Author Topic: Matrimony (Read 3769 times)

Kephapaulos · « **on:** January 22, 2007, 10:36:37 PM »

I also decided to start a thread on matrimony since it is a very big issue as well. :wink: I have heard about people getting divorced and it saddens me a lot and I ask probably like many others why did they get married in the first place. I think now though that perhaps many should not get married. We have more selfish temptations around us now, not to mention the addition of family dysfunctions as it is already. I figured out two things that one should keep in mind though in choosing a spouse: 1) Will this person help me get to heaven? (the spiritual) 2) Are we or can we be best friends? (the temporal).

What do you think?

Matthew · « **Reply #1 on:** January 22, 2007, 11:26:48 PM »

Fr. Timothy Pfeiffer gave a great explanation of this.

He said that, without grace, all you have is the passions.

Indeed, the passion of love is very capable of bringing two people together, and can make them do great things. But the problem is, it's a crap shoot. You never know what kind of luck you're going to have.

The flipside, explains Fr. Pfeiffer, is that the same lower nature that brought the couple together in the beginning, can rip them apart later. The problem is, neither husband nor wife ever conquered themselves, subjecting the lower nature (passions) to the higher nature (intellect/reason).

We all must conquer our passions, and subdue or at least control them. That can take a lifetime.

So among the non-Catholics, or those without religion, you CAN have a couple (more or less) happily married for 50 years. But for every one of those, you have 30 divorced couples :shocked:

Most people are not insanely lucky.

When you enter into Sacramental marriage (Matrimony), you have God's grace helping you. Also, both husband and wife understand that their soul is at stake in the marriage. They MUST "make a go of it" and get along with each other, and raise their kids Catholic, or they will have a difficult salvation, if any.
They know they only get one shot at marriage, unless their partner dies. That helps to keep both couples "trying hard" as it were.

Matthew

miserere · « **Reply #2 on:** January 23, 2007, 07:56:28 AM »

Greetings in Christ,

I highly recommend the following little book containing the writings of St. John Chrysostom on Marriage and Family Life...

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0913836869/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0913836869&linkCode=as2&tag=httpwwwchanco-20

It is a collection of his writings and homilies on marriage. If Catholic couples would accept and practice his sage advice, the divorce rate would be ZERO.

The only word of warning about the book would be to ignore portions of the introduction, written by an Eastern Orthodox Bishop, unless you want a somewhat historical analysis of the differences between marriage in the Western and Eastern Churches.

Peace be with you.

Christopher

Carolus Magnus · « **Reply #3 on:** January 23, 2007, 03:11:55 PM »

Here's something I learned from Aristotle concerning marriage. In his opinion a man should marry at age 37 and a woman at age 18.
This is worth thinking about just because it goes agaisnt general opinions in the west that men and women should be roughly the same age if they marry. Aristotle gives, as with most things he says very logical reasons, its quite long though so I won't type it out unless this idea interests you.

If you look at history and also many other cultures today you will see that this idea isn't as taboo as it is made out to be in the West and the idea of say two 18 year olds marrying is in fact a very recent idea as far as I can tell.

I'm tired tonight so I hope the above makes sense

John Steven · « **Reply #4 on:** January 23, 2007, 05:52:39 PM »

Quote from: Carolus Magnus

Here's something I learned from Aristotle concerning marriage. In his opinion a man should marry at age 37 and a woman at age 18.
This is worth thinking about just because it goes agaisnt general opinions in the west that men and women should be roughly the same age if they marry. Aristotle gives, as with most things he says very logical reasons, its quite long though so I won't type it out unless this idea interests you.

If you look at history and also many other cultures today you will see that this idea isn't as taboo as it is made out to be in the West and the idea of say two 18 year olds marrying is in fact a very recent idea as far as I can tell.

I'm tired tonight so I hope the above makes sense

Well, find an 18 y.o. woman these days that would even be open to the idea of marrying someone more than twice her age. I'm afraid that is not going to happen any time soon. I'm seven years short of 37, and 18 would be too young even for me.