NEW YORK (CNNMoney.com) -- It's the season for giving, but most kids can't stop thinking about what kinds of gifts they will be getting.

Dealing with your kids' oversized wish lists for holiday gifts can be a little overwhelming.

The last thing you want is to end up in a pile of credit card bills you can't pay come January because you couldn't say no to your kids.

Be upfront about your budget. "Believe it or not, kids will actually listen to you," says Janet Bodnar, editor of Kiplinger's Personal Finance and author of "Money Smart Kids."

Explain that there are limits to what your family can afford and use it as an opportunity to talk to older kids about budgeting by asking kids to narrow down their lists.

"Say, 'if you had to pick, of all the 13,000 things on this list, if you had to pick five, what would they be?'" suggests Bodnar. "Or, 'if you had a budget of say, $100 or $200 or $300, what would you choose?' It becomes a learning tool."

With so many folks out of work, pinching pennies is inevitable in countless households, but a conversation about cutting back doesn't have to be a burden on your little ones.

Simply explain how this holiday many differ from holidays in the past in terms of gifts, travel and other expenditures. Bodnar says the best way to go about this is to tell kids, " 'We're working on a budget, we're still going to have a holiday season, but, you know, we're not going to have as many gifts as we did last year.'"
Santa will bring it

Mom and Dad might not have the money for too many gifts this year, but what about Santa?

If you child assumes Santa will bring the bike or video game system that you have already explained your family can't afford right now, let him or her down easy.

Explain that Mom and Dad work together with Santa as a team, suggests Bodnar. "We're working together, so if there's something that is too expensive or something that is too dangerous or we don't think is appropriate, Santa's really not going to bring it either."

If push comes to shove, explain that Santa has the same budgetary concerns that you do this year. "Say, 'You know, Santa's also on a budget,'" proposes Bodnar. "'I mean, he's got a lot of demand from a lot of boys and girls around the world and also limited resources, so he has to watch how he parcels things out, too.'"

This way, at least you have avoided any potential disappointment on Christmas morning.

Anywhere from $100 to $150 is about the max for what parents should be spending on their kids these days. There is always a big demand for spending at Christmas time, so it isn't always easy to say no to your kids. In some situations though, it's best to say no.

I like the quote in the article,

Quote

if you had a budget of say, $100 or $200 or $300, what would you choose?

I can't imagine spending $300 on one child. Talk about spoiling them!

I told my wife we're not going to spend the same X per child when we get a few more children -- I mean, think about it! That could be $175 to $200 worth of toys coming into the house in a days' time! And that wouldn't count Grandma & Grandpa gifts.

Our humble house still has to fit all that stuff! And also, it's that much more that my wife will have to track down, price compare, etc. and buy on Amazon during the month of December. Eventually it would get to be too much. We'll probably try larger "shared" gifts -- they have to share their toys anyhow.

Matthew

Yep, that's exactly right. And when all those toys end up in a thousand little pieces all over the house, I get frustrated over the nagging them to pick it up. My continual reminders to, "take care of your belongings" falls on deaf little ears, then it all ends up getting chucked in the trash anyway.

Don't spoil them. Less is more.

We shop at the thrift stores once a month or so throughout the year and by the time Christmas time comes, we have at least half of our shopping done for the kids.  We find brand new looking books for .50 or $1.00 at the most, and when we priced them at Borders they were $16.99.  We find brand new looking clothes and toys. We also do a bit of shopping on Ebay and get great deals.  We also do a bit of last minute shopping if we see amazing coupons.  

Dumping their stockings out is still very special in our house.  They get some nice sweets, a tangerine and a little gift  - maybe some gloves or a rosary, and even with the adult kids we have lots of fun talking about what St. Nicholas brought!

We give practical items to the adult family members on our list such as a nice holiday food item or a gift card to a store so that they can shop the after Christmas sales.

We don't spend the same amount on each child and each year we seem to need to lower that amount.  It really depends on their needs.  The kids still living at home have a cupboard full of board games so we sure don't need anymore.  Everyone, including the grandkids get mostly practical gifts (a nice pajama outfit or clothes that they need anyway) and then they get a book or 2 and one nice gift that is on their (very short) wish lists.  The older kids get the gift card for the after-Christmas sales as I mentioned above.

We've been blessed with kids who remember to focus on the Birth of Our Lord.  Attending Christmas Midnight Mass is the most important part of our celebration.  Trying to focus on a spiritual Advent has always been key to our Christmas spirit.

Parents' teachings usually do come full circle and the fact that we always tried to not spoil our kids has made a very big difference in our family and the families that they are now building.  It is wonderful to be able to focus on the true meaning of Christmas and savor the time that we have with each other rather than the commercialism of the world.

A Blessed Advent to each of you!

P.S. Do you all know that it is Ember Saturday?
ora pro me

Bump!

Any ideas for a postable gift for a young traditional Catholic mother and for a 3 year old?

A portable gift?  recently, I emailed my niece with a family off five daughters and gave her some catholic catalog places to check out and make a wish list.  I ordered and then mailed it from the USA.  That was our position because some catalog people don't mail outside the USA.  Maybe do the same idea.