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Author Topic: Non-Catholic Wedding on Holy Saturday  (Read 2705 times)

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Offline Dolores

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Re: Non-Catholic Wedding on Holy Saturday
« Reply #15 on: March 25, 2018, 08:11:27 PM »
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  • How is it ok to go to a non catholic wedding. Where did the church teach this.
    Canon 1258 of the 1917 Code of Canon Law:

    "It is unlawful for the faithful to assist in any active manner, or to take part, in the sacred services of non-Catholics.  Merely passive or material presence may be tolerated on account of a civil office, or for the purpose of showing respect to persons, to be approved in doubtful cases by the bishop for grave reasons, at funerals of non-Catholics, at their marriages, and similar solemnities, provided there is danger of neither perversion nor scandal."

    As long as you are passively attending a non-Catholic wedding, and not actively participating, it was permitted under the traditional law.


    Offline Neil Obstat

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    Re: Non-Catholic Wedding on Holy Saturday
    « Reply #16 on: March 25, 2018, 10:13:14 PM »
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  • .
    Holy Saturday is a pretty big deal in the Catholic Church.
    I have to wonder: Would a "practicing Jєω" accept a wedding invitation when the wedding day falls on Rosh Hashana?
    .
    In situations like this, I like to think about what the Apostles would have done.
    .
    For example, can you think of any one of the holy Apostles who would have attended a wedding the day after Good Friday?
    .
    Furthermore, if one of them had been invited to such a wedding, perhaps his absence would speak louder than anything he could have said.
    .
    St. Francis of Assisi believed that wearing the habit of his Order was a silent sermon.
    He said in regards to Franciscans wearing their cassock, "Preach always, and if necessary, use words."
    .
    If I were to go to a wedding on Holy Saturday, I would sit in the back, and not stand up or clap or anything like that, and I would respectfully give my "regrets" in advance to not attend the reception. A Catholic "celebrating" or making merry on that day would be scandalous. And if you can't make merry on a particular day, it's not right to attend a wedding party.
    .
    If they really wanted YOUR attendance they would have avoided putting you in the position of having to make this choice, by choosing a different day, such as one during the Church's wedding ceremony times. There are certain times of the year when Catholics are forbidden from having weddings and this is one of them.
    .
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    Offline Maria Regina

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    Re: Non-Catholic Wedding on Holy Saturday
    « Reply #17 on: March 25, 2018, 10:15:32 PM »
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  • .
    Holy Saturday is a pretty big deal in the Catholic Church.
    I have to wonder: Would a "practicing Jєω" accept a wedding invitation when the wedding day falls on Rosh Hashana?
    .
    In situations like this, I like to think about what the Apostles would have done.
    .
    For example, can you think of any one of the holy Apostles who would have attended a wedding the day after Good Friday?
    .
    Furthermore, if one of them had been invited to such a wedding, perhaps his absence would speak louder than anything he could have said.
    .
    St. Francis of Assisi believed that wearing the habit of his Order was a silent sermon.
    He said in regards to Franciscans wearing their cassock, "Preach always, and if necessary, use words."
    .
    If I were to go to a wedding on Holy Saturday, I would sit in the back, and not stand up or clap or anything like that, and I would respectfully give my "regrets" in advance to attend the reception. A Catholic "celebrating" or making merry on that day would be scandalous. And if you can't make merry on a particular day, it's not right to attend a wedding party.
    .
    If they really wanted YOUR attendance they would have avoided putting you in the position of having to make this choice, by choosing a different day, such as one during the Church's wedding ceremony times. There are certain times of the year when Catholics are forbidden from having weddings and this is one of them.
    .
    Very well stated, Neil.
    Lord have mercy.

    Offline MaterDominici

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    Re: Non-Catholic Wedding on Holy Saturday
    « Reply #18 on: March 26, 2018, 12:12:48 AM »
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  • Dolores already posted this, but here is a longer excerpt on the topic of attendance at non-Catholic weddings and funerals from Fr. Jone's Moral Theology book.
    "I think that Catholicism, that's as sane as people can get."  - Jordan Peterson

    Offline sedevacantist3

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    Re: Non-Catholic Wedding on Holy Saturday
    « Reply #19 on: March 26, 2018, 09:29:20 PM »
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  • Canon 1258 of the 1917 Code of Canon Law:

    "It is unlawful for the faithful to assist in any active manner, or to take part, in the sacred services of non-Catholics.  Merely passive or material presence may be tolerated on account of a civil office, or for the purpose of showing respect to persons, to be approved in doubtful cases by the bishop for grave reasons, at funerals of non-Catholics, at their marriages, and similar solemnities, provided there is danger of neither perversion nor scandal."

    As long as you are passively attending a non-Catholic wedding, and not actively participating, it was permitted under the traditional law.
    Thanks for this, although I'm not sure you can freely attend any non catholic wedding by merely not participating actively during the ceremony, I think the part "showing respect to persons" is ambiguous..will do some study wth the other docuмents provided and comment later


    Offline sedevacantist3

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    Re: Non-Catholic Wedding on Holy Saturday
    « Reply #20 on: March 27, 2018, 08:22:23 PM »
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  • This is the part of the code which is unclear to me as it doesn't speak to the after party, would attending the party be a mortal sin?
    1917 code 126 b
    A Catholic may not assist at the attempted marriage of a Catholic before a non Catholic clergyman since this would imply a contempt for the Church's regulations and be a source of scandal. One doing so however,would not be co-operating in a manner by which he would incur the excommunication mentioned in C 2231.
    I am asking my priest as well

    Offline mcollier

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    Re: Non-Catholic Wedding on Holy Saturday
    « Reply #21 on: March 28, 2018, 03:29:57 AM »
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  • .
    Holy Saturday is a pretty big deal in the Catholic Church.
    I have to wonder: Would a "practicing Jєω" accept a wedding invitation when the wedding day falls on Rosh Hashana?
    .
    In situations like this, I like to think about what the Apostles would have done.
    .
    For example, can you think of any one of the holy Apostles who would have attended a wedding the day after Good Friday?
    .
    Furthermore, if one of them had been invited to such a wedding, perhaps his absence would speak louder than anything he could have said.
    .
    St. Francis of Assisi believed that wearing the habit of his Order was a silent sermon.
    He said in regards to Franciscans wearing their cassock, "Preach always, and if necessary, use words."
    .
    If I were to go to a wedding on Holy Saturday, I would sit in the back, and not stand up or clap or anything like that, and I would respectfully give my "regrets" in advance to not attend the reception. A Catholic "celebrating" or making merry on that day would be scandalous. And if you can't make merry on a particular day, it's not right to attend a wedding party.
    .
    If they really wanted YOUR attendance they would have avoided putting you in the position of having to make this choice, by choosing a different day, such as one during the Church's wedding ceremony times. There are certain times of the year when Catholics are forbidden from having weddings and this is one of them.
    .
    Agree 100%. 

    Offline Dolores

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    Re: Non-Catholic Wedding on Holy Saturday
    « Reply #22 on: March 28, 2018, 08:12:06 AM »
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  • This is the part of the code which is unclear to me as it doesn't speak to the after party, would attending the party be a mortal sin?
    1917 code 126 b
    A Catholic may not assist at the attempted marriage of a Catholic before a non Catholic clergyman since this would imply a contempt for the Church's regulations and be a source of scandal. One doing so however,would not be co-operating in a manner by which he would incur the excommunication mentioned in C 2231.
    I am asking my priest as well
    That canon and the one I cited deal with two entirely different situations.

    The canon I cited deals with attending weddings and funerals of non-Catholics, and it is at least permitted in theory to attend such events as long as you don't actively participate (although exact circuмstances may vary, as you pointed out in your other post).

    The canon you cited, however, deals with attending the wedding of a Catholic who is getting married outside of the Church.  That is a very different situation, and it would be forbidden to attend.


    Offline sedevacantist3

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    Re: Non-Catholic Wedding on Holy Saturday
    « Reply #23 on: March 28, 2018, 04:29:50 PM »
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  • That canon and the one I cited deal with two entirely different situations.

    The canon I cited deals with attending weddings and funerals of non-Catholics, and it is at least permitted in theory to attend such events as long as you don't actively participate (although exact circuмstances may vary, as you pointed out in your other post).

    The canon you cited, however, deals with attending the wedding of a Catholic who is getting married outside of the Church.  That is a very different situation, and it would be forbidden to attend.
    Here is what my priest replied, my wife says she will take the kids to the dinner without me

    “The party is definitely less critical than attending the ceremony. 

    Regarding the ceremony, the Code is clear : we should not attend the marriage ceremony of a Catholic before a non-Catholic minister. Thanks for sending me back this canon of the code, I did not remember. So with regard to the ceremony, the laws of the Church are clear. No excommunication, but definitely a serious sin to disobey the Church’s law by doing it. I was not severe enough. For the ceremony, the Code is clear and I cannot advice against the Code.

    So what I was saying about passive attendance should apply to the party after : it is a limit situation, but can probably be done for civil reasons.

    So, you do what you want, but my final advice (now that you remembered me the Canon 126) :
    - no one should attend the ceremony. It is not so difficult after all to excuse oneself by saying : I will be at the reception, but cannot for religious reasons attend the service.
    - your wife should go alone to the party.

    The rest is yours. This is what I can advice.”

    Offline sedevacantist3

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    Re: Non-Catholic Wedding on Holy Saturday
    « Reply #24 on: March 29, 2018, 05:32:02 PM »
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  • My options are 
    1 my wife goes alone to ceremony and brings the kids to the supper without me

    2. I can convince her not to go at all to ceremony if i tag along to supper
    3. Wife goes to ceremony alone.  At time of supper i take kids for a ride somewhere and leave her go to supper alone.  Probably divorce

    Offline MaterDominici

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    Re: Non-Catholic Wedding on Holy Saturday
    « Reply #25 on: March 29, 2018, 06:11:40 PM »
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  • IMO --
    One and two are both reasonable. Three is fine too, but it sounds like your wife isn't as open to that idea. If your children are older, you can explain to them why you're choosing to limit your participation as well as why you're not skipping out entirely. Unless they're very mature, you shouldn't say anything negative about your wife's decisions regarding attendance. This is a one-time event, your family is forever.
    "I think that Catholicism, that's as sane as people can get."  - Jordan Peterson


    Offline sedevacantist3

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    Re: Non-Catholic Wedding on Holy Saturday
    « Reply #26 on: March 30, 2018, 12:15:18 PM »
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  • Thanks Mater. If i do go I will have to give my 2 cents to the people i know there, just worried about a chance of giving scandal by my appearance at the reception 

    Offline Seraphina

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    Re: Non-Catholic Wedding on Holy Saturday
    « Reply #27 on: March 30, 2018, 11:14:07 PM »
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  • What is the likelihood of this marriage lasting?  Speaking only for mysrlf, I solve the problem by not attending weddings at all.  If it's for sure a valid, licit Catholic wedding, I send a card and a small gift.  If not, I politely decline.  

    Offline Maria Regina

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    Re: Non-Catholic Wedding on Holy Saturday
    « Reply #28 on: March 31, 2018, 02:25:33 AM »
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  • My options are
    1 my wife goes alone to ceremony and brings the kids to the supper without me

    2. I can convince her not to go at all to ceremony if i tag along to supper
    3. Wife goes to ceremony alone.  At time of supper i take kids for a ride somewhere and leave her go to supper alone.  Probably divorce
    Lord have mercy.

    I will pray for you. Divorce is not a good option at all.

    The spouses are to help each other attain salvation by praying together.
    Lord have mercy.