This is really sad, though not surprising.  It's not only the cultural message they're obediently responding to: serving others is a sucker's game...but the real truth of the matter is that if you stay home, you are effectively isolating yourself from a group of friends and social identity.  Or should I say, that's how it's been for me.  Being a housewife and homeschooling mother was the absolute end of a life apart from my family.  I don't regret it because I followed my conscience in this matter, and I don't mind being in my own company.  But it has come up time and time again that I am not one of "them" and there is no place for me to socialize with women of the world.


Most Women Would Rather Divorce Than Be a Housewife

by Lisa Wade, PhD, 1 day ago at 12:00 pm

The vast majority of young people – about 80% of women and 70% of men across all races, classes, and family backgrounds — desire an egalitarian marriage in which both partners share breadwinning, housekeeping, and child rearing.  The data come from Kathleen Gerson‘s fabulous 2010 book, The Unfinished Revolution.

In practice, however, egalitarian relationships are difficult to establish.  Both work and family are “greedy institutions,” ones that take up lots of time and energy.  Many couples find that, once children arrive, it’s impossible for both to do both with equal gusto.

With this in mind, Gerson asked her respondents what type of family they would like if, for whatever reason, they couldn’t sustain an equal partnership.  She discovered that, while men’s and women’s ideals are very similar, their fallback positions deviate dramatically.

Men’s most common fallback position is to establish a neotraditional division of labor: 70% hope to convince their wives to de-prioritize their careers and focus on homemaking and raising children.  Women?  Faced with a husband who wants them to be a housewife or work part-time, almost three-quarters of women say they would choose divorce and raise their kids alone.  In fact, despite men’s insistence on being breadwinners, women are more likely than men to say they value success in a high-paying career.

Look at this absolutely stunning data (matching ideals on the left; clashing fallback positions on the right):

One of Gerson’s interviewees, Matthew, exemplifies the egalitarian willing to fallback on a neotraditional family form:

If I could have the ideal world, I’d like to have a partner who’s making as much as I am—someone who’s ambitious and likes to achieve.  [But] if it can’t be equal, I would be the breadwinner and be there for helping with homework at night.

And this is what women think of that:

My mother’s such a leftover from the fifties and did everything for my father. I’m not planning to fall into that trap. I’m really not willing to take that from any guy at all.

Alas, what appears to be a happy convergence between men’s and women’s ideals — both are egalitarians — can turn into an intractable situation: a man who won’t give up his role as the breadwinner and a woman who would rather do anything than be a housewife.

Lisa Wade is a professor of sociology at Occidental College. You can follow her on Twitter and Facebook.

http://thesocietypages.org/socimages/2013/01/28/mens-and-womens-gender-ideologies-ideals-and-fallbacks/

Even if the source isn't the most reliable, I believe it. Very rarely will you find a woman nowadays who isn't determined to work outside the home. It is sad indeed.

The employed women I know  would rather be staying at home.

For some, maybe most,  women it is a conditioned response.  They go into the workforce because every other woman they know does it.  From the time they are in grade school they are asked "what do you want to do when you grow up?",  that implies a career of some sort.  They are trained to believe they have to work outside the home, just like their mom, their aunts, and maybe even their grandmothers!  I don't think it is a "natural" response.  They just don't see many happy homemakers for role models.  It is a sad commentary on modern life.

Marsha

The above quotes that stevus posted only show how strong feminism is in our society and what it has done to people's minds. It is sickening.

Feminism is a supporting branch of Marxism.

Hopefully more will families will choose the traditional route, leading to a community of traditional families. I know from experience that when you choose a traditional lifestyle, having lots of kids and working as much as you can, you're just not one of the boys anymore. The odd time I do get a chance to go out to the bar but I have nothing in common with my old friends, I usually come home thinking I should have just stayed home in the first place.

So yes, women who choose this will have to deal with the same sort of thing. If there are other women who homeschool etc that they can be friends with it will be much easier to let go of their former lives.

At the moment the traditional family just isn't where it's at.

I know many stay at home mothers, it's not just with religious families. I know many non religious people that have larger than the status quo  family size too. A woman who has been very kind including my son with things her teens attend, has 8 she is in her mid-30s so she could have many more. They are not religious at all.

With the SAHDad thing I see that more with professionals/some type of well paid skill dad. He is able to modify his hours or work some from home on days to get off earlier to chauffeur or run errands. It seems like it's with better off families where soccer mom'ing is more shared. I'm sure it happens but I've never seen one that stayed home with the baby while the wife went to work