Author Topic: Modesty around the home (Read 97304 times)

PenitentWoman · « **Reply #20 on:** August 22, 2012, 02:03:13 PM »

I guess maybe my love for beautiful clothing is vain in itself. I don't mean expensive clothing. I don't care about labels or the modern fashion industry--much of my wardrobe is secondhand. I just like pretty materials and patterns and colors. I have always loved couture in general.

When I think of Traditional Catholic Weddings and First Holy Communions, I think of very ornate dresses and veils. If plainness was more holy, why do Traditionalists dress so nice for these sacraments?

It seems I am thinking of vanity and modesty as two separate issues when others believe vain automatically equals immodest. The N.O. has a modesty problem during mass. It also has a problem of parshioners being too casual. Being too casual is not acceptable in the Traditional Church. We are to dress for the Lord. So do we dress in our most beautiful clothing to show reverence? Or do we dress "plain and ugly" to keep those around us for looking? What is the better option?

There is clothing out there that covers a woman, yet could still be considered fashionable in a particular culture. Isn't this a better way to go about selecting an outfit so your modesty still blends in? As opposed to dressing like you're from a different century and then end up getting looked at like it is Halloween?

I hope there is another way to make up for vanity, that doesn't involve trying to be frumpy. Frumpy makes me feel very unfeminine.

Telesphorus · « **Reply #21 on:** August 22, 2012, 02:13:33 PM »

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I hope there is another way to make up for vanity, that doesn't involve trying to be frumpy. Frumpy makes me feel very unfeminine.

You know, it's funny, even when trad women do not dress in rather eccentric ways, if one is familiar with the typical way they dress (that is - being just barely modest according to old standards) they are easily distinguished in a crowd. That and their hair gives them away.

PenitentWoman · « **Reply #22 on:** August 22, 2012, 02:15:01 PM »

Matthew, you have just expressed very well what I just can't seem to put to words.

Thank you.

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I've had to repeatedly ban one bozo that keeps saying that (in so many words) a 1 minute timer ought to be used, and that the lights should be completely out. Basically he is infected with the Puritan notion that sex is a necessary evil, and that carnal desire -- even within the bounds of Holy Matrimony -- must be fought as much as ever.

I've read those posts and unfortunately went to the website. As an unmarried woman I shouldn't be focusing on these things at all, but I really hope the traditional church offers some guidance in this area during marriage preparation, maybe?

So far I only have:

-My own short-lived, horrible, shameful, unpleasant experience

-Christopher West (as recommended by N.O. board mommies--despite the pornographic nature of his books)--thankfully an N.O. priest said in Catechism class that he would NEVER recommend those books, so I didn't read the whole thing.

-The puritanical stuff that was posted here.

PenitentWoman · « **Reply #23 on:** August 22, 2012, 02:41:39 PM »

Quote from: Telesphorus

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I hope there is another way to make up for vanity, that doesn't involve trying to be frumpy. Frumpy makes me feel very unfeminine.

You know, it's funny, even when trad women do not dress in rather eccentric ways, if one is familiar with the typical way they dress (that is - being just barely modest according to old standards) they are easily distinguished in a crowd. That and their hair gives it away.

Could you so kindly help me out and elaborate on what you mean by this?

I don't want to stand out.

I don't know how to describe my dilemma or what I am trying to go for. Once married I will gladly dress however my husband prefers (assuming he prefers something non-sinful) However in the meantime, I am on my own. My own FATHER recently made fun of me for not wearing a bathing suit. I have to figure out on my own what a good traditional man would find attractive enough to draw some (good) attention, so I can at least meet someone...but as I said in a different post...I don't want to be "trendy trad." I don't want to look fake or edgy.

I'm making all these changes in my life and moving to being a Traditional Catholic because I feel it is where God wants me, because I believe it to be the true faith, and I because I love the church teaching on marriage and family. I don't deserve an applause for dressing like a woman is SUPPOSED to dress, but I wouldn't be doing it (and dealing with comments and teasing from others) if I didn't feel genuinely called to do it. That is why I am so worried about getting it right.

Like I said before, I had started headcovering in the N.O. It certainly wasn't to be trendy. In the N.O. covering does stand out, so I tried to be discreet (wide headbands, or a scarf tied around my hair) but I felt the need to have something on my head. I did this because it says in the Bible that a woman MUST do this. It felt right to do it. For me, it isn't just some meaningless custom. It is symbolic of womanhood.

It was not for fashion. It was for humility. I wish I seemed more sincere.

Telesphorus · « **Reply #24 on:** August 22, 2012, 03:06:37 PM »

Quote from: PenitentWoman

Could you so kindly help me out and elaborate on what you mean by this?

I don't want to stand out.

I think it's pretty much impossible not to stand out - these girls were even wearing too much make-up - I wouldn't say they were dressed in a particularly distinct way - it's just if you recognize the look, it's unmistakable. (long hair with natural hair color is another give-away - I really don't know how to describe clothes - they're either familiar or unfamiliar - sorry I can't give you details)

You will stand out as a Catholic. Just use your own sense of taste, avoid too much eccentricity, and don't worry about it.