So a couple years ago a Protestant friend of mine, whose marriage was on the rocks, asked me whether I thought that Jesus allowed for remarriage. Considering myself a Protestant at the time and ashamedly one of those who was not so educated about my faith, I assumed of course she could because everyone around here does it. I mean we live in the “Bible Belt,” in fact there is a billboard in a neighboring town offering civil divorces for as low as $300. Looking back I now think the reason she even asked was because she had some suspicions that Jesus did not allow for remarriage and just hoped I would say of course, but for some reason I didn’t say what I thought and decided to research the issue more closely. I quickly discovered, as I’m sure most of you believe that he did not and that it is an ongoing mortal sin. Although it was very hard for me to bring myself to believe that all these people I knew, who seemed like god-fearing people, were going to hell because they had made a mistake and married the wrong person earlier in life, but eventually I had to surrender to the evidence that this is in fact what Jesus taught.
It was during these months, while studying the issue of marriage, which I discovered that the Catholic Church held that marriage was permanent. Although the thought of becoming Catholic never crossed my mind, because my opinion at the time was that the Catholic Church is where all those people go who worship Mary and not very serious about their faith. Anyhow I decided that I would find a local Protestant church that taught this because I wanted to worship at a place that taught the truth and not the prosperity gospel that you get from so many Protestant churches today. Eventually and to my astonishment I discovered that I could not find a Protestant church that taught this doctrine, except for the Mennonites, in fact the closest I came to finding a preacher who held this belief was one that preached that if you are divorced and remarried then that is fine and good but if you are divorced then do not remarry. Well how confusing is that? So if I have a friend who is going to remarry or marry someone who is divorced then I should not let them hear his sermon because then they will know the truth and their marriage will be a sin but if I don’t tell them and they get married, well then they did not know, thus not a sin, and should stay married. This preacher is a mainstream preacher with a huge following online by the way. Furthermore most of them teach the doctrine of “Once Saved Always Saved,” so if you are a believer then there is nothing you can do to lose your salvation. I’ve tried to point out the fallacy of this doctrine to some of them by telling them that they should stop protesting the legalization of gαy marriages and rather try and convert them then recognize their civil marriage, like they do everyone else's despite how many spouses they have had, then they could join the church and contribute to the building fund that never seems to end. I’m being sarcastic of course but their heads nearly explode when I say that and follow up by telling them that Jesus never said anything about ɧoɱosɛҳųαƖs but his teaching on the mortal sin of remarriage is mentioned at least five times in the gospels.
Anyhow so one day after about four hours of browsing through church websites trying to determine what each taught in regards to marriage I decided to stop for the night and go to sleep and then one of the scariest thoughts that a “Bible Belt Protestant” could ever have came into my mind, “You know you could quit looking if you would just become a Catholic.” A literal chill came over me and the hairs on my arms stood up. I decided to have an open mind and began to research what Catholic Church taught in regards to other issues and to my amazement I slowly began to agree with all of them. So after studying Catholicism for nearly two hours a day for six+ months I am excited to say that I am planning on signing up for RCIA classes sometime soon and joining the One True Church.
So why am I here? Through my research and study I quickly discerned that I was definitely more in line with the Traditionalists rather than the Modernists and thus I have some questions about the issue that helped me find my way to the Catholic Church, divorce and remarriage. Thus I was hoping that some of you could help clear some things up for me. For the record I am a single never married male in my early 30’s and fortunate to have parents who have been married for 40+ years so this is not a personal issue for me but the following examples are real life issues that people, whom I care about, have asked me about and I want to give them the most accurate advice that I can so your feedback will be greatly appreciated.
1) What advice would you give to a Protestant friend, who was in a marriage where it was both parties first marriage, but is now divorced and out searching for a new spouse? If she knows anything about the Catholic Church she will just say that her marriage was not sacramental and it would be annulled if she were Catholic, thus she is free to seek out another husband without fear of sin.
2) What advice would you give in regards to Protestants who have never been married, but have married someone was previously divorced? Should they leave their current spouse and thus should they feel free to go on and marry someone who has never been married before?
3) Assuming said person had a religious conversion and joined the Catholic Church, would any of you consider marrying someone who was divorced from a spouse, that they knew had been married before, but that spouse had continued to intimately see their former spouse from time to time while in the second marriage?