One of the things that concerns me about the choice for marriage someday is how likely would it be if a girl I courted was working in a career or toward one and would give that up to become a stay-at-home mother. I wonder what percentage of girls want to even become sahms in the the U.S.

Indeed, MaterDominici, finding a good Catholic spouse is the greater the challenge. I suppose the question that could be posed is: does this person truly love Christ? Or another question could be: do I see Christ in this person?

I beg to differ with the opinion that many women go to college only to find their future spouse.

In our changing society it is often difficult to find a good Catholic partner and I certainly haven't encountered any likely candidates during my time at university. Rather, I embarked upon an academically-rewarding enterprise to further my education, expand my ability to think and write in a critical, well-informed manner and to secure my future prospects for when I enter my chosen career.

It is unfortunate that certain elements of the SSPX (speaking as a long-term supporter) consider further education for women to be a "time-killer" before said women become "SAHMs." This is a view I have come across both at my old alma mater and through discussion with certain aquaintences  who hold the position (promulgated, in part, by Bishop Williamson) that women are better off at home learning how to run a household and that women attending university is at best filling in time and at worst a distraction to the men at the institutions.

For those women who find themselves engaged in the single life, either through choice or through lack of a desirable spouse, their  duty is to provide for themselves rather than be a burden on their families. A well-educated, well-qualified woman will have more options open to her than one who has only completed a basic education program. Furthermore, the world is in desperate need of Catholic professionals, and for a women to pass up the chance to become such because she supposes that she will become a wife and mother while young results in a lost opportunity.

It seems to me that the best course of action for a woman to take would be to become as highly qualified as her circuмstances allow. Far better to have the option of giving up a good career to become a mum than to have neither a husband nor a career...

I love the information though Joan    :smile: I totally agree with all the points there. Once the adolescent ideals of romance give way to realism, the critera becomes far more Christ-centric.

I guess that all depends on her devotion to her ideals.  If she's willing to sacrifice her career for her kids, she gains much merit. If she isn't, she might not want the added stress of getting married and raising children anyways and prefer to remain single. There's nothing wrong with choosing to remain single and having a career. It all depends on the person and how they choose to exercise their free will. I think its important that women have that option rather than just resigning themselves to waiting, perhaps forever, for some suitable guy to come along.

Besides, that would be something to ascertain before one gets married. It would be something to decide about together before one enters the state of marriage. I'm of the mindset that if I get married, I'm intending to have children, and thus would accept the fact that I'd cut down on working life so as to be there for the kids in their early years. If someone was of the mindset that their career should come first no matter what, chances are that a devout family-centric guy wouldn't marry them anyways.

When I say "waiting", I don't mean becoming inanimate   One can wait for something to happen without stopping all other activity... what I mean is that one shouldn't shape their long-term plans with the attitude that sooner or later one will get married, as it may never happen. There are however people who do take that attitude, so it's not an inappropriate scenario to cite....

Cure them? If i was a doctor, I'd prescribe them some Mary Wollstonecraft  :wink:

I see some of my friends from the Middle East and India/Pakistan  who resign themselves to waiting for a husband and some don't even take up offers of doing Masters because they see no point in it. it's a cultural thing to an extent, but it means that if for some reason their anticipations don't work out and they find themselves still single,  Likewise, some traditional Catholic women I've come across see work as something short-term, and are happy to settle for low-wage jobs rather than pursue a career because they expect they'll get married. They see no point in training for several years to become a doctor or build their way up in a firm because they expect that they'll have to quit to look after a family.  That's what I mean by "waiting" for a husband- not sitting at home, but not looking at long-term possibilities either.

"That's what I mean by "waiting" for a husband- not sitting at home, but not looking at long-term possibilities either."

Good explanation. If a woman doesn't prepare for a career of some sort--no matter how much she may hate the idea of working--she may be doomed to serious poverty. I always find it mindboggling when people--men and women--claim they are "called to marriage", when maybe they have never dated, and God has never placed a suitable companion in their lives. I believe such individuals are living in a fantasy--a dangerous fantasy, especially for women who aren't preparing their finances for the single life. In general though, I don't understand how anyone can believe he is "called to marriage" before he actually meets someone.

When people say they are "called to be married", I often want to ask: "Called to marry who?" When a woman chooses religious or single life, she knows she is giving her life to Christ--Christ becomes her Spouse. But a person who claims he should be marrying is essentially dedicating his life to the pursuit of a complete unknown--a mysterious person who may not even exist.