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Offline SaintsSoaring

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Kind of Fed Up!
« on: November 27, 2017, 01:40:41 PM »
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  • Hello,

      I know that I posted a thread, "This is funny" about how I was mistaken for a Jewess 3 times in a month.
    But after a while, it is starting to become ridiculous!
    -During Thanksgiving dinner, my friend's father joked and asked me "are you sure you're not a Jew?" (because I was dressed in a long skirt and a long sleeve shirt).
    -I was shopping at a mall during Black Friday and I had this irrational fear that I hope no one mistakes me for a Muslim because I wore this long skirt, long sleeve shirt, and a long sweater coat.
    -My mother, who is not a practicing Catholic, asks me why I dress like this. She tells me I dress like a Muslim or an Indian (Hindu) sometimes.

    Why does it have to be if a young lady dresses in modest dresses she is first not thought of as Catholic, but thought of as Jewish or Muslim? I am getting fed up. I do not want to be mistaken for another religion when I dress modestly!

    Sorry Cathinfo, I just had to rant. :cussing:

    Thank you for understanding. :)


    Online Nadir

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    Re: Kind of Fed Up!
    « Reply #1 on: November 27, 2017, 01:58:51 PM »
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  • It seems to me that you like to draw attention to yourself. Except for a short period in my teenage years I always dressed modestly yet nobody saw fit to ask me why. Maybe you are being a little extreme. You can dress modestly without being obvious.


    Offline SaintsSoaring

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    Re: Kind of Fed Up!
    « Reply #2 on: November 27, 2017, 02:10:12 PM »
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  • I hope that is not the case of drawing attention to myself, Nadir. I live in multicultural city with a lot of Jews and Muslims, so I feel like I have an irrational fear of being mistaken as one of the other religions. :/

    Offline Marlelar

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    Re: Kind of Fed Up!
    « Reply #3 on: November 27, 2017, 03:24:52 PM »
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  • I hope that is not the case of drawing attention to myself, Nadir. I live in multicultural city with a lot of Jews and Muslims, so I feel like I have an irrational fear of being mistaken as one of the other religions. :/
    But you obviously are drawing attention to yourself.  Being truly modest does not require that every inch of skin be covered except your hands and face.

    Offline Neil Obstat

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    Re: Kind of Fed Up!
    « Reply #4 on: November 27, 2017, 03:37:00 PM »
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  • .
    When my daughter was in middle school several years ago she wore long skirts because our priests encouraged it and she was trying to follow their advice. But people at her school, especially the administration, kept accusing her of trying to draw attention to herself because they said that girls who wear long dresses want to attract attention. She was offended by these comments, and one day came home crying. I asked her if she would like me to see what I could do about it, and I promised to not embarrass her, but that I felt rather helpless unless I could go and have a meeting with the vice principal. She said, "Okay."
    .
    So I got an older woman friend of a friend to come with me, since my mother was unable to get around or speak at the time after her stroke. I really would have liked to have my mother's help and I sorely missed that. But the lady friend agreed to come and act as a buffer between me and the vice principal. When we arrived at her office she was dressed in a mini skirt. I kid you not. This is a woman in her late 50's, a Jewess, and showing her legs far above the knee. It looked really sick! 
    .
    The meeting was very productive and we covered a lot of ground. I was so glad to have my friend there because I was having feelings of severe revulsion with that administrator's appearance and attitude. I probably would have had an open verbal battle with her if I had been alone. She really needed to be put in her place. The would likely have called security in on me.
    .
    At the commencement ceremony this same vice principal was walking around on a raised stage, set up on the grassy mall, wearing the same stupid mini skirt! I think she was possessed. An openly wicked woman.
    .
    Anyway, after we had asserted ourselves face-to-face with this creepy woman, my daughter's problems abruptly disappeared. So I guess we can know from whom the problem was derived.
    .
    It's important for Catholics to take a stand. If you have a father or an uncle or even a brother who can go defend you and your choice to dress modestly, it makes a big difference. That's my recommendation.
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    Offline Neil Obstat

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    Re: Kind of Fed Up!
    « Reply #5 on: November 27, 2017, 03:40:47 PM »
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  • But you obviously are drawing attention to yourself.  Being truly modest does not require that every inch of skin be covered except your hands and face.
    .
    Perhaps you have a good intention, but it seems to me you may be misunderstanding something. It is very common in some settings these days for certain women to presume that modest dress means craving attention. It's a strange twist on how people think these days. Any woman that goes against the latest trends gets accused of seeking vanity, because, well, what other motive could any woman ever have in the first place? Isn't vanity the be-all and end-all of motivation? If you're not vain, you have no ambition, you know?
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    Offline Neil Obstat

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    Re: Kind of Fed Up!
    « Reply #6 on: November 27, 2017, 03:45:02 PM »
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  • I hope that is not the case of drawing attention to myself, Nadir. I live in multicultural city with a lot of Jews and Muslims, so I feel like I have an irrational fear of being mistaken as one of the other religions. :/
    .
    Another way of looking at this is that just because Jews or Moslems dress in a particular manner doesn't mean it's reprehensible.
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    There are traits of many non-Catholics that are good and honorable traits, regardless of their religious beliefs.
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    I'm sure you can think of something you can do with your clothing that makes it less confused with Jews' or Moslems' dress habits.
    .
    Not saying this would be a good idea, but not too long ago Catholic ladies used to wear a lace material on their hat that they used to cover their face when they walked around in public. That kind of thing was still used before WWII quite frequently, and I have seen it on rare occasions even these days. It actually looks rather classy, but you have to be pretty brave to do it. In any event it does not look Jewish or Moslem or Hindu. It has a distinctively Catholic appearance, even regal.
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    Offline Marlelar

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    Re: Kind of Fed Up!
    « Reply #7 on: November 27, 2017, 05:40:36 PM »
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  • .
    Perhaps you have a good intention, but it seems to me you may be misunderstanding something. It is very common in some settings these days for certain women to presume that modest dress means craving attention. It's a strange twist on how people think these days. Any woman that goes against the latest trends gets accused of seeking vanity, because, well, what other motive could any woman ever have in the first place? Isn't vanity the be-all and end-all of motivation? If you're not vain, you have no ambition, you know?
    .
    I'm not suggesting she is "craving" anything, nor do I suggest that she start wearing shorts and tank tops, what I am stating is that modesty does not consist in calling undue attention to ourselves by any means at hand.  There is no virtue in exaggerating a virtue.

    However if SaintsSoaring is comfortable dressing the way she currently does then she should continue to do so and stop complaining to strangers online about the reaction she gets IRL.


    Offline Seraphina

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    Re: Kind of Fed Up!
    « Reply #8 on: November 27, 2017, 07:36:39 PM »
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  • I also work in a large city, New York, where I've been mistaken for a Jewess, but not a Muslim as I do not wear a head covering in warm weather, and in cold, my hat would not be worn by a Muslim.  Really, it doesn't bother me.  Orthodox Jewish women are known for being modest and having good taste in clothing.  If necessary, I politely inform the person that I'm Catholic.  I don't care what the general public thinks of my clothing because my aim is to please Jesus and Mary.  Plus, I'm too busy to go into a long explanation most of the time.  In New York, one can pretty much wear anything or nothing(!) without generating undue attention.  The only time clothing generates attention is if it obstructs traffic in the street, sidewalk, or on public transportation, or the wearer smells bad. Since I do not cause these problems, I'm usually ignored.
    Example, a woman in a huge paper mache bumble bee costume boarded the 6 train during evening rush hour.  The stinger poked people and she took up too much room.  She was the worthy recipient of obscene remarks before disembarking after a dozen stops.  A nude man except for Adidas and a floor buffer ran down the middle of 2nd Avenue at 9:30 pm.  He was yelling something about Obama and darting in front of cars.  Horns blared, curses were called, and middle fingers raised.  As soon as he left the roadway for the relatively vacant sidewalk, there was no more problem.  
    The OP might consider moving to NY where her modesty will go largely unnoticed!

    Online Nadir

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    Re: Kind of Fed Up!
    « Reply #9 on: November 27, 2017, 08:37:53 PM »
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  • I hope that is not the case of drawing attention to myself, Nadir. I live in multicultural city with a lot of Jews and Muslims, so I feel like I have an irrational fear of being mistaken as one of the other religions. :/
    Maybe I should have said that you are possibly too self-conscious. I wasn't thinking about you drawing attention to yourself on the street, as nowadays there are so many weird sights to be seen that a modestly and tastefully dressed young lady would be a nice change for most folk. I was referring to your drawing attention to yourself here. Not that that's such a bad thing. Sometimes we need to do it.
    .
    Also you said you wear long skirts, (which I also do), and long sleeves (which I do also - in the winter) and you said you had a long sweater coat. So how's the weather there? And how would anyone notice the shirt if you wearing a coat over it?  

    Quote
    I was shopping at a mall during Black Friday and I had this irrational fear that I hope no one mistakes me for a Muslim ....
    -My mother, who is not a practicing Catholic, asks me why I dress like this. She tells me I dress like a Muslim or an Indian (Hindu) sometimes.
    So what is this irrational fear? and why do you experience it?
    .
    What answer do you give your mother?
    .
    I disagree with GJC
    Quote
    Next time your mother, or anyone makes that comment to you, simply say...

    With all do due  respect, I only care what Jesus and Mary think of my attire.

    Your mother is not just anyone. Honour and respect is her due and to say that would be most disrespectful. Explain the demands on a Christian woman. She may never have heard them. You might even ask her advice on your dress.
    .
    Do you wear some outward sign that you are a Catholic - a crucifix or a miraculous medal perhaps?

    Offline jvk

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    Re: Kind of Fed Up!
    « Reply #10 on: November 27, 2017, 09:29:46 PM »
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  • Also, the type of long sleeved/skirts you're wearing might resemble those worn by Muslim/Jews.  You know, the bright colors, the silky type fabric...maybe?  Or not.  How do you wear your hair?  That might contribute to the misconception as well. 

    Funny that it happens to you so many times, though!  Maybe you could just start handing people business cards, that state, "I'm Catholic.  Pray the Rosary!" 

     


    Offline Croix de Fer

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    Re: Kind of Fed Up!
    « Reply #11 on: November 27, 2017, 11:43:52 PM »
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  • Hello,

      I know that I posted a thread, [...]

    Thank you for understanding. :)

    How old are you? (Not being contentious; I'm actually curious of your age)
    Blessed be the Lord my God, who teacheth my hands to fight, and my fingers to war. ~ Psalms 143:1 (Douay-Rheims)

    Offline Croix de Fer

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    Re: Kind of Fed Up!
    « Reply #12 on: November 30, 2017, 12:15:59 AM »
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  • Wear a crucifix with the Corpus Christi around your neck and on the outside of your shirt to prevent any confusion about your faith. People who see you should no longer confuse you as a Jew or Muslim.
    Blessed be the Lord my God, who teacheth my hands to fight, and my fingers to war. ~ Psalms 143:1 (Douay-Rheims)

    Offline B from A

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    Re: Kind of Fed Up!
    « Reply #13 on: November 30, 2017, 07:07:48 AM »
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  • Wear a crucifix with the Corpus Christi around your neck and on the outside of your shirt to prevent any confusion about your faith. People who see you should no longer confuse you as a Jew or Muslim.
    Good idea, or a Miraculous Medal, or some image of Our Lady.  

    Offline Mr G

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    Re: Kind of Fed Up!
    « Reply #14 on: November 30, 2017, 08:21:42 AM »
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  • Hello,

      I know that I posted a thread, "This is funny" about how I was mistaken for a Jewess 3 times in a month.
    But after a while, it is starting to become ridiculous!
    -During Thanksgiving dinner, my friend's father joked and asked me "are you sure you're not a Jew?" (because I was dressed in a long skirt and a long sleeve shirt).
    -I was shopping at a mall during Black Friday and I had this irrational fear that I hope no one mistakes me for a Muslim because I wore this long skirt, long sleeve shirt, and a long sweater coat.
    -My mother, who is not a practicing Catholic, asks me why I dress like this. She tells me I dress like a Muslim or an Indian (Hindu) sometimes.

    Why does it have to be if a young lady dresses in modest dresses she is first not thought of as Catholic, but thought of as Jewish or Muslim? I am getting fed up. I do not want to be mistaken for another religion when I dress modestly!

    Sorry Cathinfo, I just had to rant. :cussing:

    Thank you for understanding. :)
    The Devil is just trying you, it has happened before to other women and girls that try to dress according to the Catholic standards of modesty. All this means is that you must be very pleasing to Our Lord, because you are not settling for the minimum standards but dressing to the ideal standards. May God bless you!

     

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