Author Topic: Novelist Needing Assistance (Read 6286 times)

Alyssa · « **on:** August 15, 2010, 02:14:40 PM »

Hello,

My name is Alyssa, and I am currently writing a novel in which a sixteen year old girl comes out as a lesbian and her parents (who are devoted Catholics) find out.

I would like some honest opinions on how you would react to this as either a friend or parent of the sixteen year old girl and what you would say to her.

I promise that I am not trying to make anyone angry with this post. I would just like some honest opinions.

Thank you for your help,

Alyssa

Clovis · « **Reply #1 on:** August 15, 2010, 02:21:51 PM »

Well there are always either psychological, emotional or spiritual problemns behind ɧoɱosɛҳųαƖ behaviour that if dealt with the ɧoɱosɛҳųαƖ behaviour or inclinations whither away. I would hope that someone would try to identify and deal with those as a friend or parent. I reject the term ɧoɱosɛҳųαƖ...People carry out ɧoɱosɛҳųαƖ actions or have ɧoɱosɛҳųαƖ feelings but defining them by that is not something I would be happy doing as it that perversion defined their essence.

Alyssa · « **Reply #2 on:** August 15, 2010, 02:26:30 PM »

Thank you for your response!

So, in your opinion, you would advise that the sixteen year old focus on her psychological, emotional or spiritual problems so that her "ɧoɱosɛҳųαƖ" feelings can whither away? Do you feel that if someone works on those things enough they will realize that their ɧoɱosɛҳųαƖ thoughts were wrong?

Once again, I'm not trying to make anyone angry with this post. I really just want your honest opinions on the topic.

CM · « **Reply #3 on:** August 15, 2010, 02:27:41 PM »

ALWAYS spiritual problems. ɧoɱosɛҳųαƖity is a deliverance over to blindness on account of sin.

Alyssa · « **Reply #4 on:** August 15, 2010, 02:30:54 PM »

You say it's ALWAYS spiritual problems.

Could you elaborate on that? Do you think the 16 year old girl may not be connected enough with her faith?

How do you think a parent would feel finding out that their daughter believes she has feelings for women instead of men?

Elizabeth · « **Reply #5 on:** August 15, 2010, 02:42:23 PM »

Bug off, Alyssa.

Clovis · « **Reply #6 on:** August 15, 2010, 02:43:22 PM »

Quote from: Alyssa

So, in your opinion, you would advise that the sixteen year old focus on her psychological, emotional or spiritual problems so that her "ɧoɱosɛҳųαƖ" feelings can whither away? Do you feel that if someone works on those things enough they will realize that their ɧoɱosɛҳųαƖ thoughts were wrong?

Once again, I'm not trying to make anyone angry with this post. I really just want your honest opinions on the topic.

I try though I often fail to stay in touch with reality.

Though I never suffered from the said sɛҳuąƖ perversion when I was a niave teenager I believed all the propaganda about ɧoɱosɛҳųαƖity, but it was when I got to college and actually met people who identified as ɧoɱosɛҳųαƖ that I began to question it...Without going into sɛҳuąƖ behaviour (lets remember that people of an older generation and young kids read this site probably) there are personality dysfunctions that go along with it such as narcissism, hedonism, an obessesiveness about aesthetic appearances and a reduction of life to aesthetics and so on. You are however talking about a teenager...Teens often feel the need by define themselves through some sort of label and also to seperate themselves from their parents. I would wonder in the case of a 16 year old whether this is going on as opposed to an actual sɛҳuąƖ perversion. Also in those years we tend to form strong bonds with people of the same gender and I would wonder whether they are confusing that strong emotional attachment with something sɛҳuąƖ.

Alyssa · « **Reply #7 on:** August 15, 2010, 02:46:18 PM »

Thank you, Clovis. You have been very helpful. I really appreciate your comments.

MyrnaM · « **Reply #8 on:** August 15, 2010, 03:06:01 PM »

All I can say is, as a parent it hurts me to see my children participate with any sin at all.

Some time I think when Our Lord carried His Cross it would have been so much lighter if I had never been born because my sins, and the sins of my children and so on, would not have been on His Cross.

As a parent these days, it is important to teach your children the horror of sin period, even telling a lie is hurtful to God.

As far a ɧoɱosɛҳųαƖ behavior goes, I would probably faint with fear for my child, and start to cry, feeling I have failed in some way to do the Will of God. My first reaction would be to start preaching but that would only be my emotion, then my inteligence would kick in, and I would try talking to the young daughter about behavior being a choice, we are not animals, and even some animals I am afraid to say have better morals than these young people. There I go preaching again . . . but not yelling anymore.

Clovis · « **Reply #9 on:** August 15, 2010, 03:11:49 PM »

Quote from: MyrnaM

As far a ɧoɱosɛҳųαƖ behavior goes, I would probably faint with fear for my child, and start to cry, feeling I have failed in some way to do the Will of God. My first reaction would be to start preaching but that would only be my emotion, then my inteligence would kick in, and I would try talking to the young daughter about behavior being a choice, we are not animals, and even some animals I am afraid to say have better morals than these young people. There I go preaching again . . . but not yelling anymore.

Myrna I can understand that as a reaction in finding out that a 20 year was engaged in regular ɧoɱosɛҳųαƖ activity....But the OP said this was about a 16 year old and those four years make all the difference...My first reaction would be to believe they were attention seeking and to say simply "yes dear, thats interesting, have you finished your maths homework?"...If the worst came to worst I would at all times at least try to remain calm infront of them and move them from their current envoirment which had obviously damaged them. In my experiance there are very few things more purifying than hard manual work out in the countryside.

Clovis · « **Reply #10 on:** August 15, 2010, 03:13:42 PM »

Alyssa I would advise you to hunt down old psychological and psychiatric manuals from the time that ɧoɱosɛҳųαƖity was considered a mental illness...They are very illuminating on this tragic subject.

MyrnaM · « **Reply #11 on:** August 15, 2010, 03:17:52 PM »

Quote from: Clovis

Quote from: MyrnaM

As far a ɧoɱosɛҳųαƖ behavior goes, I would probably faint with fear for my child, and start to cry, feeling I have failed in some way to do the Will of God. My first reaction would be to start preaching but that would only be my emotion, then my inteligence would kick in, and I would try talking to the young daughter about behavior being a choice, we are not animals, and even some animals I am afraid to say have better morals than these young people. There I go preaching again . . . but not yelling anymore.

Myrna I can understand that as a reaction in finding out that a 20 year was engaged in regular ɧoɱosɛҳųαƖ activity....But the OP said this was about a 16 year old and those four years make all the difference...My first reaction would be to believe they were attention seeking and to say simply "yes dear, thats interesting, have you finished your maths homework?"...If the worst came to worst I would at all times at least try to remain calm infront of them and move them from their current envoirment which had obviously damaged them. In my experiance there are very few things more purifying than hard manual work out in the countryside.

Clovis, I am sure you are right and I am wrong, but I was telling her what I would do, and apparently I am not as calm as you are.

Although I am a rather calm, lay back person, yet. . . . .just trying to imagine what she wrote and I imagined myself acting like a fool, as described above.

MyrnaM · « **Reply #12 on:** August 15, 2010, 03:19:41 PM »

Alyssa, if you are writting a noval, I guess you will have to pick the kind of parent you want for this dear daughter you described. Then go from there.

Alyssa · « **Reply #13 on:** August 15, 2010, 03:21:41 PM »

MyrnaM: I think many parents (especially those that are devoted Catholics) would react in a similiar way to the way that you described. It's understandable that something like this would be very shocking to you.

I appreciate both of your views on this topic.

Would either of you advise the 16 year old to speak with a counselor about her feelings? Or would you try and speak to her yourself?

If you would speak to her yourself, are there any verses from the Bible that you would direct her to?

Clovis · « **Reply #14 on:** August 15, 2010, 03:31:31 PM »

Quote from: MyrnaM

Clovis, I am sure you are right and I am wrong, but I was telling her what I would do, and apparently I am not as calm as you are.

Although I am a rather calm, lay back person, yet. . . . .just trying to imagine what she wrote and I imagined myself acting like a fool, as described above.

It could also be a case of me being younger and therefore less sensitive to evil as opposed to me being right and you being wrong.