Author Topic: Married for many years (Read 1338 times)

poche · « **on:** July 04, 2015, 12:13:26 AM »

Few love stories can say that they began at the age of eight. But for Jeanette and Alexander Toczko, they couldn't have imagined life any other way.

What began as a childhood crush later bloomed into a deep, committed love – a love that would last throughout a war, five children, and seventy-five years of marriage.

“Their hearts beat as one from as long as I can remember,” said Aimee Toczko-Cushman, one of the couple's five children, according to the Daily Mail.

After meeting his future wife at the age of eight, Alexander Toczko married Jeanette in 1940 while he was enrolled in the U.S. Navy as a telegraph operator. Alexander was a devoted husband to his wife Jeanette, and as Catholics, he fondly carried a snapshot of Jeanette's First Holy Communion in his wallet.

The Toczko's settled in San Diego, California in 1971 where Alexander and Jeanette worked together, establishing their own fashion photography and advertising firm. Alexander had a passion for golf and sketching, and the couple loved to travel with each other.

They raised their five children in the San Diego area, and over the years became the proud grandparents of ten grandchildren.

This past June, the couple celebrated their 75th wedding anniversary. Alexander, a WWII veteran, was 95 and Jeanette was 96.

The couple's health had been declining over the months, especially after Alexander had taken a recent fall, breaking his hip.

“He was going fast,” their son, Richard Toczko, remembered.

Hospice care was brought to Jeanette and Alexander's home, so that they could share their own bed and stay close to each other in their final moments.

Remarkably, the inseparable couple had a dying wish that they often told their children – they both wanted to pass away together, in each other's arms and in their own bed.

Alexander was the first to go on June 17. Once Jeanette had been informed that her husband had died, she said, “See this is what you wanted. You died in my arms and I love you. I love you, wait for me, I'll be there soon.”

Jeanette died only hours after her husband on June 18.

“Even the hospice nurse said it was the most incredible thing to see the two of them taking those last breaths together,” Aimee Toczko-Cushman said.

“They both entered the pearly gates holding hands,” reflected their son, Richard Toczko.

A funeral mass was held for Alexander and Jeanette on June 29, a ceremony which commemorated both their lives and their 75th wedding anniversary. They were buried at the Miramar National Cemetery in San Diego.

http://www.catholicnewsagency.com/news/this-95-year-old-catholic-couple-died-in-each-others-arms-26337/

OHCA · « **Reply #1 on:** July 04, 2015, 12:52:42 AM »

Quote from: poche

"They both entered the pearly gates holding hands,” reflected their son, Richard Toczko.

Does the Bogus Ordo permit folks to canonize their own relatives these days?

Also, maybe I'm wrong, but my perception of Hospice is basically Jack Kevorkian making house calls.

poche · « **Reply #2 on:** July 04, 2015, 01:12:32 AM »

Quote from: OHCA

Quote from: poche
"They both entered the pearly gates holding hands,” reflected their son, Richard Toczko.

Does the Bogus Ordo permit folks to canonize their own relatives these days?

Also, maybe I'm wrong, but my perception of Hospice is basically Jack Kevorkian making house calls.

I agree that it would be prudent to pray for the repose of their souls rather than prematurly canonizing them. However they were married for 75 years. They must have been doing something right. I think it would be better for people like them to talk to the synod about marriage and family life than the divorced and remaarried or the "gαy" marriage people.

Matthew · « **Reply #3 on:** July 04, 2015, 08:51:41 AM »

Quote from: poche

They raised their five children in the San Diego area, and over the years became the proud grandparents of ten grandchildren.

I know that some couples can't have children, have difficulty conceiving, etc., etc.

But you can't hold up one of those (late-marrying, difficulty conceiving) couples as a model! That's just the way it goes. It reminds me of the modern world, which wants to give everyone "first prize". No, some people just don't deserve first prize. Life isn't fair. Most people with common sense understand that, and are OK with that.

So this couple recently died in their 90's. So did my wife's grandmother. So did my paternal grandmother. They both had EIGHT children. That's a typical, average family size when no birth control or "rhythm method" is used. Baby Boomers (those born 1948 - 1961) had a smaller # of children -- down to about 4.

So this couple was avant-garde, they were on the leading edge of the tendency towards smaller families. And they did such a good job conveying to their children what a blessing children are, that EACH of their children had an average of 2 children -- again, that's a bit on the low side for Baby Boomers! Baby Boomers generally had 3 or 4. It's modern couples today that have 1 or 2.

Yes, they stayed together for 75 years. But that's more the luck of their genes, and luck that they found each other so early. Not everyone gets to meet his wife at age 8.

Quote

The Toczko's settled in San Diego, California in 1971 where Alexander and Jeanette worked together, establishing their own fashion photography and advertising firm. Alexander had a passion for golf and sketching, and the couple loved to travel with each other.

Sounds pretty worldly to me. I'm not impressed. Fashion photography? That's about as vain and immodest as it gets. Advertising? Are you sure this couple wasn't Jєωιѕн? Advertising is all about media power, money, and making people buy things they don't want -- exploiting human nature. Not exactly a Catholic pursuit. A passion for golf and sketching -- those are fine hobbies, but what was his real purpose in life? To make people buy what they don't want, and to cover the vagaries of the fashion world.

Like I said -- not exactly the model I'd hold up for the world to admire.

pat · « **Reply #4 on:** July 04, 2015, 11:48:02 AM »

Quote from: OHCA

Quote from: poche
"They both entered the pearly gates holding hands,” reflected their son, Richard Toczko.

Does the Bogus Ordo permit folks to canonize their own relatives these days?

Also, maybe I'm wrong, but my perception of Hospice is basically Jack Kevorkian making house calls.

re: hospice.... it helps people with the dying process.. (making the person as comfortable as possible) my cousins husband passed 4 weeks ago... they brought a bed in ( he was 72 and had been fighting cancer for years)

he refused pain meds almost to the end.

hospice people only tell you what to expect.

CathMomof7 · « **Reply #5 on:** July 08, 2015, 08:25:13 AM »

Quote from: pat

Quote from: OHCA
Quote from: poche
"They both entered the pearly gates holding hands,” reflected their son, Richard Toczko.

Does the Bogus Ordo permit folks to canonize their own relatives these days?

Also, maybe I'm wrong, but my perception of Hospice is basically Jack Kevorkian making house calls.

re: hospice.... it helps people with the dying process.. (making the person as comfortable as possible) my cousins husband passed 4 weeks ago... they brought a bed in ( he was 72 and had been fighting cancer for years)

he refused pain meds almost to the end.

hospice people only tell you what to expect.

Then you had a good experience.

I have had experience with hospice with both my father-in-law and my own mother.

I am totally convinced hospice encouraged my mother-in-law to inject her husband with a lethal dose of morphine. My MIL has so much as said so. It was tragic.

I know personally I fought tooth and nail to keep hospice from hastening my own mother's death. Every week almost they were asking me to consider with holding food and water and meds. Every week. I finally had to call the physician and make threats. My mother lived for 14 months--about 8 months longer than hospice had planned and long enough for her to make peace with God, have a conversion, and see her family.

Hospice is not a benevolent organization.

OHCA · « **Reply #6 on:** July 08, 2015, 09:00:52 AM »

Quote from: CathMomof7

Then you had a good experience.

I have had experience with hospice with both my father-in-law and my own mother.

I am totally convinced hospice encouraged my mother-in-law to inject her husband with a lethal dose of morphine. My MIL has so much as said so. It was tragic.

I know personally I fought tooth and nail to keep hospice from hastening my own mother's death. Every week almost they were asking me to consider with holding food and water and meds. Every week. I finally had to call the physician and make threats. My mother lived for 14 months--about 8 months longer than hospice had planned and long enough for her to make peace with God, have a conversion, and see her family.

Hospice is not a benevolent organization.

This is consistent with what I have heard about hospice. This is how it was with my uncle and the grandmother of a close friend. I wouldn't give them a dime any sooner than I would give one to planned parenthood.

PerEvangelicaDicta · « **Reply #7 on:** July 08, 2015, 11:32:21 AM »

Quote

I know personally I fought tooth and nail to keep hospice from hastening my own mother's death. Every week almost they were asking me to consider with holding food and water and meds. Every week.

This is precisely what I observed 20 years ago with my sister's mother and father in law, within 2 years of each other. They were novus ordo Catholics who easily succuмbed to the hospice persuasion to hurry up their deaths. Her mother in law was convinced to just stop eating / drinking (emphysema). It was a horrible death.

I'd visit them to discuss end of life issues pertaining to their salvation, and the entire family would leave the room! They were / still are fallen away Catholics and the entire clan is a dysfunctional mess.