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Offline forlorn

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  • Just whatever funny little stories you have.

    For me, when I was about 4 or 5 first saying the Our Father, I thought it was "Our Father who AREN'T in Heaven" and taught we were talking about our dads or something

    Offline 1st Mansion Tenant

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    Re: Funny misunderstandings you had about the faith/prayers as a kid
    « Reply #1 on: January 03, 2019, 11:37:06 AM »
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  • For some unfathomable reason when I was small I would strain to make out the words the priest would say as he gave communion.  Through the Latin and his thick Irish brogue  I thought that I heard him repeat again and again "Take all y'all want". I thought whatever he was giving them must not be very good, because each person only took one. 


    Offline Nadir

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    Re: Funny misunderstandings you had about the faith/prayers as a kid
    « Reply #2 on: January 03, 2019, 02:59:13 PM »
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  • For some unfathomable reason when I was small I would strain to make out the words the priest would say as he gave communion.  Through the Latin and his thick Irish brogue  I thought that I heard him repeat again and again "Take all y'all want". I thought whatever he was giving them must not be very good, because each person only took one.
    Hilarious!
    A priest at my school catechism class explained that some children think: So did Joseph take Mary and the Child Jesus and flea into Egypt?

    Offline Jaynek

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    Re: Funny misunderstandings you had about the faith/prayers as a kid
    « Reply #3 on: January 03, 2019, 03:25:59 PM »
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  • When I was a child I knew almost nothing about Christianity, but we sang Christmas carols at school.  I had no idea what the line in Silent Night really meant where we sang: "round yon Virgin Mother and Child"

    Somehow in my mind, I connected it with the song "She'll be Coming Round the Mountain".  I figured that a "verge" was some sort of mountain and the "mother and child" were coming round it.

    Offline forlorn

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    Re: Funny misunderstandings you had about the faith/prayers as a kid
    « Reply #4 on: January 03, 2019, 04:11:36 PM »
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  • When I was a child I knew almost nothing about Christianity, but we sang Christmas carols at school.  I had no idea what the line in Silent Night really meant where we sang: "round yon Virgin Mother and Child"

    Somehow in my mind, I connected it with the song "She'll be Coming Round the Mountain".  I figured that a "verge" was some sort of mountain and the "mother and child" were coming round it.
    Crazy the amount of auto-correcting we can do when we don't recognise a word. My dad had a kid in his class who had to lead their prayers one day, and he said "Our Father who art in Heaven, Harold be Thy name". The monks were not best pleased. 


    Offline songbird

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    Re: Funny misunderstandings you had about the faith/prayers as a kid
    « Reply #5 on: January 03, 2019, 04:45:31 PM »
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  • The word tithing.

    My husband and I, in high school, sat across from each other.  It was religion class.  Priest, teacher.   He gives the class a surprise test, 10 questions.  Of all the questions, me, can not answer one, what is tithing?  I struggled with it and all that came to mind was "teething", coming from a family of 9 kids.  My husband, my boy friend, struggled with the same question.  He looked over at me and I looked back saying nothing.

    Teacher then says, exchange your papers with the one across from you.  I am saying, dear God, of all the questions, not this one asked of us.
    Teacher: Next, Jim, my husband.  Well, he mumbles, "What is-----and the teachers says, tithing.  Jim what do you have for the answer?  Jim looks at me and I look at him.
    Jim says, ?teething?

    The Priest laughs so hard, he went back against the blackboard with his chair.

    Online Maria Regina

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    Re: Funny misunderstandings you had about the faith/prayers as a kid
    « Reply #6 on: January 03, 2019, 09:13:21 PM »
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  • When I was in fourth grade, it was a very cold winter, known as a solar minimum, and it was the coldest in a decade, so the flu was very prevalent that winter and spring. Vehicles were trapped in the snow. Even police cars had to be towed from the icy roads. And we had extra snow days because the school buses could not operate in that weather. Then when the spring came, the Truckee River overflowed its banks. Virginia Street was sandbagged and most stores were flooded. It was amazing to look down Virginia Street and to see the tops of the meters standing out from the water, but the poles were totally submerged. The airport in Reno was eight feet underwater.

    Anyway, I had not been able to study our catechism because of the snow, floods, and illnesses. Our teacher decided to have a religion-bee, and divided up the class into two groups. Scared silly because I had not been able to study, I started to pray. Every time the nun asked me a question, a Hail Mary would roll off my tongue. My teammates gasped. I was causing them to lose points, but in my panic, all I could do was pray to our Lady.


    Lord have mercy.

    Offline poche

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    Re: Funny misunderstandings you had about the faith/prayers as a kid
    « Reply #7 on: January 04, 2019, 01:31:36 AM »
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  • Dad wrote in his autobiography that there was a very popular holy card with a picture of a child putting his ear to the tabernacle trying to hear Jesus. Dad said that when he did that he got a spanking. 


    Offline TKGS

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    Re: Funny misunderstandings you had about the faith/prayers as a kid
    « Reply #8 on: January 04, 2019, 12:37:35 PM »
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  • My kindergarten (I think) teacher was sick and my father taught me a prayer we could say for her.  It was the "Glory be."  When Lent came and we went to Stations of the Cross, after each Station, the priest led us in the Our Father, Hail Mary, and Glory Be.  I was shocked!  The Church was using the very prayer that my father had made up and taught to me!  

    It was several years before I realized that my father hadn't actually made up the Glory Be.

    Offline Seraphina

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    Re: Funny misunderstandings you had about the faith/prayers as a kid
    « Reply #9 on: January 05, 2019, 01:03:49 AM »
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  •  :fryingpan:  I've a number of childish misunderstandings concerning the faith.  When about three years of age, I accompanied my father to the parish office.  I've no idea why, but once inside, while dad spoke with a man at a desk, the priest entered through a side door.  He sat down at another desk, opened a brown bag, took something out of it, made the sign of the Cross over it, and proceeded to eat a very ordinary looking bologne sandwich. In total amazement, I called out, "Daddy, is he allowed to do that?"  I thought priests lived only on Hosts. 

    I also thought the prayer went, Our Father...."hollowed" be Thy name...  I just figured that God was so vast and beyond understanding, that if you could go up to Him and yell, your voice would echo back as mine did when yelling into the "hollow" opening of the cave on my cousin's farm!   I'd never heard of the word "hallow," and it didn't occur to me to ask.

    When about six years old, our Church was shut for renovation and Mass was moved to the all-purpose room of the school.  (I was a first grader, but didn't attend St. Margaret's because it was beyond the distance for which there was school bus transportation.)  High on the wall above the altar, was painted in blue and gold, the huge words, "Gloria in excelsis Deo," followed by the rest of the Credo in smaller Gothic letteting.  Although the Mass was mostly in English at that time, 1964-5, I knew this was in Latin.  If I got restless, I'd try to figure out what it said.  "Gloria," no problem; it meant Glory.  "In excelsus," was referring to "excellent," but I was stumped by "Deo."  The only similar English word I knew of was on that small bottle of pinkish liquid in the top drawer of my parents' dresser; that stuff my mother rubbed in her armpits so she wouldn't smell sweaty...  Again, I never asked, I figured it was a reminder for adults that God's House should smell nice, not sweaty!  There was also something about a "...minibus" in the writing.  I never did find an explanation for that, except that maybe the Catholic school kids rode there on a minibus?

    My family had a small travel trailer, so we often went for weekends to an oceanside campground about 50 miles from our home.  While there, we went to Sunday Mass at a church called "Scared Heart."  I was always careful to be on my best behavior and really pray because I didn't want to be "scared!" 

    On another occasion shortly after making my First Holy Communion, we were somewhere in Rhode Island visiting the family of Navy buddy of my father. When it came time for Communion, I stood up, but my parents did not.  Dad whispered that he and Mom were not going to receive.  They planned to go to a later Mass with "Uncle" Jim and "Aunt" Eileen, but I should go by myself.  It was a large church, very old, with high, vaulted ceilings and a real pipe organ, much bigger than  I was used to.  I said I didn't want to go, but Dad told me to be a big girl and gave me a little push into the aisle.  I went up, received without problem, and then came the scary part.  The church was big and crowded. What if I couldn't find the right pew where my family was seated?  I literally didn't know a single person.  My worst fears came to pass.  I found myself at the doors, having gone past my family.  People were still coming back to their pews, so going back wasn't an option.  I didn't dare go down the middle aisle lest I end up near the sanctuary and have to take Communion again, a mortal sin!  Badly frightened, I stood by the Holy Water on the Gospel side for the remainder of Mass. Of course I was "found" when my family made their way to the doors.  Once outside, Dad complimented me on waiting in the back rather than rudely squeezing past a long pew full of people.  It wasn't the most devout Communion, but I grew up a bit that day.  I was never afraid again to go to Communion or Confession without my parents. 

    One last anecdote!  At age three I was hospitalized for several days for tests after a series of kidney infections.  This was in 1962; the nursing sisters still wore habits.  I thought my parents had "traded me in," swapped me for my new baby brother who recently been born at St. Charles.  (Years later my mother finally found out why I was so mean and angry when she came to visit!)  The first night I was too upset to eat my dinner.  A young nun came to me and tried her best to comfort me and get me to eat, "just a wee bite of this and a wee bite of that."  At one point she pretended she was going to eat the pickle slice off the hamburger.  "Yummy!  So sweet, so juicy, perfectly delicious!"  She won me over and I took a bite of everything and ate the whole pickle slice.  Sr. then feigned displeasure that I hadn't saved so much as a drop of pickle juice for her.  She was instantly my favorite nun, Sr. Bridget!  The doctors found nothing wrong with my kidneys.  I was discharged and just like Sr. Bridget said, they wanted me back.  A week or so later, we finished off a jar of pickles at lunch.  I got very excited because now I had a gift to bring to Sr. Bridget! Her favorite food in all the world, pickle juice!  But, alas, it wasn't to be.  Before I could say anything, Mom snatched it off the table and poured the juice down the drain!  After some time, it came to light that I believed a nun drank pickle juice!  It became a subject of much teasing and is still sometimes mentioned today.  My sister (NOT A NUN) had her second baby at Sy. Charles.  When I came up to see her and my new nephew, she informed me that she'd told Sr. Bridget I'd bring a gallon of pickle juice, so she seriously hoped I had it with me, or else.....

    I was able, through the one nun still at St. Charles, the last of her convent, at age 97, still visiting patients, the path of Sr. Bridget's life.  In 1962, she'd just taken the habit.  But with Vat. II, like the majority of the nuns, she'd departed having not made final vows. She married, had four children, divorced in the 1980s, and had died of cancer in 1990.  I pray for the repose of her soul.  R.I.P., Sr. Bridget. 

    Offline poche

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    Re: Funny misunderstandings you had about the faith/prayers as a kid
    « Reply #10 on: January 08, 2019, 11:10:50 PM »
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  • In one catechism class the children were asked to draw a picture of God. Many children drew pictures of an old man with his arms extended. Others drew pictures of Jesus, the Cross, or a bird in flight. One child drew a long green thing. When he was asked what that was, he said that he had heard that God was the string been. (aka Supreme Being)


    Offline Mercyandjustice

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    Re: Funny misunderstandings you had about the faith/prayers as a kid
    « Reply #11 on: February 05, 2019, 08:46:11 PM »
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  • I used to think the Glory Be was a prayer against the end of the world ("...world without end.") I watched a lot of disaster movies as a child and so a disastrous end of the world was a constant anxiety of mine. I would even pray the Glory Be when there was a thunderstorm, as I was afraid a tornado would hit the house. It is because of this misunderstanding that, for many years now, I've been ending the Glory Be with "Forever and ever." "World without end" doesn't make sense and sounds kinda awkward to me.
    Christians who preach their doctrine with bitterness and sarcasm don't preach out of love for God or souls, but only to assert dominance over others; out of pride.

     

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