Author Topic: Looking for help: no patience (Read 960 times)

Dazed and Confused · « **on:** November 27, 2016, 07:47:48 PM »

Over the years I've been finding myself to be increasing less patient with things.
Loud coworkers, neighbor who has a flood light that kind of shines on my house, other neighbor with a dog that barks regularly. Many other things.

Things that at one point I don't know if I would have ever noticed when I was younger.

Regularly I act out on it. I'll march over to the neighbor's house and straightforwardly (but not hostility) will say something like "Please bring your dog in the house now. I've heard him bark enough". Or whatever the nature of the issue might be.

Now, I typically think I'm justified in doing this. I find the actions of the neighbors or coworkers to be very inconsiderate.

But, it's like a stain that bleeds into other things. From past experience I know that something that didn't bother me before will in time become something of great stress.

One day I was messing around on youtube and found a video for some traditionalist catholic page. The video was on patience and for whatever reason I decided to listen to the video. Now, really having no idea what a Catholic (let alone Traditional Catholic) view on patience was or how it even tied into my issue (prior to clicking).... I found myself quite taken aback from what I heard.

It sounded very interesting and counter-intuitive from what I would have assumed to be the way to handle the issue.
The video was saying "let it be there" essentially.... "let it make you become upset" and to "trust in God to grant you the grace to change your heart". One theme that came up was a human's incapability from overcoming these issues (impatience and anger) on their own.... how much we require God's grace to do this.

Now that was just one video. There was a lot of content in the video.... but I can only say that it was very intriguing.

So, here I am at a Traditional Catholic message board and my question is.... is this true? Is this the Catholic view???

My lack of patience, quick to feel myself the victim of some injustice (neighbor's floodlight on my house), and the ever growing list of things that "set me off"..... am I going about it all wrong with the 'considerately confronting' the perpetrators of these issues?

Thanks.

songbird · « **Reply #1 on:** November 27, 2016, 08:24:37 PM »

You are older? than young? As we get older, lack of hormones bring us to less patience and with Vit. B6 couples shots, can make men feel much better. Not so edgy. The shots you do yourself and no hurt, about once a month or twice as needed. Those who smoke or did, may need twice a month.

Women need Evening Prime Rose oil gels and that makes us feel mellow. Just for starts.

Once that is covered then you can see things better and then say, is this an issue to reckon with. God knows this world is cold which we read on First Fridays "The Sacred Heart" consecration.

So, look at that first and then go from there. The way I see it, we are supposed to be uncomfortable with the world, because we look forward to perfection in Heaven.

Some things we offer up and like dogs that bark for so long, something has to give.

Matto · « **Reply #2 on:** November 27, 2016, 09:14:57 PM »

If you can, please post a link to the video. It sounds interesting and after watching it we could better respond to your post.

Nadir · « **Reply #3 on:** November 28, 2016, 01:19:15 AM »

Welcome to CathInfo, Dazed and Confused!

Yes the Catholic viewpoint, or teaching, is quite often the opposite of the worldly one.

The fruits of the Spirit are perfections that the Holy Spirit forms in us as the first fruits of eternal glory. The tradition of the Church lists twelve of them: "charity, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, generosity, gentleness, faithfulness, modesty, self-control, chastity."

So there you have it.

I am waiting for you to answer Matto's question. Or at least tell us who made the video.

Meanwhile, hang around there's a lot to learn which will be helpful to you in more ways than you can imagine.

God bless you.

BTW, I would never say to anyone to take their dog in the house, merely to keep their dog quiet, because I believe that the house is not for dogs and dogs belong outside. It could be that the dog is barking at a snake or at passersby, or even a trespasser. The thing is, because folk can hardly control themselves nowadays, they have trouble controlling their dogs. But this is another issue.

Stubborn · « **Reply #4 on:** November 28, 2016, 04:11:05 AM »

Quote from: Dazed and Confused

It sounded very interesting and counter-intuitive from what I would have assumed to be the way to handle the issue.
The video was saying "let it be there" essentially.... "let it make you become upset" and to "trust in God to grant you the grace to change your heart". One theme that came up was a human's incapability from overcoming these issues (impatience and anger) on their own.... how much we require God's grace to do this.

Now that was just one video. There was a lot of content in the video.... but I can only say that it was very intriguing.

So, here I am at a Traditional Catholic message board and my question is.... is this true? Is this the Catholic view???

My lack of patience, quick to feel myself the victim of some injustice (neighbor's floodlight on my house), and the ever growing list of things that "set me off"..... am I going about it all wrong with the 'considerately confronting' the perpetrators of these issues?

Thanks.

It sounds counter intuitive to me too and no, that is not the Catholic view.

Patience is a virtue, this virtue needs to be practiced regularly or you end up doing what you are apparently doing - feeding your self pity with petty annoyances which can only add to your impatience.

Snip from the book Trustful surrender to Divine Providence

Quote

It remains to be seen how we can attain to this happy state. One sure way to lead us to it is the frequent practice of the virtue of submission. But as the opportunities for practicing it in a big way come rather seldom, we must take advantage of the small ones which occur daily, and which will soon put us in a position to face the greater trials with equanimity when the time comes. There is no one who does not experience a hundred small annoyances every day, caused either by our own carelessness or inattention, or by the inconsideration or spite of other people, or by pure accident. Our whole lives are made up of incidents of this kind, occurring ceaselessly from one minute to another and producing a host of involuntary feelings of dislike and aversion, envy, fear and impatience to trouble the serenity of our minds. We let an incautious word slip out and wish we had not said it; someone says something we find offensive; we have to wait a long time to be served when we are in a hurry; we are irritated by a child's boisterousness; a boring acquaintance buttonholes us in the street; a car splashes us with mud; the weather spoils our outing; our work is not going as well as we would wish; a tool breaks at a critical moment; we get our clothes torn or stained -- these are not occasions for practicing heroic virtue but they can be a means of acquiring it if we wish. If we were careful to offer all these petty annoyances to God and accept them as being ordered by His providence we would soon be in a position to support the greatest misfortunes that can happen to us, besides at the same time insensibly drawing close to intimate union with God.

It's only a short book and well worth reading.

AMDGJMJ · « **Reply #5 on:** November 28, 2016, 09:07:47 AM »

Patience is not an easy virtue to acquire...

We all are impatient from time to time. We all face things that make us annoyed. It is not a matter about how we feel, but how we act in response to the temptation of losing or patience.

Impatience is a result of pride in our hearts, and our thinking that we deserve better. Yet, if we have committed even one little sin; we merit a whole lifetime of trials to make atonement for our offense against God.

God sometimes allows the devil to make us annoyed to give us an opportunity to grow in holiness. The older we get, the more it is essential that we grow in virtue so that by the end of our days we may be perfected enough that we will make it to heaven.

I often pray to my guardian angel to help me to be patient when I am ready to punch someone, and that sometimes helps...

You are not alone in your struggles. All of us are tempted to impatience. Just keep fighting the good fight and try your best to overcome the difficulties in your life with the help and grace of God.

Dazed and Confused · « **Reply #6 on:** November 28, 2016, 01:01:04 PM »

Thank you, everyone... for taking the time to reply.

It gives me a lot to think about.

AMDGJMJ,
That reply struck a nerve with me (in a good way).

Incredulous · « **Reply #7 on:** November 28, 2016, 03:07:17 PM »

Take a daily dose of the medicinal "good mood" herb, St. John's Wort.

It will calm your nerves and give you patience, with no side effects.

You know it has to be good, if 40 million Germans use it, and "big pharma" hates it.

Give some to the dog too.

Clemens Maria · « **Reply #8 on:** November 28, 2016, 04:11:28 PM »

Fr. Bernard Welp on patience:
[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/embed/aTiU1o8Z4Ic[/youtube]

Fr. Benedict Hughes on patience:
[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/embed/Bbx2-FFq6IA[/youtube]

What patience is not:
[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/embed/UZmotHae-eI[/youtube]

Also, it is good to have a sense of humor about things that don't go your way. Because if one more person asks for advice about how to achieve the virtue of patience, I will blow my top!!! I've had it up to here with that stuff!!! It's driving me crazy!!!

St Ignatius · « **Reply #9 on:** November 28, 2016, 06:52:20 PM »

Quote from: Incredulous

You know it has to be good, if 40 million Germans use it,

Huh... nobody told this german about this stuff, I thought my impatience was just a result of seven kids! Gonna have to try some of this stuff. :wink:

AMDGJMJ · « **Reply #10 on:** November 28, 2016, 08:39:37 PM »

Quote from: Dazed and Confused

Thank you, everyone... for taking the time to reply.

It gives me a lot to think about.

AMDGJMJ,
That reply struck a nerve with me (in a good way).

I am glad to do what I can to help any of my fellow Catholics! :-)

Remember that we are always here for you if you ever need anything!

Oh, and for laughs... Here is one of my favorite quotes:

"Lord, please grant me patience...and give it to me now!"