Author Topic: manners (Read 2416 times)

Tiffany · « **on:** January 20, 2013, 08:01:49 AM »

I don't know what this is called?
Men who sit relaxed around women.
It's always made me uncomfortable.
I don't want my son picking it up.

I see varying degrees of it. I've seen men stretched out in the bookstore with their hands behind their head to one of the fathers at the homeschool group sitting back rubbing his wife's shoulder.

I NEVER see it in white men over 70 or southern black men the same age. They seem to have public manners.

Traditional Guy 20 · « **Reply #1 on:** January 20, 2013, 09:10:05 AM »

Can you explain what you mean by men all "relaxed" around women?

Tiffany · « **Reply #2 on:** January 20, 2013, 09:28:00 AM »

Like sitting back, sitting very relaxed, I'm not exactly sure how to define it.

Tiffany · « **Reply #3 on:** January 20, 2013, 10:14:54 AM »

I don't have a media example of what I think is inappropriate but character Robert Hardy plays in the James Herriot series would generally be an example of the desirable behavior. He isn't relaxed in the presence of women and he always has a polite way of speaking to women even his maid. He isn't casual with them.

Gimli · « **Reply #4 on:** January 20, 2013, 11:39:42 AM »

Traditional Roman Catholicism (which is my greatest love of all time) means so much and one of it´s meanings in my book is manners. I always feel so uncomfortable when I´m surrounded with bad and uncatholic manners and behavior. People with no respect for themselves or others is one of the worst things modernism can offer (well, that list can be so long). The homepage tradition in action has helped me a lot when it comes to concrete and black and white pointers and rules for dignity and manners. The "culture page" is a great source!

ShepherdofSheep · « **Reply #5 on:** January 20, 2013, 11:47:53 AM »

If I recall correctly, Robert Hardy plays Siegfried Farnon, right?

I know what you are talking about...and would Tristan Farnon be the opposite of this ideal? :)

I don't like really casual behavior in men...but at the same time, I don't want one to act all stiff and nervous either. It just makes me uncomfortable. There's respect and also a certain polite ease which makes interaction pleasant and proper.

And Tiffany, I really liked the All Creatures Great and Small program, back when we had a TV. The books are even better! I always laugh when reading them because there is so much timeless truth in them. It's also fun to diagnose the cases while reading...

Elizabeth · « **Reply #6 on:** January 20, 2013, 01:07:12 PM »

Quote from: Tiffany

I don't know what this is called?

In my day it was called 'slouching', and it was unacceptable. Absolutely forbidden at the table, punished at school.

It included poor posture while walking, also.

TV glorified all types of bad manners, starting with "TV dinners" and ugly little tables for people to use to eat in front of the TV with.

Graham · « **Reply #7 on:** January 20, 2013, 01:47:16 PM »

This is something I struggle to correct in myself. I was brought up with a bit of this 'no slouching at the table', but not enough, so I suspect I will have to spend a long time consciously reminding myself not to slouch. In some other ways I have stiff manners, coming from quite English and German stock. For instance people will sometimes apologize after touching me (not as in bumping into me, but in the way people will touch you during conversation, perhaps on the forearm, knee, or shoulder), apparently because of a subtle negative reaction I give off.

I've mentioned a book I'm in the middle of on education in the middle ages. It was held as axiomatic that bodily discipline - a noble posture, smooth and controlled movements, and so on - contributed to moral formation. I can see a lot of sense in this idea, though it goes without saying that one shouldn't exaggerate it.

Gimli · « **Reply #8 on:** January 21, 2013, 05:46:32 AM »

Salve Graham! What is the name of that book? I would like to read it.

Graham · « **Reply #9 on:** January 21, 2013, 07:37:37 AM »

It is called The Envy of Angels, by Stephen Jaeger.

vinceaglieri · « **Reply #10 on:** January 21, 2013, 09:38:12 AM »

There is another book called the Catholic Manual of Civility. It covers a lot of things like keeping an orderly work place, table manners, the eyes and the gaze, how to walk and stand and sit, how to speak, etc etc.

I find it very informative as I was not taught enough proper manners myself. :)

Graham · « **Reply #11 on:** January 21, 2013, 10:04:20 AM »

Gimli, I should add that the book is not a manual of instruction, but an historical survey. That said, one can still find many helpful ideas in the source material it quotes.

Quote from: vinceaglieri

There is another book called the Catholic Manual of Civility. It covers a lot of things like keeping an orderly work place, table manners, the eyes and the gaze, how to walk and stand and sit, how to speak, etc etc.

I find it very informative as I was not taught enough proper manners myself. :)

http://www.traditioninaction.org/tiabk022Civility.htm

Gimli · « **Reply #12 on:** January 21, 2013, 01:14:20 PM »

Thank you both so kindly. Yes I know about that book and I will order it soon.

Gimli · « **Reply #13 on:** January 21, 2013, 01:20:45 PM »

Quote

I find it very informative as I was not taught enough proper manners myself. :)

My dear friend. Are not we all? Most people in the modern west grow up culturally and spiritually mutilated, almost that they stole our innocence from birth but some of us has this enormous desire for God, dignity, virtues and a noble way of life ,put that all together and you get Traditional Roman Catholicism!

Elizabeth · « **Reply #14 on:** January 21, 2013, 01:28:31 PM »

Quote from: vinceaglieri

There is another book called the Catholic Manual of Civility. It covers a lot of things like keeping an orderly work place, table manners, the eyes and the gaze, how to walk and stand and sit, how to speak, etc etc.

I find it very informative as I was not taught enough proper manners myself. :)

It is inspiring for all that you have the grace and humility to notice this in the first place, and then set about fixing it. There are good dining classes in some cities, very helpful for self-confidence in case a job interview includes lunch or dinner.