Author Topic: Marriage encounter for childless stepmother (Read 1605 times)

Backpew · « **on:** June 19, 2015, 12:36:50 PM »

My husband signed us up for Marriage encounter, He has three grown kids, I am barren and I have none.

Is marriage encounter heavy on kids discussion, I've not had positive experiences with church functions and I need to prepare myself if it'll be a weekend of assumptions and accusations.

I have no kids, no I didn't use birth control.
I did have a hysterectomy at 28 to save my life.
Yes, I'm a successful and well paid woman
No I don't apologize for it.

Backpew · « **Reply #1 on:** June 19, 2015, 12:45:19 PM »

Looks like I'm pretty much out of sync here too.

songbird · « **Reply #2 on:** June 19, 2015, 01:12:20 PM »

Marriage Encounter is a new order program. When we were new order, we went because a couple encouraged us to go.

Result, we were glad to leave and come home! the couple who encouraged us was surprised that we did not get something from it.

We went in 1994. There were troubled couples there. Couples who cried about some issues and how they feel better after writing letters to each other every day.

I told my husband, we talk to each other every day! There was no priests for confession and I don't remember a mass. These programs are usually set up for any new order catholic or non. And I think the one we went to was set up for trouble marriages. We were not in that boat.

We were glad to come home!

Matthew · « **Reply #3 on:** June 19, 2015, 01:18:43 PM »

Quote from: Backpew

...I need to prepare myself if it'll be a weekend of assumptions and accusations.

I have no kids, no I didn't use birth control.
I did have a hysterectomy at 28 to save my life.
Yes, I'm a successful and well paid woman
No I don't apologize for it.

You seem a bit defensive.

Apologize? Hey, you said it, we didn't.

My advice: don't confuse the behavior/actions of others with the words of your own conscience. People could be completely kind and civil towards you, NOT talking about you constantly, and yet your conscience might be bothering you and giving you no rest.

"The wicked man fleeth, when no man pursueth: but the just, bold as a lion, shall be without dread." (Proverbs 28:1)

Capt McQuigg · « **Reply #4 on:** June 19, 2015, 01:50:36 PM »

Backpew,

No one said you had to apologize for being successful.

I would ask though - successful at what?

BTNYC · « **Reply #5 on:** June 19, 2015, 02:43:21 PM »

Quote from: Backpew

Looks like I'm pretty much out of sync here too.

Well you haven't been here long enough; besides I thought you'd had a hysterectomy?

Capt McQuigg · « **Reply #6 on:** June 19, 2015, 03:02:06 PM »

Quote from: BTNYC

Quote from: Backpew
Looks like I'm pretty much out of sync here too.

Well you haven't been here long enough; besides I thought you'd had a hysterectomy?

Maybe Backpew is getting hysterical on us?

TKGS · « **Reply #7 on:** June 19, 2015, 03:13:40 PM »

Quote from: Backpew

Looks like I'm pretty much out of sync here too.

At the moment, I don't know if you're "out of sync here too" or not. I do know that you made this comment only nine minutes after making your first comment.

I would encourage your husband and you to get out of the Novus Ordo and find a traditional chapel.

Once source for locating traditional chapels can be found at:
http://www.ecclesia.luxvera.org/Directory-USA.html

I think "Marriage Encounter" is simply silly. Do they help couples build stronger marriages? Perhaps. From what I've seen, stable marriages remain stable. Trouble marriages remain troubled.

Do they help married couples work out their salvation in fear and trembling? Not that I have seen.

BTNYC · « **Reply #8 on:** June 19, 2015, 03:15:32 PM »

Quote from: Capt McQuigg

Quote from: BTNYC
Quote from: Backpew
Looks like I'm pretty much out of sync here too.

Well you haven't been here long enough; besides I thought you'd had a hysterectomy?

Maybe Backpew is getting hysterical on us?

Not far from it... Certainly shrill (as all feminists seem to be).

Nadir · « **Reply #9 on:** June 19, 2015, 05:00:39 PM »

Backpew (if you're still around), I don't know how many down-thumbs you got during the first 9 minutes, but people around here might have been down-thumbing Marriage Encounter, rather than you. Though I think Matthew hit the nail on the head pointing out your defensiveness in your first post.

Besides, one usually gets down-thumbs when one comments on one's own down-thumbs.

Why does your husband want to go to Marriage Encounter? Why not a romantic weekend away, just the two of you, somewhere?

My advice would be not to attend, but I would recommend you individually attend an Ignatian retreat. You would find it a far more enriching experience.

poche · « **Reply #10 on:** June 22, 2015, 11:02:56 PM »

Quote from: Backpew

My husband signed us up for Marriage encounter, He has three grown kids, I am barren and I have none.

Is marriage encounter heavy on kids discussion, I've not had positive experiences with church functions and I need to prepare myself if it'll be a weekend of assumptions and accusations.

I have no kids, no I didn't use birth control.
I did have a hysterectomy at 28 to save my life.
Yes, I'm a successful and well paid woman
No I don't apologize for it.

Marriage Encounter is for the couple. It is about you and your husband improving your marriage. If the talk turns to children why not listen politly and maybe your husband, who has experience might make a suggestion or two.