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Offline PenitentWoman

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Needing a break from maternity leave?!
« on: July 19, 2012, 06:23:52 PM »
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  • My co-worker stopped in today with her less than 2 week old baby. She asked if I could babysit for a few hours this weekend so she can go grab a few drinks with some friends.  

    Not to be judgmental, but I think that is a little ridiculous.

    I said yes because he is so adorable, but I fully intend to kidnap him.   :wink:
    ~For we are saved by hope. But hope that is seen, is not hope. For what a man seeth, why doth he hope for? But if we hope for that which we see not, we wait for it with patience. ~ Romans 8:24-25

    Offline s2srea

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    Needing a break from maternity leave?!
    « Reply #1 on: July 19, 2012, 06:28:05 PM »
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  • It was kind of you to offer to help out your friend. You're right, it is ridiculous that she thought it somehow important to 'get out'. But this is the nature of the people in our society; nothing new, sadly.  


    Offline PenitentWoman

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    Needing a break from maternity leave?!
    « Reply #2 on: July 19, 2012, 06:33:44 PM »
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  • Do you think it is morally wrong that I said yes?  I was holding him when she asked. That's a cruel tactic..
    ~For we are saved by hope. But hope that is seen, is not hope. For what a man seeth, why doth he hope for? But if we hope for that which we see not, we wait for it with patience. ~ Romans 8:24-25

    Offline songbird

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    Needing a break from maternity leave?!
    « Reply #3 on: July 19, 2012, 06:58:27 PM »
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  • Is she married?

    Offline de Montfort

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    Needing a break from maternity leave?!
    « Reply #4 on: July 19, 2012, 06:59:59 PM »
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  • Quote from: PenitentWoman
    Do you think it is morally wrong that I said yes?  I was holding him when she asked. That's a cruel tactic..


    This is what I am wondering.  One of the ways we can sin, is in the cooperation of another person's sin.  Yes, you're doing a good deed, but are we supposed to do a good deed if it's at the expense of something wrong or bad?  Was your saying yes enabling her in her sin...assuming it is a sin for her to be out drinking?  I'm just asking these questions in sincerity.

    s2srea, or anyone, would you please weigh in with your thoughts?  Thank you!


    Offline s2srea

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    Needing a break from maternity leave?!
    « Reply #5 on: July 19, 2012, 07:33:42 PM »
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  • Having 'drinks with friends' is not morally wrong, in and of itself; it often is, in today's day and age, but we don't know the full circumstances. I've gone out to 'have a drink' with friends from Church more than a few times. I don't know that I would approve of my wife or sister doing so. Having drinks when you have a 2 week old baby may be morally wrong, and is, at a minimum, bad parenting from a Traditional Catholic perspective; but it not unheard of in our society. There's the idea that having a baby is somehow so taxing on new mothers, that they now need before and after pregnancy massages and getaways; its so unnatural for modern man and woman to go through having children.

    Its an extraordinary event- to have a child- to those who live and die by our world. Of course the banksters have been successful at convincing by marketing that there are new 'minimums' that we need to have babies; not only in the way of material things, but those things like I'd mentioned above that are somehow supposed to 'recharge' you after having a child. The, "I'm focusing on me now" is nothing new or surprising to us.  

    At the end of the day, PW said yes. If her conscience has her questioning her decision, she should go to her father confessor for advice. I see nothing wrong with her decision given the circumstances; would I advise her to do it in the future? No. But she should be proud that she is realizing these things and questioning them. This is part of spiritual development. Things she's done before, she will not do anymore. She will make mistakes, and this is why her father confessor should be the one she confides all to in the confessional.

    One can not negate the fact that there is a transition we all go through in our lives- whether we're born into Tradition, or find it later in life- its called conversion. Its a process that never ends. As long as we strive to reach our Blessed Lord with humility, and practice the virtues of Faith, Hope and Charity, his promise will reign true for us individually: "behold I am with you all days." Of course the best way to Him, as he wants it, is through his Blessed Mother, the Mediatrix of all Graces. Turning to her to reach her son is what he wishes.

    We can remember the words of St. Louis De Montfort, especially since there is someone who has taken his namesake here, to help us understand this:

    "It was through the Blessed Virgin Mary that Jesus came into the world, and it is also through her that he must reign in the world." "God has decided to begin and accomplish his greatest works through the Blessed Virgin ever since he created her, we can safely believe that he will not change his plan in the time to come, for he is God and therefore does not change in his thoughts or his way of acting." ". If devotion to the Blessed Virgin is necessary for all men simply to work out their salvation, it is even more necessary for those who are called to a special perfection. I do not believe that anyone can acquire intimate union with our Lord and perfect fidelity to the Holy Spirit without a very close union with the most Blessed Virgin and an absolute dependence on her support."

    Offline PenitentWoman

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    Needing a break from maternity leave?!
    « Reply #6 on: July 19, 2012, 07:58:25 PM »
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  • I think it would probably be enabling.  ;-(

    I hate being put on the spot especially when it involves sweet little babies. Her husband is picking the baby up after his shift (police officer) so he will be returned to a sober person.  

    She will pay me well because she knows I'm broke. Awhile  back she helped me pay to get my phone turned back on. :-(

    I wonder if it is any different then getting paid to actually serve the drinks when I'm working.
    Maybe that's enabling too...
    ~For we are saved by hope. But hope that is seen, is not hope. For what a man seeth, why doth he hope for? But if we hope for that which we see not, we wait for it with patience. ~ Romans 8:24-25

    Offline PenitentWoman

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    Needing a break from maternity leave?!
    « Reply #7 on: July 19, 2012, 08:02:26 PM »
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  • You forgot that new mothers now expect "push presents" -- jewelry for giving birth! As if your baby isn't gift enough!  Very, very sad.
    ~For we are saved by hope. But hope that is seen, is not hope. For what a man seeth, why doth he hope for? But if we hope for that which we see not, we wait for it with patience. ~ Romans 8:24-25


    Offline Thorn

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    Needing a break from maternity leave?!
    « Reply #8 on: July 19, 2012, 08:05:14 PM »
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  • Women, & I guess people in general, are a different breed nowadays.  I loved being with my kids & would never even think of leaving a 2 week old with someone for the evening.

    It used to be that children started school at 6 in 1st grade.  Years later they started at 5 in kindergarten.  Then 'they' added pre-kinder, then preschool, and now there's nursery school for 3 years & under.  The poor things can't spell or put a coherent sentence together for all that 'schooling'.  Actually tho, it's really to free mommy to go out to play so she doesn't have to put up with her own undisciplined kids.  I've noticed that women can't wait to get rid of their kids now - & the sooner the better.   It's beyond sad.
    "I will lead her into solitude and there I will speak to her heart.  Osee 2:14

    Offline Thorn

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    Needing a break from maternity leave?!
    « Reply #9 on: July 19, 2012, 08:13:13 PM »
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  • That 2 week old baby is going to be turned over to his father, a policeman, who's just done a grueling shift??!!!  He'll probably fall asleep!  What are those people thinking of?!!!  Better that the baby stay with you until the mom picks it up.  But then she'll probably fall asleep too after a nite of drinking.  Poor, poor child.  I don't care how good a man he is, men just don't have what it takes to care for a newborn.  Call me sexist, but that's the truth.  
    "I will lead her into solitude and there I will speak to her heart.  Osee 2:14

    Offline PenitentWoman

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    Needing a break from maternity leave?!
    « Reply #10 on: July 19, 2012, 08:22:15 PM »
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  • Do people not understand the thumbs down or do they disagree with me that push presents are sad?? Yeesh, I can't say anything right.

    Thorn, I thought the same about the poor Dad. I should offer to keep the baby overnight  so he can get some sleep.
    ~For we are saved by hope. But hope that is seen, is not hope. For what a man seeth, why doth he hope for? But if we hope for that which we see not, we wait for it with patience. ~ Romans 8:24-25


    Offline PenitentWoman

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    Needing a break from maternity leave?!
    « Reply #11 on: July 19, 2012, 08:35:09 PM »
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  • So for the 5 people who gave me a thumbs down, I have an honest question. Is babysitting almost always immoral?


    The priest had suggested I look into more babysitting to replace waitress work. Most prospective clients would be looking for sitters to get away from the kids, drink etc. Or maybe they need one to work an unnecessary second job.  Am I always enabling?
    ~For we are saved by hope. But hope that is seen, is not hope. For what a man seeth, why doth he hope for? But if we hope for that which we see not, we wait for it with patience. ~ Romans 8:24-25

    Offline Thorn

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    Needing a break from maternity leave?!
    « Reply #12 on: July 19, 2012, 08:36:41 PM »
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  • Yes, please do - for the sake of that poor child.  He'd be in better hands with you I think, as women (if they fall asleep with a baby) are more attuned to hear a baby than a man.  Most men can sleep thro anything.
    "I will lead her into solitude and there I will speak to her heart.  Osee 2:14

    Offline Roman55

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    Needing a break from maternity leave?!
    « Reply #13 on: July 19, 2012, 08:37:23 PM »
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  • Quote from: PenitentWoman
    Do people not understand the thumbs down or do they disagree with me that push presents are sad?? Yeesh, I can't say anything right.

    Thorn, I thought the same about the poor Dad. I should offer to keep the baby overnight  so he can get some sleep.


    For what it is worth, and you may have seen it, but just in case; I'm taking the liberty of copy and pasting from a thread I started.  This perspective may have much merit, but I have some thoughts about it that are no doubt true, but won't make any change if I state them.  

    Roman, a lot of people get thumbs down. It could be for any number of reasons such as if they find one particular word in the post they disagree with or is not to their liking. Don't know if you know but a poster can only give one thumb down on a post, so if there is more than one thumb down you know it was more than one poster. My wife got one for posting a prayer...go figure. Just let it roll off your back, ask yourself how important is it to your salvation...
    keep it in perspective. :pray:

    Offline Thorn

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    Needing a break from maternity leave?!
    « Reply #14 on: July 19, 2012, 08:47:45 PM »
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  • PW, I didn't down thumb you & I probably shouldn't speak for others, but I think that people were disagreeing with push presents & not your post.  I've never heard of push presents & find it disgusting & I'm thinking a few others don't like the idea either.
    What they apparently don't understand is that the thumbs down counts against you.  If they don't like the idea of push presents, then they should say so.  But some people are weird or cowards or something.
    I thought that the thumbs up or down signified that you liked or didn't like the post & agreed or disagreed with your stand.  Who knows what it means to someone else?
    "I will lead her into solitude and there I will speak to her heart.  Osee 2:14

     

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