maybe we are spending too much time on forums. Weird. :sleep:



    Offline copticruiser

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    Novus Order Bedtime story
    « Reply #11 on: January 02, 2014, 01:33:39 PM »
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  • I hope y all know this story is a comparison of the New Mass to the Old Mass????

    Since common talk don't work with these Deceived catholics or closed minded ones anyway this form of a parable seemed to hit the spot.

    Everytime we read it though it just sounded funnier and funnier but really quite ridiculous to think we have to go to this extreme.

    Hope everyone had a great Christmas and happy new year. We have been so warm for so long its really strange. Finally getting some snow around here. Only had 1 week of cold weather the rest of the time its be around 0 celcius its been great doing chores with no gloves or bulky snowsuits.

    Gotta fly enjoy the time off its great to recoup.

    your friendly canadian :farmer:

     

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