Hi all,

I can't really explain what life is like to me, but I am a magnet for cruelty particularly from strangers. I mean, I look after my appearence/ i'm always polite/ dress modestly/ I dunno what i'm doing....

I've always been a target for bullying schools/workplace etc
 
What I'm trying to deal with in my day to day life,, is why so many strangers are cruel to me, rude with me in shops/restaurants/ etc recently got yelled at down my GP's office over my marriage surname confusion. 

Even my other half says i'm a magnet for rudeness. I've looked at my persona, facial expressions, am I giving off bad vibes - don't know?? All I know is that i'm incredibly polite and nice and I wouldn't hurt a fly.

I've just gotten use to people being rude to me over the years and accepted it's just one of those things I have to put up with.


I think yesterday was the nail in the coffin when I just broke and couldn't take it anymore, partly because I'm battling some health complication at the same time and it all got a bit too much......

I was at the swimming pool about an hour into my swim, had the lane to myself doing laps, I stopped at the end and took a rest for a minute. Then this women in the lane next to me, said sorry, but I just need to talk to you. I was like okay, is eveything ok?
 And then she starting saying all these insulting things to me, like I need to take a shower etc ... (I am NOT somebody with bad hygiene Yuck, trust me!! I wash more than enough) she wouldn't back down then taunted me when I said I was off to complain about her. 


I just broke... and I had to sit in the swimming pool office and cried for such a long time.. I just feel like i've dealt with so much cruelty in my life from people.. strangers act like i'm just a new target, but little do they know i'm everyone's friggin target. 

They didn't find the women as she scarpered. 

I'm filled with so much anger, it's just built up. I'm turning bitter.. help, want to be forgiving but I'm struggling 

You are not alone.  

People today are cruel and maybe possessed.  And they are getting meaner and ruder.  And if they know you are a Catholic, they will do their best to be provoke.  

The best thing is to ignore it.  It isn't you.  Say a prayer.  Something happened to me the other day and instead of saying anything back, I said nothing.  I prayed a little too.  It soothed me. 

It is worse when family members are cruel.  Arguing doesn't work.  
It is difficult. But we have to pray for them.  

Going to Confession and Mass.  And pray the Rosary.  

From personal experience I’ve met people who honestly have fallen so far from God that they don’t even know the word kindness. The only thing I can suggest is maybe seeking some counseling from a therapist, or trusted priest. You need to have a safe place to cry, and feel overwhelmed. 


Also, please remember. You are loved. My God, but Mama Mary, by Jesus, By your guardian angel, by all the saints and angels because you were made in Gods image. No one. Absolutely no can take that away from you.